Appear

***
Please.
Please be there.
Appear.
Hold me tight when I'm crying and don't let me go.
I'm scared and nobody understand, I don't mean that you will -I know reality- but just hold me and let me lean on your shoulder and know that everything will be okay because you'll whisper it to my year anytime a weep came out from my lips and then became to a silent cry.
I'm happy and I want people to know. Actually I want you to know and ask me tons of questions to make sure that I had great time because there's no way you'll stay aside while someone hurting me.
I'm terrified when I'm waking up and you're gone, like my real life is a nightmare while when I'm asleep the life I want is turning on again.
How many times I can be silence when I know I have much to say to you.
But like you say, "Who cares?" when someone say something stupid, you won't care and I fee dead when you'll said all the bad things about me awhile I forget the good side and know every word is truth.
You'll say I'm fat - I'll starve to death only to you to like me.
You'll say I'm geek - I'll fail at school only you to say I'm cool.
You'll say I'm ugly - I'll kill myself so you will never have to suffer when you'll look at my 'ugly' face.
You're my whole world (for now and for probably the next few years)  and you are for me like the wilting rose from "The Beauty and the Beast".
I'll wait for you to say you love me.
I can bet that I'll just stand shocked and after it I'll remind myself how stupid I was when you told me you love me and I stand like a goddamn sculpture.
I love you.
And I'll keep loving you.
From the only girl that can say it.
***

Lately I really like to make letters that no one will see and be able to laugh on me.
It's better.
It's remind me the last night dream (the one that I remember because the other one was beautiful and I forgot).
I'm sure that somehow Jacob -yes, twilight hits again!- know that Dmitri is going to kill Edward while he go to do something -maybe buying a car or getting fake IDs- he telling it  to Bella and she know there's no chance he'll comeback.
Jacob making 3 necklaces with different signs.
The first have weird shape of U with a wave that symbol 'Orphan' from a white gem.
The second one it's a pair of hands that if standing it in the right direction the hand show heart sign from silver with a rock alike top coat.
The third necklace is a big dark red rare gem and frame with small white and black diamonds.
Then my mother waked me.

From left to right: Ido, me, and Itay
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