What now

I feel nothing.
I'm just an unemotional robot.
Answering without any muscle in its face to move.
I want to let go my chakras, I want energy to flow.
In Blue Moon and Shadowlands it worked quite well for Damen and Ever.

So today I watched with my mom "Beautiful Creatures" and I won't tell you the ending.

So as said in Beautiful Creatures (also in the trailer) in our language there's things we can't explain with words, like my emotions.

I can tell you that I have no idea what's happen tomorrow.
All I know that on the 11th I'm going to the doctor, probably to get a therapist.
I feel like the smallest thing can break me down.

And I'm going to London on the 15th and on the 18 to New York.
They give me everything, EVERYTHING. And what I give back? Pain? Mini-heart-attack?

Maybe letting go chakras would be hard then I thought.
What now?

I don't have any privacy anymore, no longer.
From now the post would be barely edited.
Because I can't say all of it where my parents can look.
I don't even allowed to hide my Facebook anymore.


I still remember the line from some movie with a Peck guy that the cool girl writes on hangman:
"Life is bitch and then you die"
I can't