Birthday

Bella was right, birthdays are just to celebrate that you're closer to death and stuff.

I've got the proof.
My back aching like hell.
And I'll probably break my hip.
And now stomach made an earthquake in itself and a tornado in my lungs.
Being 12 sucks.
Eleven weren't fun either.

I can't believe that it's the shitty start I'm starting with.
Memorial Day (again!) and on the evening there's a huge party in the city because today is our country birthday also.
I like this fact.
When people ask me about my bat mitzvah (not such a thing, dvash+bat+mitzvah) I say it's today and all the city comes and there's an awesome DJ, and there will be fireworks, as because it'll be so awesome old people will complain.
And then I remember there's a huge dancing show.

So back now to eleven, I want to think about the past year.
I got bullied about liking Itay and about that everyone thought that I made a Facebook that of someone imaginary.
Then I opened blogger account.
My first post were about kca and if thinking of it I hate this post.
I could use my smartass and don't act
stupid because its not cute, it's dumb.

-trust me- -I see it everyday-

And yes, I acted this way for long time.
Then I started my real first post.
With the confession, of how stupid I was and for what I'm really for.

I remember (but I think it's when I was ten) that I wrote on Facebook (nothing good gonna come from Facebook) that I hate my life.
Now I get that my mood there is much much much much better then now.
I used to be an attention seeking whore, now I'm not a whore I'm just need attention and I don't care I just want attention, like how baby wants.
This mood when I was there, is now my mood high when I'm happy now.
And I love it this way, it would be unhealthy if ill be happier.
I remember that I thought I'm so fat.
And I remember that I thought I'm in love with someone, but I just need a friend.
And I remember I almost throw up and I was so happy (and then sad because I failed).
I remember I connected so much to the documentary movie about Demi lovato.
And how can I forget that my parents discovered about my cuts.
And that's it.
The most of being eleven.
Eleven sucked.
And the future aren't promising a thin.
The future it's like the air, always moving, changing.

For now like I always do, I'll just pass time, pass tears, pass laughs, pass music, pass life.

For now ill addict my brain for music.
Ignore my brain, and let the noises pass from one ear to another.
I'll keep hating one-direction because I'm sick of hearing BLONDIE's song an everyone thinks its of one-direction.

I'll keep not eating my school breakfast, and live in the five hours and twenty minutes school.

Then I'll feel fat. Like I always do.

I'll keep wearing my "love" ring from gold and the letters are beautiful. L. O. V. E. all together.
And I'll wear my bracelet that's only string and charms.

So I'm about to go to school.
Happy birthday to me! And for you whenever you have one!
Byes!