Windy guitar

I'M A GUITAR.
THE WIND STRUMS ME.

Everytime I hear that song, I just burst laughing.
I can't handle it.
He just sang "I'm a guitar", and when I think about it, I imagine my old Russian (Russia forever! Stalin in blood!) music teacher (I knew her for about 8 years), saying it "I'm a guitar".
I just love it.
They call me psychopathic for making up my mind, and actually using my brain, and philosophy that I learned by myself, a friend, and maybe the internet, but calling a human completly normal with a beautiful voice when he sure that he's a fucking guitar.
Try to figure that out...


THERE WAS A RUSSIAN DUDE.
AND FROM THE KIND THAT WILL NEVER LET THEM CUT HIM IN THE MIDDLE.
I ADMIRE RUSSIANS.
I'm sorry, I just love Russians.


I ate fat today.
I started with some pizza, and then for mid brunch a tiny apple, then before lunch I finished the pizza, and lunch was chocolate and XL sugarfree, I also ate few popsicles, and juice, and for dinner I ate delicous roll, some beef (okay, being a vegiterian is impossible right now), salad, it was delicous.
You know, today I wondered about a thing, like on those fanpages (and trust me, those "XXX liked the post of ZZZ" are full with those bullshit), so if there's a pro ana site, in their Imagines thing, is it about food? Or being skinny? Or being so skinny so you can eat everything?
Oh well...
Not my skinny problem.

You know, my laptop was still no those religous posts.
By now, my favorite post was about that New Yorker man, who lived for a year by the bible, as simple as it is, like the bible done, that's what he done, it's started with morning pray, and evening with some throwing (tiny unharming) rocks on homosexuals, I just loved this idea.
To live for a year, differently.
It's like that movie when they meet the aymishes (I also remember there was the shoe tree), and the teenagers, in some point of their life, live however they want, and then they can choose, what lifestyle they want.

And my favotire comments, I'm not sure, actually.


I just saw a commercial, and it looks like a club, and all you can see is the shadows that the people cast.
They all look like zombies.


Actually, all the comments I love, is espcially with my family name, which is also a mental ill hospital, so it makes me laugh a lot.


There's now a disease spreading, and there is two kinds of immunation (it's the Polio), one is the weak virus, and another is the dead one.
All I think about is the Plague in the book.
This is so creepy.
Luckily, I got mine when I was a baby (immune since birth, maybe I will also be immune to the red pill, who knows?), but my brother got it recently.
I hope I won't get the mutation...


Actually, I think that the main problems of Judaism (feel free to find things that are the same in other religions), is the fact of the over clothing, the no sex, and the fearful touching.
I think that they are all unhealthy.
I don't find wearing long heavy clothing on summer is great, it's awful, why would you suffer, and on Israel?! It's so fucking hot in here, one day in the summer I put a hair mask, and it had eggs (I almost wrote eyes!), so after I washed it, tiny pieces of real scrambled eggs (with some conditioner in it), because my scalp was on fucking fire.
And the fearful touching, what's so wrong with hugging, high fiving, slapping, punching, or kissing? You won't get HIV that fast! It's stupid, in the same way we can lock you in a fucking bubble (Bubble Boy is a wonderful movie), and that's it.
BUT THE WORST.
NO FUCKING SEX BEFORE MERIAGE.
I think it's stupid, you might not fit in sexually, and it's terrible.
I'm sorry, not having sex is terrible, and no options, only in complete dark.


I want to have a surgery.
It's a cosmetic one.
And it's on the breast.
It's inverted nipples treatment.
I always felt extremly insecure about that.
I felt that I'm not huamn like, it only increased my thought about being a fucking mutation.

Look how my body is out of proportions!
My hands are huge, and one wrist is different from the other, my ankles never grew properly so I wear stupid silicone gel thingy in my shoe, and it's only the beginning!

When my parents will have more money, I will do that surgery, you have no idea how much it affected me for all of my life.
I never had enough courage to take out my clothes in the company of girls, I even suffered being naked in front of the mirror.

I pretty much hate them, it's so stupid.
And all those stories that my mother told me, that it can be dangerous to have inverted tits, because it can explode from all the milk after pregnancy.
I know I will feel better with looking normal, stop beaing such a mutation.


I just can't stand it, since I was little I noticed that something wrong with them, I just born with it, and everybody in my family was normal, large nipples, small nipples, pointy nipples, but nobody had something like me, only one, and I never saw her.

So...

Now I just read about something with alcohol and beer. 

My first encounter with beer was when I was three. 

I drank a bit and vomited. 

Ever since I'm okay with any kind of 18+ drink. 

My stomach is used to it. 

And the best proof was last year, that mango vodka (my favorite juice with buzz tingling effect), and it affected great on me, I was hyper. 

I love being hyper. 

It's better than depression anyway. 

So I'm done. 

Tomorrow I will post, hopefully. 

I just don't have enough time in that renovation. 

It supposed to take two weeks from now. 

Let's just hope for the best!

Berries, survivors,

I hope you'll make it.