"It's kind of scares me that you never eat"
That's what my mom just said after I told her that I don't want to eat breakfast.
It's normal.
It's not that I eat a shitload daily.
It was usually just tea, and even then just maybe.
My stomach hurts.
Not hunger, more bowel thing.
I understand why my mother used to hate to go to the toilet.
It's not fair.
I'm fatter than my mother.
It should be the opposite.
...
My lunch was three cups cabbage (57), and one tbsp of sweet chili sauce (~20)
It's around 77.
I'm going good.
...
I'm making Parve gluten-free cupcakes for my sister.
Parve is without meat or milk, something Jewish.
And gluten free because she got celiac.
I saw what's inside the recipe.
I'm so not going to eat it.
And now, I'm sitting in the table, pleased from the thigh gap that's forming between my legs, wanting to binge, but I can't!
I want to eat everything in the kitchen, but I can't!
I just can't eat chocolate and sweets, and so many things because of LTD.
I know why the diet is working, nothing sweet kills carvings, and you can't eat so many foods, that you can't binge.
Crap.
I'm after making some frosting to my sister's cupcakes, I'm making half-a-cup of blueberries.
49.
77+49=126
I saw what's inside the recipe.
I'm so not going to eat it.
And now, I'm sitting in the table, pleased from the thigh gap that's forming between my legs, wanting to binge, but I can't!
I want to eat everything in the kitchen, but I can't!
I just can't eat chocolate and sweets, and so many things because of LTD.
I know why the diet is working, nothing sweet kills carvings, and you can't eat so many foods, that you can't binge.
Crap.
I'm after making some frosting to my sister's cupcakes, I'm making half-a-cup of blueberries.
49.
77+49=126
...
I just are dinner, one small and one medium cucumbers, one tbsp of hummus, and half eggwhites.
It's adding up to 106 (I picked the cucumber sizes both on large, I don't believe it's that low cal).
It's 33 for the hummus, 8.5 for the egg, and 64 for the cucumbers.
It sounds more right when it's 106.
106+126=232.
I was supposed to eat today 600.
But I can't find myself eating anything.
Tomorrow is 1000.
Is it a joke or something?
I don't find it funny, you know.
But tomorrow is home pizza day, so it's kind of making sense.
And since have therapy (I'm comforting myself with the fact that for a full summer I won't have to go there, unless something will happen).
And because of the diet, I can't eat so many binge leading foods.
It's the best, and the worst, in the same way.
No food.
By the way, something that surprised me a bit, 1 lotus biscuit is 36 calories!
And one of those crackers without gluten is 56 calories!
It's easy to know what's more satisying.
And from whole-wheat one it's 35 (34.944 if it matters).
EASY PICK DEAR.
EASY PICK.
And I'm not aloud to eat those biscuits anyway.
...
My mom is annoyed by my not eating.
How can health annoy people?
I'm trying to go healthy, atheletic, happy, depression-free, the weight I'm supposed to actually be in.
I'm aware of the fact I want to be in a lower BMI.
That's obvious.
But I know when to stop.
It's not only about weight.
It's more measurements than weight.
My dad (back to dad, not father), telled me to breath on him, to know if it's my breath that stinks.
He thinks it's a dental problem.
So do I.
There's nothing normal in my teeth health.
Mine occasionaly bleed.
This is a new medical condition.
Teethbleed.
The nosebleed of the dentists.
And I'm using now some sort of a mouthwash that makes me not to eat for thirty minutes.
The taste and the bottle's directions tell me so.
So, my mother will have to be less bitchy (or at least less loud about it) for what I'm doing.
And I'm going to eat something infront of her tomorrow if necessary because we are watching a show tomorrow together.
The Beauty & Geek.
It's getting worse with the years.
But it's the only reality I watch, so yeah.
But we're also watching Moone Boy.
I love it.
A british boy with his adult imaginary best friend, living with his three sisters and his parents, being bullied by twins that their father is actually really friendly towards his father and they are in parental support group thing, and his having a deal with the bullies' bully, making his sister to date with him.
Tomorrow is 1000.
Is it a joke or something?
I don't find it funny, you know.
But tomorrow is home pizza day, so it's kind of making sense.
And since have therapy (I'm comforting myself with the fact that for a full summer I won't have to go there, unless something will happen).
And because of the diet, I can't eat so many binge leading foods.
It's the best, and the worst, in the same way.
No food.
By the way, something that surprised me a bit, 1 lotus biscuit is 36 calories!
And one of those crackers without gluten is 56 calories!
It's easy to know what's more satisying.
And from whole-wheat one it's 35 (34.944 if it matters).
EASY PICK DEAR.
EASY PICK.
And I'm not aloud to eat those biscuits anyway.
...
My mom is annoyed by my not eating.
How can health annoy people?
I'm trying to go healthy, atheletic, happy, depression-free, the weight I'm supposed to actually be in.
I'm aware of the fact I want to be in a lower BMI.
That's obvious.
But I know when to stop.
It's not only about weight.
It's more measurements than weight.
My dad (back to dad, not father), telled me to breath on him, to know if it's my breath that stinks.
He thinks it's a dental problem.
So do I.
There's nothing normal in my teeth health.
Mine occasionaly bleed.
This is a new medical condition.
Teethbleed.
The nosebleed of the dentists.
And I'm using now some sort of a mouthwash that makes me not to eat for thirty minutes.
The taste and the bottle's directions tell me so.
So, my mother will have to be less bitchy (or at least less loud about it) for what I'm doing.
And I'm going to eat something infront of her tomorrow if necessary because we are watching a show tomorrow together.
The Beauty & Geek.
It's getting worse with the years.
But it's the only reality I watch, so yeah.
But we're also watching Moone Boy.
I love it.
A british boy with his adult imaginary best friend, living with his three sisters and his parents, being bullied by twins that their father is actually really friendly towards his father and they are in parental support group thing, and his having a deal with the bullies' bully, making his sister to date with him.
Confusing.
But it's from the same beautiful channel called BBC.
The home of the beautiful people.
I guess I'll never let go the memories of Simone and Kylie.
I think that lately I'm not talking real life enough, I might talk to you about what's my opinion about ideas, it's fascinating if you're into that endless phillisophical questions.
Good nighty-night!
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