I just love sport a little bit more.
Why?
Watt's shows.
The fans, the players, the cows.
One guy that sat on the bench (the youth group of mexico as far as I can rememeber), suddenly, half of the guys who say covered their nose and pointed on another guy.
He farted.
His shame.
And the goalkeppers.
You just had to see them.
The backgoround music of the editors is just perfect.
There was one, and the music was "I'm just too drunk", and the man just failed.
Failed miserably.
And Rafael Nadal (or however it spelled), the best OCD tennis player.
His hillarious.
AND THE FANS.
Forty people, sitting together, and a bunch of guys holding a sign.
All of them wore batman costumes, and the sign said "#the batcave", I wish I could find you a photo, but I don't have one.
And the fans of the Tour De France.
Two guys in a sumo suit.
A banana suit.
An egg suit.
And the cows.
....
I nead half from the people there.
Including the stoned guy who airguitared in the middle of the tennis field.
And the sumos.
And the cows.
I need a ride for school.
....
AND WHAT I DID TODAY.
REBUANNA, JONATHAN.
GAL, SHIRA, YAEL, ME.
BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.
Okay, yesterday, I was volunteering for a trip with kids with CP.
I know, tragic.
But come on, they are so cool.
There was a...
STOP REMINDING ME A DEAD PERSON.
I SHOULDN'T WATCH AVION ROE'S WHO I AM, BUT I AM.
I'LL REGRET IT.
BUT I'LL REGRET DECIDING TO GET PREGANANT WHEN THE CONTRACTIONS WILL COME.
Well the day started with an "Excresise".
If you count a finger(s) movement with a nice rhyme as an excresise, then we excresised.
And after a short while, I went on the bus, and I was quite surprised to see Gal (the blonde-ginger tall guy, you know who I'm talking about), he told me he wasn't the only one who joined late.
MB DID TOO.
He had no idea how much I wanted to turn those sleeves red because he thought she's so nice, and normal.
I feel hurt.
Deeply hurt.
I got over it, we played together a bit on Balloon's battles.
Games slove problems and issues. Deal with it.
After we got there.
Shira, Yael, and I, went together to ask for a pairing, after all, we needed a kid to come with us, it's the whole point.
We got Jonathan at first.
And after a while, while we all (the tiny four group), sat together, we had Reubaenna in front of us, her girli went away, and we asked if we can be with her.
We fooled with our names with her.
She was surprised from my name.
A very long story short, it was the best.
At the way home, Gal sat with me again.
It ended with us going for ice cream after school on Friday.
....
3 heart symbols comment, got a response.
"Cancer"
I told you that the comments are the best.
LEARING TO FUCKING SPELL TORA.
Fucking teens.
Ruining the tweens.
THERE'S A WAY TO SPELL, AND THIS IS NOT ONE.
I smile, why?
I remember the comments.
When that girl wrote to that magazine that she wants posts and posters of "heavy metal bands" like Black Veil Brides, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens.
I can't feel half from my mouth, and the other is in pain.
Fucking joy.
Well, the comments on her post-request, the best thing ever.
You just can't hate people who make fun of others.
It's great.
...
I want to watch John Tucker Must Die.
But I don't feel like watching bunch of stupid girls being cheated on.
And I don't feel like eatching bunch of humans eating and staying thin.
I hate that I can't feel my mouth.
I have no idea if I'm bleeding or not.
And it happened me once.
It was so weird, I bit myself on the side of my tongue (the thick part, in the back of your mouth), and I assumed it was nothing.
I was drinking raspberry juice, and after I drank it, I saw pieces of unmixed dark red liquid, I assumed it was the concentrate.
It wasn't.
And that I figured out after three cups of juice.
I drank water to check it up.
I was bleeding.
It hurted for month or two.
I plan on cutting there.
It will be much better.
Easier to hide, and will make me not want to eat.
I'm awful.
My life is pretty good, considering it deeply, but I'm still that depressing stupid girl.
....
I like posting two days in one post.
...
FUCKING HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
CAN'T YOU JUST DECIDE WHO YOU ARE?!
AND YES I'M TALKING TO YOU.
YOU FUCKING SCALE.
DECIDE WHO YOU ARE!
I think I'm going to restrist again.
I just hate not knowing what I'm doing.
Well, tomorrow it's Friday.
I'll try my best.
I'll just stay in my room.
Well, it's after school, walking home (and on the morning, after no breakfast), at school I'll eat gum or something, I'll just put some rice with tomato sauce acd throw it in the end, but I'll still eat something, maybe cucumber with hummus (?), so I won't have that breath, because when I have it, it tells my mother I didn't eat, and then she forces me, and then it's a binge session, for few good days, fucking horror.
Then, guitar, after guitar I'll sleep (or try, which reminds me to get some movies, so I will be able to stay up late after white night), before white night, I'll try to not eat, using the excuse of "there's food there", and there is, it's just that I won't eat it.
If I'll have too, it's not that bad, and I'll take a small bag with me to white night if I won't, an empty bottle with a bit of coke zero (my passion), and then I'll stay awake until I won't be able to function.
Then, I'll sleep on Saturday as much as possible, and rest, like I need to.
I just can't take it any longer.
The self hatred, focusing on the weaker spots, where that short while of self love never took care of.
Fucking hell.
I'm suffocated.
From excresises, that I can't be good enough, because I'm too heavy.
From psychotic choatic adults, like my parents, my teachers (not including the teacher for science, she's the most welcoming teacher ever, I don't think I'll bother listening at all in school), the fucking therpaist.
I hate her to bones.
Why do I have to talk and expose myself and lie and draw, all the things I like to keep to myself.
You don't see me scoffing food in other's necks because that's what I do during binge days.
So why should I let people see the drawings, that even I despise, and would like to burn.
I really hope I could get away from that demon as fast as I can.
I have a plan, to keep all that hell I was through, and burn it, at the first moment of my new life, away from here, away from the life-sucking vampires, known as politicians, and every little piece of the logic in this territory.
I don't want to feel you up.
I'm good at pinching my own fat and skin, knowing how disgusting it is, I don't want to feel skinny people.
Why people use my name in songs?!
What did I ever do wrong?
Why am I in depressing songs?
Or heartbreak/lovesongs?!
I blame the media.
Stupid music indursity, using shitty couples nicknames.
I hate the most that song, it used to be a hit, it's going like this "honey, everything honey, every morning I lie to myself again".
Everything honey, is a phrase, saying that you're happy, it's okay, it's fine.
DEPRESSION SINCE BIRTH.
FUCKING MUSIC.
And another thing, every single Rosh Hashana, I get confused and irritated, the insane amount of the word "honey" is being said, I can't concentrate.
I get crazy.
I don't know if somebody is talking to me, or talking about the food.
I want to shoot everybody.
Fucking religion.
I want to cut myself.
I think I'll do it.
I'll take some tissues, I got an hour.
...
I'm proud of myself.
I'm full.
I consumed only water, gum, russian coctail flavored energy drink (not sure if it's of Blu or Xl, I think it's Blu), and veggie burger.
With ketchup.
I'm full as fuck.
Why?
Watt's shows.
The fans, the players, the cows.
One guy that sat on the bench (the youth group of mexico as far as I can rememeber), suddenly, half of the guys who say covered their nose and pointed on another guy.
He farted.
His shame.
And the goalkeppers.
You just had to see them.
The backgoround music of the editors is just perfect.
There was one, and the music was "I'm just too drunk", and the man just failed.
Failed miserably.
And Rafael Nadal (or however it spelled), the best OCD tennis player.
His hillarious.
AND THE FANS.
Forty people, sitting together, and a bunch of guys holding a sign.
All of them wore batman costumes, and the sign said "#the batcave", I wish I could find you a photo, but I don't have one.
And the fans of the Tour De France.
Two guys in a sumo suit.
A banana suit.
An egg suit.
And the cows.
....
I nead half from the people there.
Including the stoned guy who airguitared in the middle of the tennis field.
And the sumos.
And the cows.
I need a ride for school.
....
AND WHAT I DID TODAY.
REBUANNA, JONATHAN.
GAL, SHIRA, YAEL, ME.
BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.
Okay, yesterday, I was volunteering for a trip with kids with CP.
I know, tragic.
But come on, they are so cool.
There was a...
STOP REMINDING ME A DEAD PERSON.
I SHOULDN'T WATCH AVION ROE'S WHO I AM, BUT I AM.
I'LL REGRET IT.
BUT I'LL REGRET DECIDING TO GET PREGANANT WHEN THE CONTRACTIONS WILL COME.
Well the day started with an "Excresise".
If you count a finger(s) movement with a nice rhyme as an excresise, then we excresised.
And after a short while, I went on the bus, and I was quite surprised to see Gal (the blonde-ginger tall guy, you know who I'm talking about), he told me he wasn't the only one who joined late.
MB DID TOO.
He had no idea how much I wanted to turn those sleeves red because he thought she's so nice, and normal.
I feel hurt.
Deeply hurt.
I got over it, we played together a bit on Balloon's battles.
Games slove problems and issues. Deal with it.
After we got there.
Shira, Yael, and I, went together to ask for a pairing, after all, we needed a kid to come with us, it's the whole point.
We got Jonathan at first.
And after a while, while we all (the tiny four group), sat together, we had Reubaenna in front of us, her girli went away, and we asked if we can be with her.
We fooled with our names with her.
She was surprised from my name.
A very long story short, it was the best.
At the way home, Gal sat with me again.
It ended with us going for ice cream after school on Friday.
....
3 heart symbols comment, got a response.
"Cancer"
I told you that the comments are the best.
LEARING TO FUCKING SPELL TORA.
Fucking teens.
Ruining the tweens.
THERE'S A WAY TO SPELL, AND THIS IS NOT ONE.
I smile, why?
I remember the comments.
When that girl wrote to that magazine that she wants posts and posters of "heavy metal bands" like Black Veil Brides, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens.
I can't feel half from my mouth, and the other is in pain.
Fucking joy.
Well, the comments on her post-request, the best thing ever.
You just can't hate people who make fun of others.
It's great.
...
I want to watch John Tucker Must Die.
But I don't feel like watching bunch of stupid girls being cheated on.
And I don't feel like eatching bunch of humans eating and staying thin.
I hate that I can't feel my mouth.
I have no idea if I'm bleeding or not.
And it happened me once.
It was so weird, I bit myself on the side of my tongue (the thick part, in the back of your mouth), and I assumed it was nothing.
I was drinking raspberry juice, and after I drank it, I saw pieces of unmixed dark red liquid, I assumed it was the concentrate.
It wasn't.
And that I figured out after three cups of juice.
I drank water to check it up.
I was bleeding.
It hurted for month or two.
I plan on cutting there.
It will be much better.
Easier to hide, and will make me not want to eat.
I'm awful.
My life is pretty good, considering it deeply, but I'm still that depressing stupid girl.
....
I like posting two days in one post.
...
FUCKING HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
CAN'T YOU JUST DECIDE WHO YOU ARE?!
AND YES I'M TALKING TO YOU.
YOU FUCKING SCALE.
DECIDE WHO YOU ARE!
I think I'm going to restrist again.
I just hate not knowing what I'm doing.
Well, tomorrow it's Friday.
I'll try my best.
I'll just stay in my room.
Well, it's after school, walking home (and on the morning, after no breakfast), at school I'll eat gum or something, I'll just put some rice with tomato sauce acd throw it in the end, but I'll still eat something, maybe cucumber with hummus (?), so I won't have that breath, because when I have it, it tells my mother I didn't eat, and then she forces me, and then it's a binge session, for few good days, fucking horror.
Then, guitar, after guitar I'll sleep (or try, which reminds me to get some movies, so I will be able to stay up late after white night), before white night, I'll try to not eat, using the excuse of "there's food there", and there is, it's just that I won't eat it.
If I'll have too, it's not that bad, and I'll take a small bag with me to white night if I won't, an empty bottle with a bit of coke zero (my passion), and then I'll stay awake until I won't be able to function.
Then, I'll sleep on Saturday as much as possible, and rest, like I need to.
I just can't take it any longer.
The self hatred, focusing on the weaker spots, where that short while of self love never took care of.
Fucking hell.
I'm suffocated.
From excresises, that I can't be good enough, because I'm too heavy.
From psychotic choatic adults, like my parents, my teachers (not including the teacher for science, she's the most welcoming teacher ever, I don't think I'll bother listening at all in school), the fucking therpaist.
I hate her to bones.
Why do I have to talk and expose myself and lie and draw, all the things I like to keep to myself.
You don't see me scoffing food in other's necks because that's what I do during binge days.
So why should I let people see the drawings, that even I despise, and would like to burn.
I really hope I could get away from that demon as fast as I can.
I have a plan, to keep all that hell I was through, and burn it, at the first moment of my new life, away from here, away from the life-sucking vampires, known as politicians, and every little piece of the logic in this territory.
I don't want to feel you up.
I'm good at pinching my own fat and skin, knowing how disgusting it is, I don't want to feel skinny people.
Why people use my name in songs?!
What did I ever do wrong?
Why am I in depressing songs?
Or heartbreak/lovesongs?!
I blame the media.
Stupid music indursity, using shitty couples nicknames.
I hate the most that song, it used to be a hit, it's going like this "honey, everything honey, every morning I lie to myself again".
Everything honey, is a phrase, saying that you're happy, it's okay, it's fine.
DEPRESSION SINCE BIRTH.
FUCKING MUSIC.
And another thing, every single Rosh Hashana, I get confused and irritated, the insane amount of the word "honey" is being said, I can't concentrate.
I get crazy.
I don't know if somebody is talking to me, or talking about the food.
I want to shoot everybody.
Fucking religion.
I want to cut myself.
I think I'll do it.
I'll take some tissues, I got an hour.
...
I'm proud of myself.
I'm full.
I consumed only water, gum, russian coctail flavored energy drink (not sure if it's of Blu or Xl, I think it's Blu), and veggie burger.
With ketchup.
I'm full as fuck.
...
Well, today is tomorrow, and I haven't eat yet.
I'm not planning to until eleven, then I'll make some professional vegan bread.
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