I thought I can.
I can't.
I fucking can't.
It's too funny.
I knew it will be hilarious, but come on!
IT IS N RUSSIAN.
YOU CANNOT EVEN THINK THAT IT'S ACCEPTABLE.
I HAVE TO LAUGH.
HE GOT STRAIGHT HAIR, BLACK HAIR, AND BLACK NAILPOLISH.
PEOPLE.
PLEASE.
Although, his hair striaghtness and fineness,reminds me of an adult, just that the adult I'm speaking about got brown-light brown-blonde streaks, natrual ones, beautiful person, bonus points for having a beard.
Stop with the Russian accent.
I'm going to burst.
WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BRA? AND WHY DO YOU HAVE SUNGLASSES.
THIS IS RUSSIA.
YOU DON'T HAVE "WARMTH" IN THERE.
You have an amazingly weird lifestyles.
And an incredible humor.
Why is his hair blonde?
I did not premit this.
I reject the hair.
I'm sorry, I can't stand black-brown and blonde.
His not natrually black.
Obvious.
I knew it by his eyebrows.
If you dye, dye all the way, don't bother making it look like, do it all the way.
WHY DID YOU THROW THEM AWAY.
PEOPLE WILL TEAR UP EACH OTHER FOR THEM.
THIS IS STUPID.
THIS IS RUSSIA.
I love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS-ej7MztWQ
That's the link, I was on a Suicide Room videoclip (not gay kiss, fight, or anything else scene, plain music video), and then it came, and I knew that there's no chance I'll miss it.
...
Today is tomorrow, and fuck you today.
I decided to cheer up as my stomach digests the ridiculously high amount of food I shoved into it (the waitress mentioned how little I ate, awkward, but it was too much!), I hear the funniest thing Yotube got.
And yes, one of the other songs of that funny Russian band.
Everybody who understands what the lyrics actually mean will be pissed at me because it's not a subject to laugh at it (lies, everything is funny, deal with it, think deeply about it, it's incredibley silly), and as far as I understand, the name is actually, emo sad love lonely.
That's actually getting deeply with my emotions.
Shame and joy.
I feel ashamed for them, and slightly for myself for laughing at it, and I'm enjoying, and right now, I actually understand how it looks for the people who don't get into that shit (throught the fifth and sixth grade, I blame everybody in Stips, fucking emotional bitches this is not hell, this is puberty!), we probably look like unhappy bastards.
Summed it up in two words, if it upsets you, cry into a bottle, I personally think you'd thank me later when you'll discover that they are a part in a voodoo r-word (yes, I am in fact fucking immature).
Oh no, I hope I'm not going to regret it.
I really hope I won't.
I put Metallica's Black, oh shit, I'm afraid.
Oh, better.
I thought they'll actually scream like beasts for the whole song.
I'm such a fool, I BLAME YOU STUPID FUCKTARD, FOR TELLING ME THAT THE METAL YOU HEAR IS BASICALLY SCREAMING AND SINGING AND GUITAR SOLOS, AND DRUM SOLOS, AND YOUR FRIEND WHO HEARS HEAVY METAL IS PRETTY MUCH METAL BUT MORE SCARY.
I was a second grader.
Fucking stupid since birth.
....
I guess I'll never stop beating myself over stuff.
Only rarely I'll tell myself I'm good, when I lose weight, when I achieve extraordinary things, when I fast, when I am confident, when I'm strong.
And even then..
I hate it, and the fact that I hate it about myself doesn't help.
Fucking great.
I'm still rude towards myself because I don't spell Mexico like the rest in Hebrew (I knew it when my mother told me after I mentioned that the writer wrote Mexico weirdly, but come on, when I write it you know exactly how the words sound, for me I write it the simple way, imagine, me writing mexico, the rest found a way to write meksiko, and I still feel awful), it doesn't make sense, because it's anyway a foreign word, it shouldn't matter, but still, I hated it.
It ruins my life.
Now I don't want to touch my caffe, I feel ashamed to take my freshly roasted altura.
At least it's not Indonesia, which sucks.
I came to click it, and I just freaked out and stopped!
WHAT THE HELL?!
I'm doing it now, no way it'll be a thing I'll be weak on.
I did it.
Did I just panic?
No?
Good, I don't want to be all freaky and shaking and paranoidic.
My over-thinking is enough for me, thanks.
I can't.
I fucking can't.
It's too funny.
I knew it will be hilarious, but come on!
IT IS N RUSSIAN.
YOU CANNOT EVEN THINK THAT IT'S ACCEPTABLE.
I HAVE TO LAUGH.
HE GOT STRAIGHT HAIR, BLACK HAIR, AND BLACK NAILPOLISH.
PEOPLE.
PLEASE.
Although, his hair striaghtness and fineness,reminds me of an adult, just that the adult I'm speaking about got brown-light brown-blonde streaks, natrual ones, beautiful person, bonus points for having a beard.
Stop with the Russian accent.
I'm going to burst.
WHY ARE YOU WEARING A BRA? AND WHY DO YOU HAVE SUNGLASSES.
THIS IS RUSSIA.
YOU DON'T HAVE "WARMTH" IN THERE.
You have an amazingly weird lifestyles.
And an incredible humor.
Why is his hair blonde?
I did not premit this.
I reject the hair.
I'm sorry, I can't stand black-brown and blonde.
His not natrually black.
Obvious.
I knew it by his eyebrows.
If you dye, dye all the way, don't bother making it look like, do it all the way.
WHY DID YOU THROW THEM AWAY.
PEOPLE WILL TEAR UP EACH OTHER FOR THEM.
THIS IS STUPID.
THIS IS RUSSIA.
I love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS-ej7MztWQ
That's the link, I was on a Suicide Room videoclip (not gay kiss, fight, or anything else scene, plain music video), and then it came, and I knew that there's no chance I'll miss it.
...
Today is tomorrow, and fuck you today.
I decided to cheer up as my stomach digests the ridiculously high amount of food I shoved into it (the waitress mentioned how little I ate, awkward, but it was too much!), I hear the funniest thing Yotube got.
And yes, one of the other songs of that funny Russian band.
Everybody who understands what the lyrics actually mean will be pissed at me because it's not a subject to laugh at it (lies, everything is funny, deal with it, think deeply about it, it's incredibley silly), and as far as I understand, the name is actually, emo sad love lonely.
That's actually getting deeply with my emotions.
Shame and joy.
I feel ashamed for them, and slightly for myself for laughing at it, and I'm enjoying, and right now, I actually understand how it looks for the people who don't get into that shit (throught the fifth and sixth grade, I blame everybody in Stips, fucking emotional bitches this is not hell, this is puberty!), we probably look like unhappy bastards.
Summed it up in two words, if it upsets you, cry into a bottle, I personally think you'd thank me later when you'll discover that they are a part in a voodoo r-word (yes, I am in fact fucking immature).
Oh no, I hope I'm not going to regret it.
I really hope I won't.
I put Metallica's Black, oh shit, I'm afraid.
Oh, better.
I thought they'll actually scream like beasts for the whole song.
I'm such a fool, I BLAME YOU STUPID FUCKTARD, FOR TELLING ME THAT THE METAL YOU HEAR IS BASICALLY SCREAMING AND SINGING AND GUITAR SOLOS, AND DRUM SOLOS, AND YOUR FRIEND WHO HEARS HEAVY METAL IS PRETTY MUCH METAL BUT MORE SCARY.
I was a second grader.
Fucking stupid since birth.
....
I guess I'll never stop beating myself over stuff.
Only rarely I'll tell myself I'm good, when I lose weight, when I achieve extraordinary things, when I fast, when I am confident, when I'm strong.
And even then..
I hate it, and the fact that I hate it about myself doesn't help.
Fucking great.
I'm still rude towards myself because I don't spell Mexico like the rest in Hebrew (I knew it when my mother told me after I mentioned that the writer wrote Mexico weirdly, but come on, when I write it you know exactly how the words sound, for me I write it the simple way, imagine, me writing mexico, the rest found a way to write meksiko, and I still feel awful), it doesn't make sense, because it's anyway a foreign word, it shouldn't matter, but still, I hated it.
It ruins my life.
Now I don't want to touch my caffe, I feel ashamed to take my freshly roasted altura.
At least it's not Indonesia, which sucks.
I came to click it, and I just freaked out and stopped!
WHAT THE HELL?!
I'm doing it now, no way it'll be a thing I'll be weak on.
I did it.
Did I just panic?
No?
Good, I don't want to be all freaky and shaking and paranoidic.
My over-thinking is enough for me, thanks.
...
Okay, today we had some thing you can call it a play, you can call it a lecture, you can call it a playful lecture, or the opposite.
But in there, some weird things happened.
Let's start with the slightly more sane one.
They kept repeating the each person is a gift to the world, as I thought that I'm a curse, I found what's kind of a gift I was.
Pandora.
Pandora held all the bad things in the world, yet it's still a gift.
It took me ten minutes to figure how can I find a good way to describe it.
And the second one.
As Chubbs walked in front of me, I didn't stopped looking at her body, then mine, her again, mine again, comparing, knowing that she's probably thinner than me (logically and physically it's a lie, mentally and emotionally, truth), and I started breathing shallow short breaths, and when I tried to calm down I couldn't breath normally, I just stopped for a while.
Then breathed again.
After a while, I just tried to dig my nails in the other hand's flesh.
It left two nail marks for ten minutes.
It was weird.
I never experienced something like that.
You guys should watch out.
I might be contagious.
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