Blood

It's six a.m. and all I can think about is pain. 

Not to make myself have it, I'm not in that mood, espacially after my afternoon wonderful kind of joy, I felt it because things just worked the right way, because my life isn't that shitty, and I could to see it brightly then. 

But for real, now all I can do is to lie down in some weird \_ while my head is on the top of \ if you understand. 

I'm in pain from the fact that I haven't pooped much since few days ago, because it's fucking painful. 

It's sharp and hard. 

I don't remember eating glass.

And I have a feeling that I'll see blood. 

And not neccessarily my period blood. 

That physically hurts. 

Well, and if that wasn't enough. 

I started to think about my hatred and fear towards apples, only with thinking about it my stomach reacted and decided to hurt me. 

A lot. 

I'm going to the bathroom. 

Something good should happen. 

...

Nothing happened. 

I feel like there's something in me but it won't come out. 

It sucks. 

Something that sucks slightly more?

The fact that I said to myself last night that I won't weirdo myself. 

I did anyway. 

I was 48, after no pooping and eating a watermelon. 

It's really fun to be in the around fifty but actually in the forties. 

I wasn't in the forties since the fifth/fourth grade. 

I still hate puberty. 

I know I won't grow taller, or at least I won't grow quickly taller, probably 1 cm or so in a year, which is nothing. 

I'm soon over with my period, I can see that it's leaving. 

It stayed weak all throught the week. 

It's suprising. 

I don't know if for better or worse or what does it even mean. 

I'm starting to develop a healthy relationship with food. 

And with healthy I mean, I won't devour it like a maniac, and I won't avoid it like the plague. 

Means, I'd enjoy it when necessary but I won't act unnatrualy with it. 

I noticed I did so yesterday. 

I ate without guilt. 

The only thing that involved something with the eaten food is the pain after eating before practice. 

But that's all. 

I'm currently healthy, vegan, athletic, hormonal, blog writer whos about to celebrate their thirteenth year around the sun. 

My lip is bleeding. 

I didn't felt it until I sucked y lip inside and felt a weird cold liquid. 

My lip blood tastes sour and slightly salty. 

Weird. 

My blood usually is sweet. 

I wonder why is that. 

I don't know how I got here. 

But maybe it might help my hearing music problem. 

I'm now hearing a song named "lolly", with Maerjor Ali and Juicy J and Justin Bieber. 

Before it was Miley Cyrus and some others in a song named 23. 

And before it was a song with Katy perry and juicy J it was Egyptian themed. 

And the first one was lady gaga's G.U.Y. 

I haven't heard many names in that area. 

It's not weird, because many don't know. 

But it's like I'm outside my area. 

And my area I mean that most chances that I'll have a suggestion for a video about a confession of a murderer or so. 

Most of time I just hear some creepypasta tribute or some nightcore (usually what I do on YouTube, the rest of the music is on my iTunes, or in a radio that fits), but it's so weird. 

I got to the simlish area. 

And I just can't understand how it went "hey [insert name] it's the sims people, we'd like you to perform a song in our game", the other side "can't you just download it and talk to our managers and lawyers", "we'd like you to perfom it in simlish", and then they put the people and with their weird lyrics, and magic happens. 

I never saw somebody films Fun. Or Lady Anteblum (close enough), or My chemical romance, or Lilly Allen (close as well), but I did see Katy perry!

Now, after soulja boy, and bel biv devoe, and dr dre, now, it the Beatles. 

I personally think that Twist and Shout is hilarious. 

SHAKING IT BABY SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE SHAKING A BABY WHICH IS ILLEGAL AND IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE. 

I can actually hear the fact that they couldn't perform many times because the fans screamed louder than the speakers that were available. 

This is pure magic. 

I hear Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. 

Known to be the song that probably just showed their use in drugs. 

LSD. 

Which is never a bad thing...

The only thing I actually wonder about. 

What the fuck did they take when they made I am the Walrus.