So, weekend.
Today is definitely going to be crappy because of the day schedule.
We got literature for our first period.
And we got Hebrew to be our last period.
Okay, today was bad in a different way.
Literture passed quickly and weirdly, same about Moresht, it was okay and we talked about anti-semtism and other types of hatred towards Jews.
On sports we had both periods of volleyball, which was okay, at the first period I was more in confusion, from my previous reading about depression and anti-depressants [I'd explain later] and my allergies, but at the second I got better because I was very anxious, I felt like I'm ruining the game for the whole team because of my holed butterfingers.
On the last period, it was fairly quiet and nice, usually I'd start with a bit of headaches, but now it was calm and nice.
Maya asked for a ride back home and I gave her one.
I'm coughing like crazy.
Fucking allergies.
I got at least my medication back, it works pretty good after a week or two with the Aerius [Desloratadine], but now it's not it, the new one works after a day or two.
You know what? I'm watching now a documentary about the Abarbanel institution and how awful it is, and I'm fucking thankful for it.
From several reasons.
I'm not there.
I won't be there [forcefully or unwillingly]
I won't be there [willingly for damn good reasons].
I haven't suffered such treatment [sure, some stuff pissed me off and annoyed me, but it wasn't as frequent and it had a really good reason, and an actual point.]
Oh, I missed that fucker, Omri sent me a message.
Last time he wrote something was a couple of days ago and he said "ah waaayyyyy [prnounced like "why"] I bought a new knife and it cuts real hard!"
I replied him with "[a word used for appraising and mentioning a new object bought or received of someone]. I went to a psychiatrist that I demanded to go to, he told me I'm depressed and anxious, and that I were like that for two years or so, and I had no clue."
His response: "Really? I know I was depressed since the day I was born I'm always sad and I never smile."
Since his not the type I can seriously tell him that it's not that easy and he should check it up and explain him all the shit I've found out about it.
I told him "You should check yourself up, and ask him what he thinks so you won't be stuck like I was."
I also asked him to log in tomorrow at morning-noon.
He didn't reply yet.
So anti-depressants, I'll probably have the 10 mg at first of Prizma [Fluoxetine; Prozac] and if that won't help, it'll be increased.
I don't worry because Eden took it too and she said it really helps, especially with the suicidal thoughts.
I'm not really worried now about the fact that I'm likely to have "depression episodes" at adulthood, isn't it fucking obvious that people get depressed at adulthood?
Well, thanks to other given facts, fifth of the teenagers are depressed, so I'm not alone because there are plenty like me [even though that it's quite weird for me because I'm not depressed, it seems like such a big word now, I'm a bit blue, pale blue if you'd like.] And I'm not alone because I know exactly another one that's alike me. [Eden.]
And I know another one who might have a clue, which is Michael.
So, yesterday I wrote about the fact that the doc thinks that my parents shouldn't have released me from there.
He said that it's not okay that I'm not even staying at home.
I don't know if everybody is like that, but if I stay too long at home when I'm in a really shitty mood and am blue and "depressed", I'm going to have harder time going back and being able to function.
I'd be in too much calmness and free of everything that's awful that going back to the rough and straining everyday life would be too much to take.
So I have to fight it in order to not lose the things I love and need, because if I'd lose them, I'd be drowning in a sea of misery.
Today is definitely going to be crappy because of the day schedule.
We got literature for our first period.
And we got Hebrew to be our last period.
Okay, today was bad in a different way.
Literture passed quickly and weirdly, same about Moresht, it was okay and we talked about anti-semtism and other types of hatred towards Jews.
On sports we had both periods of volleyball, which was okay, at the first period I was more in confusion, from my previous reading about depression and anti-depressants [I'd explain later] and my allergies, but at the second I got better because I was very anxious, I felt like I'm ruining the game for the whole team because of my holed butterfingers.
On the last period, it was fairly quiet and nice, usually I'd start with a bit of headaches, but now it was calm and nice.
Maya asked for a ride back home and I gave her one.
I'm coughing like crazy.
Fucking allergies.
I got at least my medication back, it works pretty good after a week or two with the Aerius [Desloratadine], but now it's not it, the new one works after a day or two.
You know what? I'm watching now a documentary about the Abarbanel institution and how awful it is, and I'm fucking thankful for it.
From several reasons.
I'm not there.
I won't be there [forcefully or unwillingly]
I won't be there [willingly for damn good reasons].
I haven't suffered such treatment [sure, some stuff pissed me off and annoyed me, but it wasn't as frequent and it had a really good reason, and an actual point.]
Oh, I missed that fucker, Omri sent me a message.
Last time he wrote something was a couple of days ago and he said "ah waaayyyyy [prnounced like "why"] I bought a new knife and it cuts real hard!"
I replied him with "[a word used for appraising and mentioning a new object bought or received of someone]. I went to a psychiatrist that I demanded to go to, he told me I'm depressed and anxious, and that I were like that for two years or so, and I had no clue."
His response: "Really? I know I was depressed since the day I was born I'm always sad and I never smile."
Since his not the type I can seriously tell him that it's not that easy and he should check it up and explain him all the shit I've found out about it.
I told him "You should check yourself up, and ask him what he thinks so you won't be stuck like I was."
I also asked him to log in tomorrow at morning-noon.
He didn't reply yet.
So anti-depressants, I'll probably have the 10 mg at first of Prizma [Fluoxetine; Prozac] and if that won't help, it'll be increased.
I don't worry because Eden took it too and she said it really helps, especially with the suicidal thoughts.
I'm not really worried now about the fact that I'm likely to have "depression episodes" at adulthood, isn't it fucking obvious that people get depressed at adulthood?
Well, thanks to other given facts, fifth of the teenagers are depressed, so I'm not alone because there are plenty like me [even though that it's quite weird for me because I'm not depressed, it seems like such a big word now, I'm a bit blue, pale blue if you'd like.] And I'm not alone because I know exactly another one that's alike me. [Eden.]
And I know another one who might have a clue, which is Michael.
So, yesterday I wrote about the fact that the doc thinks that my parents shouldn't have released me from there.
He said that it's not okay that I'm not even staying at home.
I don't know if everybody is like that, but if I stay too long at home when I'm in a really shitty mood and am blue and "depressed", I'm going to have harder time going back and being able to function.
I'd be in too much calmness and free of everything that's awful that going back to the rough and straining everyday life would be too much to take.
So I have to fight it in order to not lose the things I love and need, because if I'd lose them, I'd be drowning in a sea of misery.
So, good night, enjoy the weekend.
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