Red white & black coat boy

I feel so low these days.
What I'm having could be worst.
I can try to tell you my day with my -not really good- writing skills.

***
I woke to dim shouts of my family and a loud thunder.
I was quite surprised that my music didn't stayed, when I check my phone I founded a fainted phone that stayed all night for my calm night.
At school the first thing I saw was a short hair boy with huge puffy red-white-&-black coat that I know mostly as my love.
I looked at this same boy doing what he always do - his late homework.
At the first two hours my sit in school replaced to one table behind you.
I felt like in heaven. In the garden, with the forbidden fruit; I can take you, but it would be wrong.
After you even listened to me and I felt like an angel blow me a kiss of hope directly to my heart.
I came home and wanted to cry. When you not around me - you're not mine anymore.
Outside you have a girlfriend that is considered better then me, prettier, taller, smarter, sexier. Everything that make him love her.
***

So I tried to cut today with sharper things like knives that really sharp and the sharpest tool is the same tool I always used.
I'm so depressed.
I wish I had someone that I know but don't know. I mean that someone that help me and understand me but don't tell or know the reason I'm depressed.
There are so many shades and colors in me when I speak English.
If the one that I need be -at least- my friend again and help me without knowing the reason I'll be complete. I felt so hard for our friendship and for him.

I found 2 penguins already.
One from best friend camp (Gal) and that one that best guy friend (my love).
Sometime I wish I could found the elixir of Cassie and Adam.

I wish I had him back but like in the scene or book page that I wrote last post.

I am so amazed from dreams. It's like in avatar (the blue guys) that when they "sleep" in the machine they waking to another charter like a new universe.

I'm not like people think I am.
I'm twice deeper.
Like a pool. As more you get more in you see new things and found I'm deeper.

I want to bleed fatness.
So low price.
With to good sided; losing fat and bleeding.


Take a glass of juice or water and read this quietly (or loudly)
"I want to give this cup a meaning, that like this juice get into my throat that how the love get into my heart. Cheers"

Love and live
Forgive and forget
Thank and think.
(Without the second things)