Wishes & hopes

*Yesterday*

I wish one day someone break your heart (my love's heart) and you'll feel just like me.
I wish more that one day I'll be able to console you.
I wish the most that one day that I console you and you'll be heart broken and you'll ask "that's how you felt?" And I'll say "yes but not at the first time, one year later when you had a girlfriend" and you'll cry and say barely breathing "I'm so sorry".

But I will always hope that no one feel like this.
Specially not you and I'll need to watch and know.

"Remember that one time Yali want that she and her boyfriend wanted that we dance with them?"
"Mmhmmh..." You said with small breath you had to stop before you'll cry.
"And remember when the dancing teacher needed to find you a partner and everyone pointed at me?"
"Yes.."
"Do you also remember that you cried?"
"Sorry..."
"It's okay but remember that everyone have it. It's another part of life."
I've decided that's the time to show him my wrist, the only way you'll understand that I'm here.
"You see those? Those are my scars."
"I caused you this?" You gasped and whined.
"Not really. The only see you caused..." I lift more my sweatshirt to my elbow an showed him when he knock me down after I slapped him.
"I remember" you said, smiling and rubbing hand on you right cheek where I slapped you long time ago.
"Those are I caused because I had so pain."
"Because of me..." You blamed again yourself.
"No!" I can't tell him it's really him.
"I did it! I did it! - not you! Not you." I yelled.
"Do you remember my eyes look?"
"Yes? But they are just like now..." You stopped and gasped again
"Who is it?"
"You." I whispered so quietly, hoping no one will here.
You looked up again and try to figure my face expression, while I tried yours.
"Really?" You whisper a little louder.
I blushed and the heat get to my ears and cheeks.
"Yes"
"How?" You talked in normal voice again.
"What how?"
"How can you love me after I did you all of this" he grabbed my arm and pointed in my scars.
"I don't know, it's my heart not my brain."
"Don't you hate me?!"
"I did… sorta , I keep saying that I'm in love with someone I hate an I hate someone I'm in love with."
He laughed embarrassed.
"Do you want to make a voodoo doll of the someone who broke your heart?" I asked amused from the idea of hurting someone.
"Not really. I want to be with her."
"Let's go for...?"
You looked in my eyes and closed your face any moment closer. You kissed me and I let myself do whatever I want.
I put my right arm on his hair and the left on his neck.


I wish you'll read this.
Or maybe I'll have the balls to show you this.