Longer

I really like all of those comments!
They are really funny, and serious, but then the comments for their comment, the whole almost 800 main comments and and around 300-400 comments for the main ones, it together created over 1100 comments!

Who is that wonderful writer that shocked the interentet media?
She's some female who wasn't very Jewish, but then she decided she found god and now is on the crazier side of Judaism.
And thats cool for her and shit, but I don't like one of her sentences.
Why?
Because she lives in my fucking city!
I don't want her to live here!
So what if she have all the rights to live here?
Does it mean that it's totally fine with me the over taking?!
You know it's terrifying me.
When I searched about the atheistic movement in Israel, it was a pretty small, obivously, every sane person would run away from Israel as fast as he can, but they won't, I don't know why, but they won't.
Well, they talk a lot about the religous and the overly tight connection to te country, and the over taking.
But when I looked up on the city names list, I checked up a few that are already known as "their" place, and then I saw something I didn't want to see, my city.

Gladly, few years from now, and bye bye Israel, because I'm not willing to stay in here.
Actually, who will want to come here and "Support" (send money) his "Jewish brothers" (people who take your money and waste it for the name of "God", and that "God" is probably a prostitute).
I fly away.
The things I like and can become a job, won't make me earn enough for living.
And it was -and is- proven, that outside that hole of garbage, there is enough, and way more, because this money will be enough for family, a nice house or apartment, and for vacation, and the best, is that you can enjoy what you do.
Here? not really.

Wow, They got pretty successfull!
I'm really proud of them!
Seriously!
Two or three of my friends are Directioners (I believe that this is how you spell it), and they made up a facebook page, where they do the shit they like, and one direction related topics, and I think that for a beginner with a plenty of people that do the same as you, 117 likes are pretty good!

I would make one, but I shouldn't.
Why?
Well, my dad put some spying on facebook thingy in my laptop, and I can't, so this is why I'm blogging here more than ever.
Because I have no other option!
Though, I would love to make friends with young people like me, that are stuck in this hole.
Sadly, I have no idea where I can go.
I should just start making a web, and somehow, slowly, people will get into it.
Why?
I don't know.
But you are working the same.
I opened a blog, and somehow people came reading.
And now I have a bunch of people that find my blog worth reading!
I should bake a cake to celebrate, but I hate cakes.
So...
I would enjoy a bowl of soup this evening!
I made a tomato soup that is incredbile!
And truly enjoyable with some bread, I wish I had some of the homemade!

Guys I'm so fucking excited.
There's a huge chance that today I'm going to watch the movie!
I truly hope so!

I really want to go to that movie...
Actually, who wouldn't?

Fuck.
Why today  can't my mother do anything.
Seriously, most perfect day to go there.
Because the other days are harder.

Okay, what the fuck parents want from their kids?
Why all of my friends have an unmissable family dinner on Fridays!
YOUR FUCKING FAMILY WON'T DIE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T EAT WITH THEM!
This is a friendsip killer.

All those family and their stupid meals.


Okay, coolest theatere room choice ever!
Somebody should thank the picker because the seats line are in the same number of districts!
AND THERE IS PLACE FOR THREE IN THE THIRTEENTH ONE!
Holy crap, this is brillaint!


Fuck, really shitty.
Why do your couisins think it's the exact great timing to come visit you when WE NEED TO WATCH THAT DAMN MOVIE?!
Fuck you Britian and the British relatives of my friends, seriously.


Really bitch? Really?
Are you kidding me?
You go without even considering telling me, and telling every fucking body but me, and now you join?!
I don't say it often, but, special events require special words.
I really hate you, your innocence bullshit of "oh I'm so pure hearted and innocnet"! How pure can you be after preety much backstabbing the girl who asked up you and him to go to the first movie anyway.
You are a bunch a lies packed up in a human form.
I don't give a shit about your stress and unending anixety, you just stomped my heart along with the other monster.

Ugh!
When will people understand that it's not fucking okay to do so?!
It's even not some kind of unwritted rule, because it's so fucking obivous!

And people wonder why I hate so many things...
TRUST ISSUES ARE RECREATED ENDLESSLY IN MY LIFE.
That's it.


...


I LOST ALL OF THEM!
You have no idea how furustrating is it to lose all of your piercings!
WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY HIDING?!
Where did I put them?
Why I am such a good hider?!
I should work in the Army, no matter how secretive the information is, even if I'll be forced to tell the secrets, I won't, because I won't remember them anyway!

...

I'm sick of being all upset becasue that my parents are spoling my brother and treating me like I'm worthless, so yes they probably don't doing with intention to do it (or they are, but it doesn't matter anymore), but it hurts, it's just lies combined, wanting to me to be "healed" and sending me to a therapy (that by now never worked, because, guess what? Still wants to bleed, the only difference is that I'm denying what I want to do), and they don't really care.
I'm sick of getting punished with a stupid time outs or shit, it was easier when she just beated us up.
It just makes me sit, looking at my fat body, seeing that I have potential, and telling me that I don't need food, and then wishing how it looked, inside my head I can already see me, struggling to not scream, because of the pain of bloody hips, because this is what I deserve.
Instead, I just sit in my bed, writing my soul out, with some a painting that looked much better on that guy's chest as a tattoo printed with some crappy printer and A4 paper, and trying to keep myself warm.

How funny.
The monster hates herself.


I really want to die.
My mom is too dramatic to be a parent.
My head screams to me that I should kill myself.
My body says to avoid cutting, and so does my brain, because extanding my therapy is not an option.
And my computer says "relax".
And I listen to them all.
On my bed, instead of the beanbags, because less then one meter from my beanbag, there's my backpack, with the razor in the pencil case.
Which I'm not going to get close to, not now, I don't want to get to a therapy and extra support groups, which anyway we'll do shit we are not supposed to do.
And since I'm relaxing and still want to die, I hear "Don't You Worry Child" of Swedish House Mafia.

Great.
Just great.
Because right now.
I'm celebrating the holiday.
Of the one year anniversary, because I don't remember the exact date, but this holiday is it.
And on that holiday.
Self harm began.
How fucking fabolous, because right now, that bottle of glue seems tempting.

....


WHAT THE FUCK JAPAN?!
Hanako of the Toilet?!
WHAT THE FUCK?!
DO YOU WANT ME TO GET A HEART ATTACK?!
This is way to creepy!
Just search for it's trailer and you'll understnad.


Well, this is another end of the day.

Goodbye or Goodnight, I'm not so sure anymore, because sleeping isn't real anymore...

Berries, Survivors,
I hope you'll make it.