Today, Wednesday, I'm restarting.
Kind of anyway.
I'm starting with the fourth day, I'm not going from the beginning, I'm not a fool.
But I have to continue.
If I'll stop, it means I'll fail, I'll gain weight, I'll be depressed, I'll fail in school, I'll binge endlessly, I won't fit into my clothes, I'll have a big chance to be forced to leave my class.
I don't want this to happen.
I want to defeat it, to win, to succeed, to loose weight, to be happy, to be smart, to be normal, to fit into smaller sizes, to stay in the class and become an athelthic girl.
I can't be it, with all that fat.
I'm so thin undermeath it.
I'm half sad half happy.
It's not fair.
When our teacher said that in our (kid-tween-legally a teen), it's mostly black and white, no in betweens.
After a while I notcied how right she is, but now?
What am I supposed to do now?
...
I'm seriously going to murder some kids.
Oh why is this happening?!
Not only that my tap-tap 4 dissapear end forever (with the three songs it had), but with the enormous amount of times that I heard Sing in twenty minutes is driving me crazy.
You people, annoy me.
And stop singing it!
Do whatever you want, songs that don't have any side effects on me anymore, I'm used to you old songs, I can't block 50 new at a time.
Soon, the only music I'll be able to hear without being in constant pain, will be Ajad's.
They are overtaking what's left.
I can't stand them.
Gladly it's Wednesday.
...
I'm n pain.
Why am I in pain that's worth mentioning it?
Because I fucking binged, and I'm not willing to purge, and my stomach is about to overload and do it naturally for me .
I was in the bathroom.
Quick bowel movement.
I think that I just can't digest gluten or dairy.
It's not that if I'll test it, no matter how much I'll eat it, it will say I'm not allergic.
Well, of course I can't be allergic to something my body can't understand.
I told my mother no more dairy and gluten and those things for me.
Guys, I'm in incredible pain right now.
It's slowly fading away.
Good.
It's not fair, my body should be able to digest those devils, great, my body can't digest anything but vitamins, and protein, all the rest doesn't matter.
It's just letting the rest realese like corn.
Undigested and hurting you anus.
....
I think I need to get a nice surgery knife.
Sharp one, so it won't hurt that much, and won't bleed so much as well, only so I could cut deep enough to my stomach, I can't stand those pains.
....
I think Israel should get a prize.
Israel is the only place where people die all the time, and every single teen did something illegal.
I stole multiple times.
And drank.
Only what was left, but it was enough, at least in my eighteenth birthday I won't die from alcohol poisoning, if I will, it might be earlier.
Lately a casino made by teens for teens was shut down by the police, now we have teens with gambeling problems.
The story of the raped thirteener girl by the large amount of teens from males in the ages of 12-17.
Good for them, you just fucked up all of your families life.
Have fun with that dear.
And the girl is stupid, there's a reason why you stay with a friends you trust, with a phone, and you odn't drink alcohol.
What can I say, stupidity filled the country.
And it's giving so many annoying feministic waves.
Don't they understand that they never matter.
Nobody cares about your rights.
Why should they anyway?
Nobody cares for the homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders and alike more, though in each fucking parade they have somebody dies.
Nobody cares.
I'm trying to rememebr more scenarios, but I can't.
Wait, I know.
NOBODY GIVES A LITTLE SHIT WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY CHILDREN AND TEENS, THAT WERE KICKED OUT FROM THEIR HOUSE.
WHY?
Those kids were affecting badly on their brothers and sisters, the little shameful sinners.
Oh, what will they do.
Nobody cares about them.
Why nobody can see them.
The children of the street.
Each generation is trying it's best to make the new one better.
They do all the opposite of what their parents ever did.
Now we are all shitty people, and in a few good years, I belive, the system will crash.
I'm willing to help to ruin it all.
Only if I'll dominate the land.
I'm a good ruler, try me.
....
NO!
NO WAY.
WHY NOW?
OH, JUST TOO MUCH.
TRYING TO CUT EMOTIONAL EATING, AND AT NIGHT BEING OVERDOSED.
Maybe a normal averge person will say it's a normal amount of hormones and chemicals sent from your brain, but for me nothing normal in the body, I'm always in the higher tempertures, you can't tell if I'm sick or not.
Well, guess what song?
The song, that as far as I can remember, kind of got me down that way.
It's Paramore's Decode.
The same song I've heard in class, because of my friend.
I got curious, and watchedm Twilight.
Ever since there, I think you know it.
Oh, I miss her.
But I know how she'll get me back.
She always wanted to be good like her sister, an artist, she knows how to sing, and her photography is magnificent.
What about a little dark-skinned skinny model, who can create her beautiful films?
Hopefuly it.
...
A new chain message.
I need to read it in my heart as it said, because god told him to say it tom me.
Amusing that it's about god fogiving about the sins.
...
Well, I'm looking now for digestable recipes (won't stop until I won't be in pain, that even after two hours stay), and the first one was some sort of Argentinian steak.
Why am I in pain that's worth mentioning it?
Because I fucking binged, and I'm not willing to purge, and my stomach is about to overload and do it naturally for me .
I was in the bathroom.
Quick bowel movement.
I think that I just can't digest gluten or dairy.
It's not that if I'll test it, no matter how much I'll eat it, it will say I'm not allergic.
Well, of course I can't be allergic to something my body can't understand.
I told my mother no more dairy and gluten and those things for me.
Guys, I'm in incredible pain right now.
It's slowly fading away.
Good.
It's not fair, my body should be able to digest those devils, great, my body can't digest anything but vitamins, and protein, all the rest doesn't matter.
It's just letting the rest realese like corn.
Undigested and hurting you anus.
....
I think I need to get a nice surgery knife.
Sharp one, so it won't hurt that much, and won't bleed so much as well, only so I could cut deep enough to my stomach, I can't stand those pains.
....
I think Israel should get a prize.
Israel is the only place where people die all the time, and every single teen did something illegal.
I stole multiple times.
And drank.
Only what was left, but it was enough, at least in my eighteenth birthday I won't die from alcohol poisoning, if I will, it might be earlier.
Lately a casino made by teens for teens was shut down by the police, now we have teens with gambeling problems.
The story of the raped thirteener girl by the large amount of teens from males in the ages of 12-17.
Good for them, you just fucked up all of your families life.
Have fun with that dear.
And the girl is stupid, there's a reason why you stay with a friends you trust, with a phone, and you odn't drink alcohol.
What can I say, stupidity filled the country.
And it's giving so many annoying feministic waves.
Don't they understand that they never matter.
Nobody cares about your rights.
Why should they anyway?
Nobody cares for the homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders and alike more, though in each fucking parade they have somebody dies.
Nobody cares.
I'm trying to rememebr more scenarios, but I can't.
Wait, I know.
NOBODY GIVES A LITTLE SHIT WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY CHILDREN AND TEENS, THAT WERE KICKED OUT FROM THEIR HOUSE.
WHY?
Those kids were affecting badly on their brothers and sisters, the little shameful sinners.
Oh, what will they do.
Nobody cares about them.
Why nobody can see them.
The children of the street.
Each generation is trying it's best to make the new one better.
They do all the opposite of what their parents ever did.
Now we are all shitty people, and in a few good years, I belive, the system will crash.
I'm willing to help to ruin it all.
Only if I'll dominate the land.
I'm a good ruler, try me.
....
NO!
NO WAY.
WHY NOW?
OH, JUST TOO MUCH.
TRYING TO CUT EMOTIONAL EATING, AND AT NIGHT BEING OVERDOSED.
Maybe a normal averge person will say it's a normal amount of hormones and chemicals sent from your brain, but for me nothing normal in the body, I'm always in the higher tempertures, you can't tell if I'm sick or not.
Well, guess what song?
The song, that as far as I can remember, kind of got me down that way.
It's Paramore's Decode.
The same song I've heard in class, because of my friend.
I got curious, and watchedm Twilight.
Ever since there, I think you know it.
Oh, I miss her.
But I know how she'll get me back.
She always wanted to be good like her sister, an artist, she knows how to sing, and her photography is magnificent.
What about a little dark-skinned skinny model, who can create her beautiful films?
Hopefuly it.
...
A new chain message.
I need to read it in my heart as it said, because god told him to say it tom me.
Amusing that it's about god fogiving about the sins.
...
Well, I'm looking now for digestable recipes (won't stop until I won't be in pain, that even after two hours stay), and the first one was some sort of Argentinian steak.
I used to like steaks, but nobody can make them edible, and I always end up almost choking because of some large piece.
But 'Argentinian', Gal the tall blonde guy have Argentinian roots.
...
It's bed time, I'm looking for digestible recipes while trying to fall asleep so I will be able to wake up early enough for few minutes of some movie (it took me three days to watch a short movie, was worth it).
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