Hey guys, I'm now walking my way for ram.
It missed the bus and I like doing it anyway, so why not?
So, I'm going to explain (if I never did before) how my binge/restrict cycle works.
For few days I'm doing really good, super good, and I think I got it.
After a while, my mother complains that I'm not eating enough, in any form, then I'm starting to binge again, after a longer while, I'm starting again.
And the cure also leads to the trigger.
Not fair.
...
Okay it's before we need to get to the lessons or whatever they'll make for us.
But, I would be late if something that if not timing, I would be screwed.
I walked in the street, in the same route for school, but then suddenly, I heard somebody calling my name.
From the cars.
And it was quite surprising.
It was the vegan-musician teacher.
He offered me a ride -that obviously, I accepted- and he asked me if I'm excited for the new semester, I said that I do, and he said great, here some dark music to celebrate with.
He switiched a station and a band named Nosei Hamigbaat, was on.
He explanied about them.
It was weird, but good, I guess.
Something, different, and new.
....
I'm home.
I wanted to say something that I saw yesterday.
I FOUND A SCALE.
UMM HMM.
OH YEAH.
HAPPY DANCING AND WEIRD MOVEMENTS.
I FOUND A S-C-A-L-E.
Not digital, a normal one, the doctor's one, or the ones from the movies.
Ye-fucking-ah.
I feel so wonderful about it!
Like some electric angel came and kissed me.
I love you too angel.
...
I'm after the practice, I'm happy but I'm angry.
Why?
I'm happy because I ran 1 km!
Yay!
I can do it.
And soon I will be able to do more.
Irena told me I can go with Yael's runs.
So I will be able to do it, and I'll have company, she'll be happy and so will I.
And I'm angry because I binged, now I smell like chocolate.
I always thought the chocolate smelled bad.
But the flavor was good.
Well, I guess I never learn from mistakes unless I'm truly afraid.
After all, the best way to dominate powerfuly, is with fear.
Make them be able to question your ideas, and they will.
...
I want to buy it tomorrow (and I know it's quick, but Ii got no time anyway).
The more fear I can have, the better.
The need to be dominated, controlled, comes from fear.
You're afraid you don't know what to do, you'd rather put your life in somebody else's hands, in something that will make you focus on something else.
...
I'm deleting now some of my older iPhone photos.
Along with liars faces, and amusing online posts.
Like the girl who asked from the magazine to but metal in their pages.
I still thing the same.
NO.
DON'T YOU DARE TO RUIN IT TO ME.
It requies too much energy anyway.
I can't concentrate with the music I love in the background.
Today, we played Mao.
And the circus guys looked for music for their show, so every once in a while there was music.
They played Green Day's Boulverd of Broken Dreams.
I first heard it over then two years ago, learning one of my first songs on the Guitar, ever since I can't do anything but to remember what to do with my hands and what chords.
Music fucked me up.
And I hate every single person who can't take a normal profile photo.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR GENDER.
And you need to be as twice as careful when you have both-gender name.
Fuck you Daniel, it's a both gender name, and the semi-duck-face/oh-I'm-so-mysterious-face you have on, under your gray hoodie and you brown-black thich bangs.
EVERYBODY HAVE THOSE BANGS NOW.
COME FUCKING ON.
THIS IS 2014.
FEMINISTS STILL THINK THAT WE GIVE A SHIT, SO THEY DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.
GUYS STILL RAPE AS A PUNISHMENT.
IT'S NOT HELPING AT ALL.
And the fact that one comment is (and I obviously quote) "Hahahahaha* you ass eatres put some deathcore posters of suicide silence, make them suffef, the korea yeah right bi vi bi haha pierce the gay".
*May be more ha than writtem
And the second is "Beary *heart-eyed-emoji*"
You confuse me.
It's more a guy thing to call everybody else gay/fag/homo/another avilable nickname, but heart emoticons are more for cheesy couples/best friends/obssesed fans/basically every teen girl.
Not fair.
Though, lately girls do it too.
Every girl who dresses/acts like a guy is automatically a lesbian.
Appearntly, as far as I know, I was lesbian before I even entered puberty.
Cool.
I won at the I know my sexual prefrences before you race.
I talk about it mostly because my friend, Daniella, have a friend that it quite annoys her that there's a rumor that her best friend is a lesbian.
I dress up exactly like her friend.
...
I don't know what I feel about this.
I just saw the overly-used "Dream is a wish that your heart makes"
When I was eight, I had a dream about being in a theater with the greek gods, watching the world crumbling down while Zeus and Haddas are near me, and we are all cheering happily with large popcorn in our hands.
And when I was nine I had a dream that I died in.
I have a really good reason why 14 is the year when the teenagerhood begins.
In chinese, fourteen sounds like yao sie, which means want death.
Have fun with being fourteen.
Another quote,
A life without:
-Worrying
-Sadness
-Evil
-Pain
Doesn't exist-
Therefore, I'd rather be dead.
Now, tell me exactly how I'm supposed to defeat my enemies and rule the world.
I have a really good plan that includes being a doctor for becoming a spy hunter/murderer.
Now I need people in pain, that they will worry, and be sad over their loss, so I could be bathing in my evilness and their blood.
Like Cleopatra's milk baths.
Just soaking my hair in blood, it supposed to give my red-black highlightes more color and life.
You can always attack and scare squids and octupuses until they'll release their ink on you hair for darker tones.
And massage your scalp with bleach for lighter.
You always have an option.
...
A quote.
that_one_worthless_girl said.
"You hurt me.. Time to cut my wrists".
Gladly, I'm not doing so.
Only if I'm a failure I feel like I worth a punishment.
...
The devil is real and he's not some little red man with horns and tail he can be beautiful because he's a fallen angel and he used to be god's favorite.
Well.
It could be better, but why did you use zombie boy's neck for it?
Like, he's not evil.
His a human that looks like art.
And he is used for so many commericials/videos.
Like Born This Way of Lady Gaga.
Or Mac's make up commericial.
But one thing about the fallen angel thing.
Fuck you Patch.
I always though that god's bitches had balls.
Apperantly, being a fallen angel means you're a dream hunting, liar partner, failing killer.
I can do better.
All you need is a knife.
Or a gun.
Or a flamethrower.
Flamethrowers are the best, burn her, and a fire will start in her house, people will think that she left a pan on the stovetop with flames.
Works like magic.
...
Okay, another one.
and then she thought
of the five boys
the reason that she fought
because they were her joy
and she dropped the knife
threw away the pills
and that's when she realised
"they saved my life"
It sounds way awful when you relate it for the religous families and the kicked-out kids.
We are all such a great fuck up generation.
Most of the commenters wrote one direction.
Obvious.
I know that one of their last albums were about mental illness victims.
It's nice of them, nicer if it's not only for sales (And trust me, every action I think about that a celebrity do, I think few times before letting it go, because it's or their manager, that needs to make them as much as famous, or they just did it).
Another one.
Imagine if you lived in the same city as your favorite celebrity.
I was hiding under your porch because I love you.
Should I laugh?
It's fucking Israel.
You see more celebrities than tattooed people.
....
I always like that one!
It's a guy (or a girl with short hair, with tiny boobs, or that they are hidden under her large coat, I don't know), that sits on a bar stool, looking down, slightly ashamed, with scisssors and swords and other sharp metallic tools in his back.
Written on the side "Can't blame me for my trust issue".
Oh, I regret reading it.
I so regret reading it.
It made me to almost cry in school.
I was on the verge expressing emotion again.
Fuck.
It will lead for emotional binging.
Fuck.
...
Tumblr.
It reminds me a bit of my Science class.
This guys are so, ugh, so them!
Here it is:
if watermelon exists why doesn't earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon??
The elemelons
And that's when the firemelon nation attacked.
...
This music is one of the better ones I've ever heard.
Prrrum of Cosculluela.
And Bujaj Sie of AFTER PARTY.
WHAT?!
IT'S NOT RUSSIAN.
I FEEL BETRAYED.
IT'S POLISH.
Well, can't blame me for my trust issues!
...
The end.
From the cars.
And it was quite surprising.
It was the vegan-musician teacher.
He offered me a ride -that obviously, I accepted- and he asked me if I'm excited for the new semester, I said that I do, and he said great, here some dark music to celebrate with.
He switiched a station and a band named Nosei Hamigbaat, was on.
He explanied about them.
It was weird, but good, I guess.
Something, different, and new.
....
I'm home.
I wanted to say something that I saw yesterday.
I FOUND A SCALE.
UMM HMM.
OH YEAH.
HAPPY DANCING AND WEIRD MOVEMENTS.
I FOUND A S-C-A-L-E.
Not digital, a normal one, the doctor's one, or the ones from the movies.
Ye-fucking-ah.
I feel so wonderful about it!
Like some electric angel came and kissed me.
I love you too angel.
...
I'm after the practice, I'm happy but I'm angry.
Why?
I'm happy because I ran 1 km!
Yay!
I can do it.
And soon I will be able to do more.
Irena told me I can go with Yael's runs.
So I will be able to do it, and I'll have company, she'll be happy and so will I.
And I'm angry because I binged, now I smell like chocolate.
I always thought the chocolate smelled bad.
But the flavor was good.
Well, I guess I never learn from mistakes unless I'm truly afraid.
After all, the best way to dominate powerfuly, is with fear.
Make them be able to question your ideas, and they will.
...
I want to buy it tomorrow (and I know it's quick, but Ii got no time anyway).
The more fear I can have, the better.
The need to be dominated, controlled, comes from fear.
You're afraid you don't know what to do, you'd rather put your life in somebody else's hands, in something that will make you focus on something else.
...
I'm deleting now some of my older iPhone photos.
Along with liars faces, and amusing online posts.
Like the girl who asked from the magazine to but metal in their pages.
I still thing the same.
NO.
DON'T YOU DARE TO RUIN IT TO ME.
It requies too much energy anyway.
I can't concentrate with the music I love in the background.
Today, we played Mao.
And the circus guys looked for music for their show, so every once in a while there was music.
They played Green Day's Boulverd of Broken Dreams.
I first heard it over then two years ago, learning one of my first songs on the Guitar, ever since I can't do anything but to remember what to do with my hands and what chords.
Music fucked me up.
And I hate every single person who can't take a normal profile photo.
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR GENDER.
And you need to be as twice as careful when you have both-gender name.
Fuck you Daniel, it's a both gender name, and the semi-duck-face/oh-I'm-so-mysterious-face you have on, under your gray hoodie and you brown-black thich bangs.
EVERYBODY HAVE THOSE BANGS NOW.
COME FUCKING ON.
THIS IS 2014.
FEMINISTS STILL THINK THAT WE GIVE A SHIT, SO THEY DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.
GUYS STILL RAPE AS A PUNISHMENT.
IT'S NOT HELPING AT ALL.
And the fact that one comment is (and I obviously quote) "Hahahahaha* you ass eatres put some deathcore posters of suicide silence, make them suffef, the korea yeah right bi vi bi haha pierce the gay".
*May be more ha than writtem
And the second is "Beary *heart-eyed-emoji*"
You confuse me.
It's more a guy thing to call everybody else gay/fag/homo/another avilable nickname, but heart emoticons are more for cheesy couples/best friends/obssesed fans/basically every teen girl.
Not fair.
Though, lately girls do it too.
Every girl who dresses/acts like a guy is automatically a lesbian.
Appearntly, as far as I know, I was lesbian before I even entered puberty.
Cool.
I won at the I know my sexual prefrences before you race.
I talk about it mostly because my friend, Daniella, have a friend that it quite annoys her that there's a rumor that her best friend is a lesbian.
I dress up exactly like her friend.
...
I don't know what I feel about this.
I just saw the overly-used "Dream is a wish that your heart makes"
When I was eight, I had a dream about being in a theater with the greek gods, watching the world crumbling down while Zeus and Haddas are near me, and we are all cheering happily with large popcorn in our hands.
And when I was nine I had a dream that I died in.
I have a really good reason why 14 is the year when the teenagerhood begins.
In chinese, fourteen sounds like yao sie, which means want death.
Have fun with being fourteen.
Another quote,
A life without:
-Worrying
-Sadness
-Evil
-Pain
Doesn't exist-
Therefore, I'd rather be dead.
Now, tell me exactly how I'm supposed to defeat my enemies and rule the world.
I have a really good plan that includes being a doctor for becoming a spy hunter/murderer.
Now I need people in pain, that they will worry, and be sad over their loss, so I could be bathing in my evilness and their blood.
Like Cleopatra's milk baths.
Just soaking my hair in blood, it supposed to give my red-black highlightes more color and life.
You can always attack and scare squids and octupuses until they'll release their ink on you hair for darker tones.
And massage your scalp with bleach for lighter.
You always have an option.
...
A quote.
that_one_worthless_girl said.
"You hurt me.. Time to cut my wrists".
Gladly, I'm not doing so.
Only if I'm a failure I feel like I worth a punishment.
...
The devil is real and he's not some little red man with horns and tail he can be beautiful because he's a fallen angel and he used to be god's favorite.
Well.
It could be better, but why did you use zombie boy's neck for it?
Like, he's not evil.
His a human that looks like art.
And he is used for so many commericials/videos.
Like Born This Way of Lady Gaga.
Or Mac's make up commericial.
But one thing about the fallen angel thing.
Fuck you Patch.
I always though that god's bitches had balls.
Apperantly, being a fallen angel means you're a dream hunting, liar partner, failing killer.
I can do better.
All you need is a knife.
Or a gun.
Or a flamethrower.
Flamethrowers are the best, burn her, and a fire will start in her house, people will think that she left a pan on the stovetop with flames.
Works like magic.
...
Okay, another one.
and then she thought
of the five boys
the reason that she fought
because they were her joy
and she dropped the knife
threw away the pills
and that's when she realised
"they saved my life"
It sounds way awful when you relate it for the religous families and the kicked-out kids.
We are all such a great fuck up generation.
Most of the commenters wrote one direction.
Obvious.
I know that one of their last albums were about mental illness victims.
It's nice of them, nicer if it's not only for sales (And trust me, every action I think about that a celebrity do, I think few times before letting it go, because it's or their manager, that needs to make them as much as famous, or they just did it).
Another one.
Imagine if you lived in the same city as your favorite celebrity.
I was hiding under your porch because I love you.
Should I laugh?
It's fucking Israel.
You see more celebrities than tattooed people.
....
I always like that one!
It's a guy (or a girl with short hair, with tiny boobs, or that they are hidden under her large coat, I don't know), that sits on a bar stool, looking down, slightly ashamed, with scisssors and swords and other sharp metallic tools in his back.
Written on the side "Can't blame me for my trust issue".
Oh, I regret reading it.
I so regret reading it.
It made me to almost cry in school.
I was on the verge expressing emotion again.
Fuck.
It will lead for emotional binging.
Fuck.
...
Tumblr.
It reminds me a bit of my Science class.
This guys are so, ugh, so them!
Here it is:
if watermelon exists why doesn't earthmelon, firemelon and airmelon??
The elemelons
And that's when the firemelon nation attacked.
...
This music is one of the better ones I've ever heard.
Prrrum of Cosculluela.
And Bujaj Sie of AFTER PARTY.
WHAT?!
IT'S NOT RUSSIAN.
I FEEL BETRAYED.
IT'S POLISH.
Well, can't blame me for my trust issues!
...
The end.
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