Not fun.
Not fun at all.
Not only that it hurts in my head, and it makes me do something I wasn't supposed to do (I lived guilt free for three days, not fucking fair to ruin it), it also hurts my body, and it fucking sucks.
Not only you think you're a failure, your body reminds you that you actually are one.
I'm not feeling good anymore.
Last night I already felt that I shouldn't eat so much.
And I said "don't worry, it's nothing", and then I got triggered, now it's "you foolish girl, you thought you'll be happy in hell, welcome back, in order to be better you mustn't eat", and I can't go out.
If I won't starve, I'll be overeating until the whole thing is over.
And who knows, I don't want to reach fifties again!
Ever again!
I have a feeling that I did.
And you have no idea how much I wan to cut but I can't because I'm going to be waxed on Wednesday, the whole body
Fucking hell.
I'm in school now.
I don't want to go to that thing they do.
I'm ugly and the whole beauty of the video.
Oh well, two more school days (not including today), two more short and easy school days, and one ram day.
I think that in this week I'd make polyvore stuff with my clothes.
Not fair.
Why do I have to be the one who's white hoodie (FUCKING WHITE AND PRETTY) got a bit of blood on it?
And it's super unfair.
It looks like a tiny hand and it's on my LEFT WRIST.
FUCK.
...
I can say that I had one of my better hours of life today.
Yael is the girl that saves me from my sick bored sadistic self, with her I feel alive.
It's not good.
The last girl that I felt alive and good and normal with is now 90% of the time a zombie, because she's on medicines, probably antidepressants.
It makes me wonder if she ever tried to commit auicide.
You know, pills aren't so easy to get.
I'm going to do stuff that will make me forget about my dominative parents.
No comments:
Post a Comment