I don't think I'll be able to take selfies or be able to participate in any kind of action that requires your face and body to be filmed.
.....
What...?
I remember sleeping at six, but now it's five.
Or maybe I just had to remember this number too much?
My head hurts.
At least I'm up.
I want pizza.
I want pizza's bread.
I want also big coke drink.
I need some music that won't give me the opportunity to sleep again.
It's really easy!
Nothing unplugged or acoustic version, nothing slow, preferably one that will force you to do something.
I want to read some creepypasta.
A good one.
I don't know why, but I just ran into some stupid ones lately...
Oh the stupidity!
Or really short, or really pointless, or both combined.
The only scary thing is there, that it was published and people can still read it and label it as creepy pasta.
Oh, I see I kept a good one.
7 Gates of Hell.
It was probably the best I read the whole day.
I read also Satan's Hallway, it had potential, the ending was really flat.
What am I hearing?
I don't remember anything.
I want to sleep again.
What the fuck are those shadows?
All the time stupid shadows!
I don't remember having a fucking eagly outside (looks surprised in the mirror to check if Steve, William, and Carlos are alright), why do I have to suffer illusions?!
I just had them ever since I was a little girl.
I never spoke too loudly about them, as people would think I'm stupid.
Now, I just enjoy through "what just happened" faces every once in a while.
It's sometimes fun.
It's a really good reference for some weirdly walking puppet.
I guess it's just another Dolly story kind of thing.
....
I'm trying to finish the lining of some weird thing I'm making.
It's slightly inspired by the things that are happening in South America.
I draw Israeli people, with other people with the South American look (probably one of my favorite areas with beauty), mostly tripping.
Have you heard about the parties that some Israeli adults caused there.
If you didn't, and I assume you didn't, it was insane.
They are just partying like in those college movies or Hangover movies, or just movies that include those themes, drugs, money, alcohol, foreigners.
They just call it "nature parties", they do it outside, and just go crazy.
Until the police comes.
I'm going to check the news, it's always fun!
....
Okay, Kansas dude.
I liked your line.
"The Jewish Israel is racist. It's united..." and "The Jews are giving us sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, while they control us and lead us to doom".
Okay.
Of course we are united and racist!
That very Jewish guy, despises that not-as-Jewish Jewish guy, and just add the Muslims, Christians, Druzes, and the weird cults, and the religions that you never heard of.
We fucking hate each other, and we work great together when there's one big enemy.
It's simple logic, in fact, it's an instinct, you must survive.
But I liked the second one better.
I love the Bedouins, they used to sneak drugs from Egypt to Israel.
Sex? Well, yes.
A lot of it, to be honest.
Everybody has it.
Even the super religious guys go to prostitutes, ain't it funny?
Now the last thing I got to say, Rock'n'Roll.
It's a myth.
We have nothing.
On yNet, one of my favorite sites got a music section, I saw they head one for metal, I was quite surprised.
They had only two articles, from around 2007, and none of them were Israeli.
We don't have good music at all.
The one that's considered to be is a pop girl, Ninet.
I never liked her.
I can't really explain why, but I never liked her, she seems slightly... overrated.
I'm sorry, she's not such a big deal for me.
She's around forty without any kids.
She's a good example of why partying too hard with a boyfriend that you were with for eight years is not necessarily a good idea.
Oh fuck, Passover now.
I got now power for this shit.
Oh well, it's time to just hate this day.
And tomorrow.
Unless Sapir Ortal and Meital and Alon are coming.
Great, I thought that if I'll hate my birthday this year, it'll be from another reason, which is not better, but still, I expected it to be me, staying in home, and maybe, just maybe, watching some other movie after Thirteen.
Because I'm finally it.
Thirteen.
Oh, fuck.
Next year I'll be "want to die".
I fucking hate this number.
14.
This is why I have problems with China.
But it got a good part, most of the stuff that include the number 4 are cheaper!
Is it really weird that I'm looking on branded fashion stores, only to just sigh each time when I see a thigh gap.
Thigh gap, means for me, beauty, and perfection that I shall reach, at least once.
Yesterday, I learned something from the Greek Mythology that nobody ever bothered to teach.
Helena from Troya.
I would have forget to tell you, but I just kept the tabs, and when I navigate it's or that, or some story.
So, now I know, kind of.
It's more confusing than Gerald Roberts.
I'm so confused.
And the John.
It's seriously annoying to remember names.
It's almost the end of the year, and I'm still too shy to call Noa or Alex, because I know I'll mess up and mix up, and I'll just panic and will beat myself up in my head for this.
Sometimes physically, but in a really small thing, you barely notice it's there.
It's Hands of a Living God, and it confused me, more than I should.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm not filled with information about Christian movements.
I'm more into stupid girls in their stupid cults, sometimes, it's not the leader's fault, it's their fucking own fault.
Oh, how did I got into that thing again?
Ritual area.
It's pretty cool, but this shit is freaky, because sometimes it leads you to some mirror stuff that are just not meant to be.
I have problems now with the lighting and the mirrors and this whole room.
.....
Passover is over.
Now a week of barely pooping and I'm done.
I'm serious, whoever that made those matzah live in the past.
The hardest part is the fact that I don't believe in it.
It's like a punishment.
But I shouldn't worry, just a couple of years.
....
I just started watching Sebastian, and she talked about how she's pissed off because people are saying that selfies are just for people who need to be complimented all the time, if you'd like to see, I'm going to post the name.
For now, an article that I've read a while ago just came again.
When was the last time that you saw a legal adult (I'm going to continue the sentence and freak out because I just understood something) that's addicted to a world, online, and locks himself in his room for an extended time, and won't eat, in order to do something.
Now I shall freak out, because HOLY FUCK IS IT SUICIDE ROOM AGAIN?!
I think I'm starting to get the point of JHC addiction level.
Just to remind you JHC stands for Jesus Henry Christ, which is a great movie.
But no, it's about a british boy, who did everything in order to feed his disorder, to achieve perfection in order to create the perfect selfie.
It's shocking, but it's true.
I assume that if you'd look deep into the internet, you'll find it.
Boy perfect selfie addiction.
I assume it'll give you what you need, I just write sentences and words that will fit, and I find it.
....
I wonder what will happen if getting weapons (weapons with only one cause, to harm, not like knives) will be easier.
Will more people die?
What if we'll open just a juvie.
Like a normal place, and scare the shit out of the children.
And show them that unless you're in a mafia and got seven passports, people will find you.
Really?
Now?
I guess that when your phone got too many (almost a third) songs of one band, you're just more likely to hear them.
I had this problem once with The Beatles.
But for real, we need one.
Or at least some sort of a button, like fire alarms.
Just "YOUTH ALARM" that plays the most recent pop, and put glitters, and other distractions.
Hang smartphones higher than us, and we'll try to catch them, we're like cats.
I have problems with pop, as it usually got the most depressing and dark motives in it.
From some reason, they usually enjoy to mentally scar you when you're young, and when you're adult, you become like the rest of the journalists in yNet, and you start writing about how depressing and dark were the nursery songs.
I knew them too, maybe it was meant to the twenty or so, but I was born into it.
I was going to write the lyrics, but I'm too shocked.
And it's not the first time I read this article.
I wonder if we were always just raised to learn depression.
We all just heard shitty depressing songs, and really awful stuff, and around the new millennium, people understood how weird it is, but it didn't help to the children that were raised by their parents, and not by the housekeeper.
They are alright, kind of.
I mean, they will grow...
FUCK IM GOING TO BE THERE!
LIFE IS FUCKING GETTING BETTER BY THE SECOND.
I'll see them in the depressed phase!
I feel like I was ran over by unicorns, THIS IS SO GREAT.
I just can't wait to see them all.
Depressed phase, dreadlock phase (it's a thing), punk phase, gothic phase, over-everything phase (one of the better, it's a hormonal teen behavior, just for a long while), and that's only fits for one person the description I made.
IT'LL BE A RAINBOW OF TEENAGERS.
It means that I'll have to show that I'm caring (yes, I really do care that you ran away from home for five minutes -words of sarcasm, Dvash) and it means that I'll have to hear a lot of music that I won't necessarily like, so it means that I might suffer.
Sadly, it might never happen as well.
But I'm sure some guys in the honor roll class will do it.
I spotted few.
I always manage to spot few.
I love May Gunn!
She's so cute!
I think I just fell in love with the person behind A.S.G.A.M.
....
I'm thirteen.
Hooray.
It's just... Too hard.
Why would I pollute the world with myself?
The only thing I want to take pictures of is my body when I'll have a very good reason to determine myself as thinspo.
For now I'm just before and after material.
The before type of it.
You know why?
I want to be skinny enough to be around.
I want that people will be able to carry me.
I want to have a BMI of underweight, which is just below 39.5.
So being in a 38 is what I need.
But I also want my fat percentage to be low.
Around 15 and less.
But, the thing that I want most is that t thighs will stop touching.
Yesterday, after I carried my board up the stairs, I walked on some weird concrete weird thing, and I heard something, it was what they meant when they said "thunder thighs".
That made me feel like shit.
But it powered me up.
I guess after the holiday is over, it'll be a very interesting thing in school.
I'll train the hardest I can in school and I won't eat.
No more zero cal goodies until I reach 46.
....
Well, I'm going to read some news.
Haven't done so in a while.
Okay, a murderer in Kansas.
Killed three Jewish people, after all, you're a Nazi, and people assume he's in the KKK.
There's a title that says about children that watched porn in the middle of the country, in primary school.
So did our school.
Some stupid horny fourth grader boys.
Maybe that article speaks about them, it didn't give much clues.
Another title, a twelve year old boy wasn't sent to the ER and became infertile.
That's cute.
The fact that your son feels a pain in his testicle and you taking him to the family doctor is bullshit, talk to a specialist, I don't care that it's expensive, fertility treatments won't stay in that price for long, it'll just become more and more expensive, for long term thinking, you should have sent him in time.
Too bad, a boy with brainless parents who believe to everything the doctor says, go to a person who knows everything about what they're doing.
Well, the twelve year old murderers are still in the hot topics area.
No wonder why.
I can find more information.
The victim to-be heard their planning while she was in the bathroom.
And Galis will not teach you how to make your traces disappear or blurred.
From the other side, CP (Referring to the website), news, and the fact that my father is a detective and a paramedic and serves in the army (it's not the ordinary dad, it's the SUPERDAD), and many other small other resources that are taught in school, like you learn how to navigate, how to run, sprint, and you learn about all kind of weird stuff, that in the end, helps you become everything you want.
I have few plans in my sleeve at all times.
I must become able to kill, or harm, in order to survive in this land of terror.
From some reason, I'd rather to not get raped, or killed, or just tortured for the sadistic person's pleasure.
I'm going to surf today.
I wish I could say the same about tomorrow.
Tomorrow, it's my wonderful birthday, but I'm going to the south, for the religious family.
My cousins that are close to me better come as well.
Unless people like to watch me suffer.
Hey, everybody with his fucked up head.
I think I'm going to die.
I won't be with you on the very special day.
Today I'm a stupid twelve year old.
Tomorrow I'll be a stupid thirteen year old.
FUCK!
I WON'T BE ABLE TO WATCH THIRTEEN!
....
Well, I'm going to read some news.
Haven't done so in a while.
Okay, a murderer in Kansas.
Killed three Jewish people, after all, you're a Nazi, and people assume he's in the KKK.
There's a title that says about children that watched porn in the middle of the country, in primary school.
So did our school.
Some stupid horny fourth grader boys.
Maybe that article speaks about them, it didn't give much clues.
Another title, a twelve year old boy wasn't sent to the ER and became infertile.
That's cute.
The fact that your son feels a pain in his testicle and you taking him to the family doctor is bullshit, talk to a specialist, I don't care that it's expensive, fertility treatments won't stay in that price for long, it'll just become more and more expensive, for long term thinking, you should have sent him in time.
Too bad, a boy with brainless parents who believe to everything the doctor says, go to a person who knows everything about what they're doing.
Well, the twelve year old murderers are still in the hot topics area.
No wonder why.
I can find more information.
The victim to-be heard their planning while she was in the bathroom.
And Galis will not teach you how to make your traces disappear or blurred.
From the other side, CP (Referring to the website), news, and the fact that my father is a detective and a paramedic and serves in the army (it's not the ordinary dad, it's the SUPERDAD), and many other small other resources that are taught in school, like you learn how to navigate, how to run, sprint, and you learn about all kind of weird stuff, that in the end, helps you become everything you want.
I have few plans in my sleeve at all times.
I must become able to kill, or harm, in order to survive in this land of terror.
From some reason, I'd rather to not get raped, or killed, or just tortured for the sadistic person's pleasure.
I'm going to surf today.
I wish I could say the same about tomorrow.
Tomorrow, it's my wonderful birthday, but I'm going to the south, for the religious family.
My cousins that are close to me better come as well.
Unless people like to watch me suffer.
Hey, everybody with his fucked up head.
I think I'm going to die.
I won't be with you on the very special day.
Today I'm a stupid twelve year old.
Tomorrow I'll be a stupid thirteen year old.
FUCK!
I WON'T BE ABLE TO WATCH THIRTEEN!
It's like, a planning that I made for over a year and a half, just thrown into the trash.
I'm sorry, who the fuck permitted this?
...
I watch her.
And I can't take off the thought of her lean, slender, beautiful body.
Why can't I be like this?!
It's a rhetorical question.
I know exactly why.
Shitty genes, shitty education, shitty diet, shitty mental health.
Thank you mother for giving birth to me, to your ed inflicted lifestyle.
Thank you for teaching me to eat endlessly, while you stay with a mouth closed.
Thank you friends for giving me disgusting shit to eat.
Thank you friends for telling me skinny is beauty; fat is ugly; white is beauty; black is ugly.
.....
What...?
I remember sleeping at six, but now it's five.
Or maybe I just had to remember this number too much?
My head hurts.
At least I'm up.
I want pizza.
I want pizza's bread.
I want also big coke drink.
I need some music that won't give me the opportunity to sleep again.
It's really easy!
Nothing unplugged or acoustic version, nothing slow, preferably one that will force you to do something.
I want to read some creepypasta.
A good one.
I don't know why, but I just ran into some stupid ones lately...
Oh the stupidity!
Or really short, or really pointless, or both combined.
The only scary thing is there, that it was published and people can still read it and label it as creepy pasta.
Oh, I see I kept a good one.
7 Gates of Hell.
It was probably the best I read the whole day.
I read also Satan's Hallway, it had potential, the ending was really flat.
What am I hearing?
I don't remember anything.
I want to sleep again.
What the fuck are those shadows?
All the time stupid shadows!
I don't remember having a fucking eagly outside (looks surprised in the mirror to check if Steve, William, and Carlos are alright), why do I have to suffer illusions?!
I just had them ever since I was a little girl.
I never spoke too loudly about them, as people would think I'm stupid.
Now, I just enjoy through "what just happened" faces every once in a while.
It's sometimes fun.
It's a really good reference for some weirdly walking puppet.
I guess it's just another Dolly story kind of thing.
....
I'm trying to finish the lining of some weird thing I'm making.
It's slightly inspired by the things that are happening in South America.
I draw Israeli people, with other people with the South American look (probably one of my favorite areas with beauty), mostly tripping.
Have you heard about the parties that some Israeli adults caused there.
If you didn't, and I assume you didn't, it was insane.
They are just partying like in those college movies or Hangover movies, or just movies that include those themes, drugs, money, alcohol, foreigners.
They just call it "nature parties", they do it outside, and just go crazy.
Until the police comes.
I'm going to check the news, it's always fun!
....
Okay, Kansas dude.
I liked your line.
"The Jewish Israel is racist. It's united..." and "The Jews are giving us sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, while they control us and lead us to doom".
Okay.
Of course we are united and racist!
That very Jewish guy, despises that not-as-Jewish Jewish guy, and just add the Muslims, Christians, Druzes, and the weird cults, and the religions that you never heard of.
We fucking hate each other, and we work great together when there's one big enemy.
It's simple logic, in fact, it's an instinct, you must survive.
But I liked the second one better.
I love the Bedouins, they used to sneak drugs from Egypt to Israel.
Sex? Well, yes.
A lot of it, to be honest.
Everybody has it.
Even the super religious guys go to prostitutes, ain't it funny?
Now the last thing I got to say, Rock'n'Roll.
It's a myth.
We have nothing.
On yNet, one of my favorite sites got a music section, I saw they head one for metal, I was quite surprised.
They had only two articles, from around 2007, and none of them were Israeli.
We don't have good music at all.
The one that's considered to be is a pop girl, Ninet.
I never liked her.
I can't really explain why, but I never liked her, she seems slightly... overrated.
I'm sorry, she's not such a big deal for me.
She's around forty without any kids.
She's a good example of why partying too hard with a boyfriend that you were with for eight years is not necessarily a good idea.
Oh fuck, Passover now.
I got now power for this shit.
Oh well, it's time to just hate this day.
And tomorrow.
Unless Sapir Ortal and Meital and Alon are coming.
Great, I thought that if I'll hate my birthday this year, it'll be from another reason, which is not better, but still, I expected it to be me, staying in home, and maybe, just maybe, watching some other movie after Thirteen.
Because I'm finally it.
Thirteen.
Oh, fuck.
Next year I'll be "want to die".
I fucking hate this number.
14.
This is why I have problems with China.
But it got a good part, most of the stuff that include the number 4 are cheaper!
Is it really weird that I'm looking on branded fashion stores, only to just sigh each time when I see a thigh gap.
Thigh gap, means for me, beauty, and perfection that I shall reach, at least once.
Yesterday, I learned something from the Greek Mythology that nobody ever bothered to teach.
Helena from Troya.
I would have forget to tell you, but I just kept the tabs, and when I navigate it's or that, or some story.
So, now I know, kind of.
It's more confusing than Gerald Roberts.
I'm so confused.
And the John.
It's seriously annoying to remember names.
It's almost the end of the year, and I'm still too shy to call Noa or Alex, because I know I'll mess up and mix up, and I'll just panic and will beat myself up in my head for this.
Sometimes physically, but in a really small thing, you barely notice it's there.
It's Hands of a Living God, and it confused me, more than I should.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm not filled with information about Christian movements.
I'm more into stupid girls in their stupid cults, sometimes, it's not the leader's fault, it's their fucking own fault.
Oh, how did I got into that thing again?
Ritual area.
It's pretty cool, but this shit is freaky, because sometimes it leads you to some mirror stuff that are just not meant to be.
I have problems now with the lighting and the mirrors and this whole room.
.....
Passover is over.
Now a week of barely pooping and I'm done.
I'm serious, whoever that made those matzah live in the past.
The hardest part is the fact that I don't believe in it.
It's like a punishment.
But I shouldn't worry, just a couple of years.
....
I just started watching Sebastian, and she talked about how she's pissed off because people are saying that selfies are just for people who need to be complimented all the time, if you'd like to see, I'm going to post the name.
For now, an article that I've read a while ago just came again.
When was the last time that you saw a legal adult (I'm going to continue the sentence and freak out because I just understood something) that's addicted to a world, online, and locks himself in his room for an extended time, and won't eat, in order to do something.
Now I shall freak out, because HOLY FUCK IS IT SUICIDE ROOM AGAIN?!
I think I'm starting to get the point of JHC addiction level.
Just to remind you JHC stands for Jesus Henry Christ, which is a great movie.
But no, it's about a british boy, who did everything in order to feed his disorder, to achieve perfection in order to create the perfect selfie.
It's shocking, but it's true.
I assume that if you'd look deep into the internet, you'll find it.
Boy perfect selfie addiction.
I assume it'll give you what you need, I just write sentences and words that will fit, and I find it.
....
I wonder what will happen if getting weapons (weapons with only one cause, to harm, not like knives) will be easier.
Will more people die?
What if we'll open just a juvie.
Like a normal place, and scare the shit out of the children.
And show them that unless you're in a mafia and got seven passports, people will find you.
Really?
Now?
I guess that when your phone got too many (almost a third) songs of one band, you're just more likely to hear them.
I had this problem once with The Beatles.
But for real, we need one.
Or at least some sort of a button, like fire alarms.
Just "YOUTH ALARM" that plays the most recent pop, and put glitters, and other distractions.
Hang smartphones higher than us, and we'll try to catch them, we're like cats.
I have problems with pop, as it usually got the most depressing and dark motives in it.
From some reason, they usually enjoy to mentally scar you when you're young, and when you're adult, you become like the rest of the journalists in yNet, and you start writing about how depressing and dark were the nursery songs.
I knew them too, maybe it was meant to the twenty or so, but I was born into it.
I was going to write the lyrics, but I'm too shocked.
And it's not the first time I read this article.
I wonder if we were always just raised to learn depression.
We all just heard shitty depressing songs, and really awful stuff, and around the new millennium, people understood how weird it is, but it didn't help to the children that were raised by their parents, and not by the housekeeper.
They are alright, kind of.
I mean, they will grow...
FUCK IM GOING TO BE THERE!
LIFE IS FUCKING GETTING BETTER BY THE SECOND.
I'll see them in the depressed phase!
I feel like I was ran over by unicorns, THIS IS SO GREAT.
I just can't wait to see them all.
Depressed phase, dreadlock phase (it's a thing), punk phase, gothic phase, over-everything phase (one of the better, it's a hormonal teen behavior, just for a long while), and that's only fits for one person the description I made.
IT'LL BE A RAINBOW OF TEENAGERS.
It means that I'll have to show that I'm caring (yes, I really do care that you ran away from home for five minutes -words of sarcasm, Dvash) and it means that I'll have to hear a lot of music that I won't necessarily like, so it means that I might suffer.
Sadly, it might never happen as well.
But I'm sure some guys in the honor roll class will do it.
I spotted few.
I always manage to spot few.
I love May Gunn!
She's so cute!
I think I just fell in love with the person behind A.S.G.A.M.
....
I'm thirteen.
Hooray.
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