How the fuck did I got this?
Some weird cut on the right side of my left wrist.
It's tiny, about the size of a normal sized Windows' cursor, and it's crescent shaped.
The cut itself is probably a day or two old, because it's in the red-brown color, and around it it's red-purple, so it can't be very old.
How could I miss it?
At least the bruise on my knee is starting to heal....
I think.
I'm not so sure, it's such a weird one.
It got some purple scabs around, but a few stripes in the middle, probably scratches.
I hate when I get cuts in places that there's barely blood in, it takes a forever to heal.
And I hate to get scars.
Especially on my knees, I got at least three in each knee.
I guess I can comfort myself with the fact that all those weird black and blue bruises I used to get from the ball while defending the gate while playing soccer/football (I will always write both, just to make sure) are gone, if they were permanent, I was a fucking cheetah, my legs could've been patterned in the trend of 2012.
I'm still pissed because there are no bobs.
I fucking need them.
Unless you got this weird haircut of shave behind the ear, and after it, when you grow it, it looks weird.
It's probably what I need more.
I'm watching my strange addiction.
And other stuff.
Like when Valeria Lukyanova met Justin Jedlica/
But now I'm hearing about one of my favorite British people.
Danny Bowman.
The boy who got addicted to selfies, and it spiraled down badly ever since.
He wasn't accepted to modeling because he had the wrong body shape, he was called fat by the agency.
He looks fucking great, he looks like a model, he's the kind of guys that you see in the cool "underground" stores.
PURGING?!
He purged, I knew he starved himself... Bu he purged.
He obviously got his dysmorphia triggered by the modeling rules.
They got a lot of ideas that will be very different between our "normal" and "ill" ideas.
Size 38 in modeling, is for plus sized models.
If I...
Wait, my current size (for last year, I haven't bought anything since), was 36, now I need to measure it again.
I am xs by the sizing of that asian shop!
http://www.asianicandy.com/pages/sizing
I'm asian small.
Just another inch and I'm size 2 in UK!
I'm desperate to go into a kid shop and buy from there a pair of pants.
Just like Yael.
And maybe she had to buy a five year old size in order so it won't fall from her petite beautiful body, but it was so short, I'd be satisfied with wearing a eight-twelve size.
I bet it'll be awkward at first.
Espacially if it'll be too small on me at first.
I cut my thumb with the tape while measuring myself for girls' trousers sizing.
I'm going to take a shower, I don't want to.
I don't want to go to my family.
Why would I?
To be triggered?
Why would I want that?
I'm planning to go as usual after the end of the holiday.
It's not fair.
At least I'm charging my phone, so I'll have a perfect way to distract myself, I don't want people to communicate with me.
"And now when all is done;
There is nothing to say;
You have gone and so effortlessly;
You have won;
You can go ahead tell them;
Tell them all I know now;
Shout it from the roof tops;
Write it on the skyline;
All we had is gone now;
Tell them I was happy;
And my heart is open;
All my scars are open;
Tell them what I hoped would be;
Impossible"
I'm sorry, but it's everything I felt in those days, when I thought she won, she destroyed me, and left, everything is over, and now you can tell what I knew all along, tell it to everybody, everything I had, we had, is gone, tell them I was happy, and the I believed them, now I''m opening it all, tell them that everything that happened, that I never believed that could happen -happened.
....
I took a shower, I'm ashamed of my thighs because I know that, some girl, who is blood related to me, got a fucking thigh gap, hip bones that show, and flat-to-concave stomach.
I don't care she passed puberty already, and that she was fat through those years doesn't matter.
It kind of gives me some hope, I might have a chance to... I don't know.. Blossom to a less stressed girl?
I just want to feel comfortable, I guess I will... Eventually.
....
I love dove's commercial.
I knew it was the psychological trick since the beginning, only believing that it'll work makes it work.
Don't try this with making physical stuff, you won't become a waterbender only because you really want to...
You can always spray people with water or splash on them or spit on them, it's kind of water bending.
Or set people on fire, for being a great fire bender.
Or... You got the idea.
...
If I'm going to change my name I'll change it Randy-Joe and get a nose piercing and I'll steal all your girls while smoking and drinking.
Randy-Joe is a character of the cool guy that gets the girls easily in a puberty guide and information in disguise!
And people told me books are good...
I learned about teen drinking and smoking and how normal it is.
Actually it was supposed to be in England, and it used to be really popular to smoke at the time.
Actually, considering it to the fullest, books taught me worse things, everything that had only text in taught me to do awful things (I'm not considering CP in this one, so the situation is actually quite bad), I learned awful things at Home.
To be honest, I learned most from school.
I learned about sex in school, I learned about racism in school, and I learned another thousand ways to die, only through school.
I want to make an Awkward Moment sentence.
That awkward moment when it takes you a while to recognize a song you had over a year in your iPod.
It actually happened.
I'm going to meet with the inevitable soon.
Fuck.
I only imagine what if I'll see her now, and she gained weight, and I'll be happy, first I'll be happy because she got better, and started eating more like people expect her to, the other, will be more powerful, and it will probably be the main reason why I'll smile, because she gained weight, and I can get the crown of ed in this family.
I'm that competitive, and you know it.
I'm listening to AS IT IS' Can't Save Myself.
They are quite good.
Depressing with nice tune, but who isn't like that?
....
Okay, I'm back, after four and a half hours of pure suffering.
Okay, the weird new show of Disney is another Disney one.
*sarcasm starts now*
It's so realistic, everybody learns material arts, and on Halloween we fight with our best friends against people in masks, mostly clown masks, mutilated clown masks.
Disney should get their shit together, and grow fucking real, in that point, Nickelodeon is what we need, they make a family humor, PG rated humor, which is something you can watch by yourself, but it's recommended to have a parental guidance with you.
Not all sparkles and shit.
If sparkles and shit, give me Jetix back, it used to have a lot of sparkles and shit, and pokemons with deep episodes.
I was looking for some sim stuff, to spice up my family's life, I consider making just one person at a time, once a normal sim, he'll get the money, and start the hard life in this game, if he'll become a success, his son/daughter will "follow" his steps, and he'll get into a successful boarding school, will go to college, and make a lot of money, if his father won't, then the father will try to help his child as much as he can, and the child must have many traits.
If the father got over 30K or 50K he's successful.
Back to the child with the failure of a father that has a warm heart, he must be perfect, become prom king, get a full scholarship in University, and have great life, will have a great house, and will make a lot of money, become the greatness that his father wasn't, after he retired (preferably an early retirer), he'll visit his father all the time, and grow his heir to do what he loves, so his son will be free.
So far, we got the two first generations clear, the first two are the moneymakers, the second gen may become the greatest easily, or will have to work hard for it.
The third one, he'll be a world traveler, a free spirit, and only late in his life he'll have a child, around in middle-end of adulthood.
He'll (or she'll sorry for not mentioning it before) have one child.
A fucking hard-assed business kid, he'll be a fucking perfectionist, everything his parent wasn't he'll be, everything his parent was, he won't be.
Simple as that.
Okay, gen count!
1st Money Maker- must start from scratch, and have one child, the mother won't live with the first one (can be adopted, or just kick out and divorce the mother).
2nd Success, the next gen, if parent was rich, skills aren't a must from a young age, if parent wasn't rich, skills are a must, as many as possible, if rich, no need to go to university, if poor, must get a full scholarship, and must have at least one child, only one will be gen 3 anyway.
3rd Wild, must become a traveler (their wish doesn't have to be related to traveling), and shouldn't go to university, if you'd like, make him to drop out (just skip school all the time, eventually the school will kick him out), the sim must have only one child in the end of adulthood.
4th Strict, the sim must work his hardest, and pick the workaholic trait when possible.
I have things to say so let's get it quick!
A signature I found in Mod The Sims' website (google the quote, and write the website's name, you might find it this way, if not just write cannibalcupcake or click here).
"I don't want to die without any scars."
“The world is gonna try and clean you up, what you gonna do about it? They’re gonna try and make you pretty, what the fuck you gonna do about it? You’re gonna say I wanna stay ugly.” -Gerard Way
Small fist bump for quoting people that I have heard about!
Can I get a quote book of Otis from BATBY (Back at the Barnyard), Jamie Oliver (the chef), Patrick Star (from Spongebob Squarepants), Martin Moone and his imaginary friend (from Moone Boy), and of Simon and Kylie (from the Beautiful People series, I accidently found some song made by Marilyn Manson), and such?
I need it.
Badly.
Well, I just wanted to say to all people alive:
It's not fair that you got great Music Festivals (especially a big fuck you for England, for having a book-music-Jamie Oliver festival!) and I got the annual Iraqi music festival in Tiberias, or the Yemenite one in Eilat.
Or the "Rock" one in Eilat.
Ninet Tayeb is not rock in my opinion, and all those trends of some religious people fucking around with guitar.
Actually, the religious ones are the answer for Christian Rock, they made Jewish Rock real.
All I want is heavy metal of european people and I'm done.
But seriously, you got it all the time.
But it got only one thing that's good about it, if there was such a thing in Israel that deserves to be counted as good, it'll be too shitty.
...
I just cleaned my room.
Should I start feeling bad because the holiday is about to end?
I'm going to go back to "eating in public is too stressful" routine, and wondering endlessly about weight of others, and asking them about it more often than anybody else should.
I'm going back to see people that I don't like.
At least I got around two months (probably less) of school until it's a little less than two months of a reboot for my system.
How to dress like a metal drummer...
Exactly when I thought that Wikihow is repeating itself and got nothing new, here comes it.
Am I the only one who got only one offensive joke for it?
“What do you call someone who is not a musician? A drummer!
This is why I love Mighty B (I thought it was bee because she's into bees and stuff but nope), and Rocky.
Well, tomorrow I got a practice, it'll be...
Interesting?
Good-nighty-night!
No comments:
Post a Comment