Fucking hell.
I woke up today, twice, at first on a quarter past three am, I saw the time and just went back to sleep (took a while but it worked), then I woke up again, on five forty five am, which is good.
I woke up, made some espressino, I love the flavor, my dad was slightly upset for drinking coffee.
After some online activities, I got dressed up and weighed myself (48.5 before toilet) and got to shcool on bicycle, when my messenger bag drove me crazy (it was getting in my way!) and I made it.
I finished the test in thirty minutes, and I tried tiger myself home.
IM NOW STILL IN FUCKING SCHOOL.
I probably said it a lot before, and a lot in the past few days, but the fucking education system and policy is AWFUL.
Now, you can't drop out, you don't have prom, and you don't have a test that can make wonders for job acceptance.
...
It's two forty two pm now.
I'm having fun on the toilet seat, you know, blogging and reading.
I found an epic website named GiftedUnschooling.com and it's written by a parent of two gifted children (I assume intellectually gifted) who is talking a lot about unschooling and giftedness.
By the tests I had on the second grade, I was an eight year old with IQ above 130.
I don't know what's mine now.
I want to be unschooled, because it fits me perfectly, I always did that, along with the school which is completely unnecessary.
.....
It's seven now, I'm on my computer, playing with my phone Icon Pop Song 2, I'm mostly using the answers cheat list, because I rarely know anything, and when I do know, then I do it very quickly.
I have a good comment for you, well, as it seems now, I had a good comment, but I can't find her, so here goes another good opportunity for showing you some sarcastic comments, and the people who thought it was serious.
Some news that are affecting everybody, the peppers protest, the buyers and the farmers (funny because that the family name of the farmer in BATBY is Buyers) are tired of the sky-high prices.
In a cheap supermarket, it costs 6 nis for a kilogram of cucumbers, 3 nis on special sales, and guess for how many nis does the farmer sells it? 0.5 nis for something that's a kilo or more.
OUT-FUCKING-RAGEOUS.
Do you know what I hate?
Liars.
Today, Daniela, my friend, called me ugly, I took it harder than I should, and I know that I know better than that.
And today, Yael said to me that my face reminds her of a model or an actress, I shrugged her off with telling her that she's hallucinating, and that too much adrenaline is not healthy.
I don't know which one is the liar, a part of me says that it's Daniela, but abig huge enormous part of me says that Yael is the liar.
Logic of low self esteem.
I showed my mother an article on GiftedUnschooling, she didn't like that, sometimes I forget that my English skills are above the average of my age, and maybe overall above, after all, there are many people in Israel who couldn't afford English education when they were young (I'm talking about people who are 40+) and there are the Arsses (maybe arss works?) who will never bother with English.
People say that Arsses is an offensive racist definition (I think that a false stereotype is an offensive, but legitimate racist things are okay with me, the cunts who aren't willing to be called by their skin tone should basically die, both yellow asians, white crackers, and black people, usually called niggers) and some say it's a trait.
I consider it as a personality type, it's something in your behaviour.
Awful, disgusting, sort of a behaviour, that should probably be eliminated, but still one.
I hate how loud, disrespectful, rude (not even sarcastic rude, or mildly rude, they are plain assholes), trashy, imbeciles, ignorants, and a lot of more stuff they are!
So I'm loud, I usually control it, but sometimes my super-bionic-vocal-cords that can be compared to a construction site's noises, and I disrespect stuff, always the thing that deserves it, I'm sarcastically rude, and can be mildly rude, when needed, of course, trashy I am not, unless I'm sarcastic, imbecile, well, I'm have many ages that I live through, so sort of, maybe, ignorants, haha! No!
If you judge by traits, than I'm an Arss.
By behaviour, well, I'm just a fucking blogger, on Blogger, and it's my blog, I have this blog for over a year, and I blog for over two years, so I own this URL and live in it.
Well, I explained something to a girl, about national values and humanity values, and she didn't understood what it meant, thanks to their awful use of words.
I said " values of the nation and values of the whole world, like ethics and stuff"
She said in response: "Ethics?"
I wasn't very surprised, it's just how much I love law, and morals, and doctor shit.
I explained with "Like rules and internal morals"
Then she asked "so what is what?"
I gave her examples, nation's was standing for itself (Tnoova's protest, the recent one, against the new owners from China, and the pepper protest, and the ones about the Cottage Cheese and the apartments prices) and on the humanity is manners and stuff that are accepted in the whole world.
I HATE ROACHES.
.....
It's seven now, I'm on my computer, playing with my phone Icon Pop Song 2, I'm mostly using the answers cheat list, because I rarely know anything, and when I do know, then I do it very quickly.
I have a good comment for you, well, as it seems now, I had a good comment, but I can't find her, so here goes another good opportunity for showing you some sarcastic comments, and the people who thought it was serious.
Some news that are affecting everybody, the peppers protest, the buyers and the farmers (funny because that the family name of the farmer in BATBY is Buyers) are tired of the sky-high prices.
In a cheap supermarket, it costs 6 nis for a kilogram of cucumbers, 3 nis on special sales, and guess for how many nis does the farmer sells it? 0.5 nis for something that's a kilo or more.
OUT-FUCKING-RAGEOUS.
Do you know what I hate?
Liars.
Today, Daniela, my friend, called me ugly, I took it harder than I should, and I know that I know better than that.
And today, Yael said to me that my face reminds her of a model or an actress, I shrugged her off with telling her that she's hallucinating, and that too much adrenaline is not healthy.
I don't know which one is the liar, a part of me says that it's Daniela, but a
Logic of low self esteem.
I showed my mother an article on GiftedUnschooling, she didn't like that, sometimes I forget that my English skills are above the average of my age, and maybe overall above, after all, there are many people in Israel who couldn't afford English education when they were young (I'm talking about people who are 40+) and there are the Arsses (maybe arss works?) who will never bother with English.
People say that Arsses is an offensive racist definition (I think that a false stereotype is an offensive, but legitimate racist things are okay with me, the cunts who aren't willing to be called by their skin tone should basically die, both yellow asians, white crackers, and black people, usually called niggers) and some say it's a trait.
I consider it as a personality type, it's something in your behaviour.
Awful, disgusting, sort of a behaviour, that should probably be eliminated, but still one.
I hate how loud, disrespectful, rude (not even sarcastic rude, or mildly rude, they are plain assholes), trashy, imbeciles, ignorants, and a lot of more stuff they are!
So I'm loud, I usually control it, but sometimes my super-bionic-vocal-cords that can be compared to a construction site's noises, and I disrespect stuff, always the thing that deserves it, I'm sarcastically rude, and can be mildly rude, when needed, of course, trashy I am not, unless I'm sarcastic, imbecile, well, I'm have many ages that I live through, so sort of, maybe, ignorants, haha! No!
If you judge by traits, than I'm an Arss.
By behaviour, well, I'm just a fucking blogger, on Blogger, and it's my blog, I have this blog for over a year, and I blog for over two years, so I own this URL and live in it.
Well, I explained something to a girl, about national values and humanity values, and she didn't understood what it meant, thanks to their awful use of words.
I said " values of the nation and values of the whole world, like ethics and stuff"
She said in response: "Ethics?"
I wasn't very surprised, it's just how much I love law, and morals, and doctor shit.
I explained with "Like rules and internal morals"
Then she asked "so what is what?"
I gave her examples, nation's was standing for itself (Tnoova's protest, the recent one, against the new owners from China, and the pepper protest, and the ones about the Cottage Cheese and the apartments prices) and on the humanity is manners and stuff that are accepted in the whole world.
I HATE ROACHES.
I WISH I COULD DESTROY THEM ALL.
I CANT STAND THEM.
I THINK ITS BETTER TO KILL MYSELF.
ILL NEVER BE CURED FROM THE FUCKING FEAR.
....
A hour and a half have passed.
After my successful calming session (I do them better than any other certificates therapist, I know what I need to be calm) I planned my fucking self harm and maybe a suicide attempt in it.
I planned to make a couple of diagonal cuts on my thighs (I know that on the wrist they can't stitch it when it's it vertically, or some reason I think that diagonal will work) and cover it in some fabric or plastic, and just cry a lot.
Let me explain why I was so hardcore in my reaction.
I was massively triggered when I overheard my mother complaining in front of my siblings about how much over-dramatic/emotional/reactive I am about it.
She blamed me for everything.
I was so lost in that moment, I started to even blame myself for believing that people ever wanted me alive.
I just decided I'm better of that, for me, and for everybody else.
She ruined me, another she ruined me, some he ruined me, so many ruined me, an now, I'm stuck with extreme fear, commitment issues (as my therapist said, aint I too young for having commitment issues? I'm supposed to be thirty and single before it, don't I?), trust issues, and a very low self esteem and deep hatred for myself, and sometimes huge love, pretty much a pathetic narcasism.
So what if I'm smart, and I have brilliant ideas.
It doesn't worth anything when I'm such an awful person.
I always thought that Stalin's saying about that the biggest problem of humanity is humanity itself, and I thought that it's best to kill many people, as we over populate the planet.
And I always added afterwards Gandhi's saying that you should start the change you want to see.
Maybe I should finally put my faith in my ideas...
I'm sorry if you were in a bad mood before, and somehow I cheered you up and now I'm awful and it might've showed you that even when I say that I'm here to show you that no matter what you should stay alive, I lie.
I'm so sorry.
Happy weekend.
I guess I'd watch suicide room and cyberbully.
And cry when I get the feeling.
Cyberbully is in some way my life.
Only that instead of a guy that "slept" with me, it was a girl that was my "friend".
Only the thought makes me want to hurt myself.
Or just snap and hurt Yali.
After all, I'm thirteen, they can't judge me before fourteen!
Proceeds to laugh like a maniac, after all, I plan to fucking hurt her, she deserves it, maybe a couple of vertical cuts on her right wrist, after all, best friends are each other's matching halves!
Hahaha.
I cheered you up, didn't I?
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