Um, today I did plenty of homework, and went to a movie.
Into The Storm.
In my opinion, it was awesome.
I just enjoyed every minute of it.
People just graded it to this low because they enjoy to be farty (so many farty people!) and be shitty.
The movie was great.
Some people said that the gimmick of the camera of the characters was lousy. I strongly disagree, that just made the movie much better, without it, the movie wouldn't be as good.
I also think that it's better than 2012, at the disaster movie thingy.
In other news (I don't want to spoil the movie), I texted my mother, inspired by Shira's words (she asked me to go to the movies with her), I asked for Gal's mother's number.
I think that the number is not active.
I didn't get any response.
It saddens me.
I just miss her so much, and I'm afraid to tell it to my parents, I mean, it's pretty simple to understand why I want (I feel like I need her) her back, but still, it's like being in an abusive relationship, that makes you feel both great and both terrible.
I just feel trapped.
My mother questioned me about why I needed the number.
I obviously lied.
I just want her back, she probably doesn't think about me as much as I do, and she probably wish that we never became friends.
Maybe I shouldn't try to become friends with her again... Maybe...
Psstt... Hey! I'm spotting a common emo in the wild, named emovampire.
I don't even know what to do with the rising of emos.
If there's another wave of emos in Israel, which will make sense, if it'd happen, I'd probably laugh my heart off when the arsses will try to fit in, and they'd all be bitter teenagers without much hope... Well I'd laugh until I'd be rageful.
I want to see it happening!
I bet it's more interesting than the smokers or middle-east listeners who just make you suffer.
By that time, I won't be surprised if some of my friends (there's a bunch of guys and gals who are desperate to fit in) will ask me if I can borrow them one of my cds who are associated with new-emo.
And I'd just joke around with Ailail and let everybody listen to Ashland High.
By the way Ashland High, I don't remember if I told you that, but in the flight back, we decided to play hangman, music type, I placed the lines that would fit for "Ashland High" and that was her first guess.
I know! How odd! It was really funny.
Oh, somebody asked for Center meetings.
To be honest, I just guess that they'll go to the super expensive store that includes all kinds of t-shirts for ridiculous prices (hey, I can get that Rock Chang for way cheaper and still original, the super shitty store at the mall sells it in a quadruple price!) and nothing but merch for prices that even the guys of Fueled By Ramen tell you that it's way to pricey.
And these guys had higher shipping than the pre-order largest pack.
And the guys behind the shipping May Death Never Stop You would tell you that it's more unfair than not shipping to Israel.
Okay, in these days, I was thinking more why I need Gal.
Because I don't want to get to the point of "I could have saved her, now it's too late..." I felt this way when she got into depression, and I don't want it to happen to her again.
I just need to get my shit together and save her.
I assume that for now... As always... I'd cover myself in shame, guilt, and other lovely things.
I was chatting with a thirteener who is quite a rebel, he is now outside, late at night, talking with me through his iPad, not wanting to get back home.
And the cherry on the top? He was this way for over four months.
Am I the only one who's worried sick about this stuff.
Oh, he's back in his room, he entered through the window.
OH FUCK.
Guys! Remember that it's more likely to have a surrealistic mate than having peace with Hamas (or something like that)?
Well, fuck you guys, we also got a pierced thirteener who just locks himself in his room and doesn't interact (cough fucking cough Dominik!) and escapes plenty of his everyday life.
I wonder if his Polish.
He is not.
He's a harmer too (yoopideedoo!), and he knows that he probably won't last long, he gives himself 21.
If it's a serving and a suicide, I'd better find him.
Selfish and truthful: I don't want another one's blood on my already red hands.
I asked him if he has siblings, he does. Two.
Just like me.
Oh, he planned to have a tongue piercing and an eyebrow piercing, he already has one lobe (how strange, I never understood one sided lobes, but I guess people do that) and probably other thingies.
He has a ten and six year old brothers.
I asked him "Don't they miss you?"
I know, how hypocritical of me, right? Guilt tripping.
They do.
Am I the only one who feels utterly shattered.
I mean, life can be so fucking shitty for some people.
I'm glad I'm alright.
Well, for now.
I mean, ISIS doesn't really care about Israel, so we have time.
Brits don't become Jihadists in Israel.
The UN's soldiers are kidnapped (and I believe that one was beheaded) by the rebels and in Israel we are just giving them the casual comments that they usually give to us when one of our soldiers is kidnapped and we're going bat-shit crazy.
I don't want to be away from my siblings.
I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable, I just don't want people to be this way.
It hurts like a fucking bitch,
The least you hurt, the better it is.
The more you help, the better it is.
I assume it's my way to fix my wrongs.
How pathetic, I know.
I feel like I'm about to drown in my pitiful pool of lies and pain of others.
I'm probably going to finish my homework and buy wax stripes and *just maybe* go visit the one I crave to see again, hear, talk to, anything would do.
I know that it's probably the most reckless, stupid, masochistic, and emotional thing I'm going to do.
It's one thing to self harm, it's a whole new other level to meet a person that people don't really understand the relationship.
I've compared it before to an abusive relationship, but the only abusive thing is that I am doing this to myself, I'm freely hurting the one I love and therefore, hurt myself.
Some sort of a vicious cycle, isn't it?
Anyway, I feel like my happiness is coming from the realisation that I wasn't really supposed to be here, and even though I am.
My grandpa? Well, some germans tried to... Well... You know... Murder him and commit genocide...
And then my dad, well he was supposed to marry a relative, but in the end he married my mother (phew, almost lost myself, didn't I?), and then, I was supposed to be a boy.
A boy? A boy!
Why is that? Well, my mother went on special diet for having a female.
And I was born purple, I choked.
And I had a huge birthmark with a nevus inside of it.
And it's quite weird, I love it, it means that my body is strong, the people who were with me are strong, and I just slipped through the cracks.
He asks me how many boyfriends I've had.
I told him none (which is pretty accurate).
He asked why, and told me that I don't have to if it's personal.
I told him that I'm not really asked out because I'm not an attractive spot and I don't really feel the need in a partner.
I'm going to bed, I need some good ol' healthy sleep.
Into The Storm.
In my opinion, it was awesome.
I just enjoyed every minute of it.
People just graded it to this low because they enjoy to be farty (so many farty people!) and be shitty.
The movie was great.
Some people said that the gimmick of the camera of the characters was lousy. I strongly disagree, that just made the movie much better, without it, the movie wouldn't be as good.
I also think that it's better than 2012, at the disaster movie thingy.
In other news (I don't want to spoil the movie), I texted my mother, inspired by Shira's words (she asked me to go to the movies with her), I asked for Gal's mother's number.
I think that the number is not active.
I didn't get any response.
It saddens me.
I just miss her so much, and I'm afraid to tell it to my parents, I mean, it's pretty simple to understand why I want (I feel like I need her) her back, but still, it's like being in an abusive relationship, that makes you feel both great and both terrible.
I just feel trapped.
My mother questioned me about why I needed the number.
I obviously lied.
I just want her back, she probably doesn't think about me as much as I do, and she probably wish that we never became friends.
Maybe I shouldn't try to become friends with her again... Maybe...
Psstt... Hey! I'm spotting a common emo in the wild, named emovampire.
I don't even know what to do with the rising of emos.
If there's another wave of emos in Israel, which will make sense, if it'd happen, I'd probably laugh my heart off when the arsses will try to fit in, and they'd all be bitter teenagers without much hope... Well I'd laugh until I'd be rageful.
I want to see it happening!
I bet it's more interesting than the smokers or middle-east listeners who just make you suffer.
By that time, I won't be surprised if some of my friends (there's a bunch of guys and gals who are desperate to fit in) will ask me if I can borrow them one of my cds who are associated with new-emo.
And I'd just joke around with Ailail and let everybody listen to Ashland High.
By the way Ashland High, I don't remember if I told you that, but in the flight back, we decided to play hangman, music type, I placed the lines that would fit for "Ashland High" and that was her first guess.
I know! How odd! It was really funny.
Oh, somebody asked for Center meetings.
To be honest, I just guess that they'll go to the super expensive store that includes all kinds of t-shirts for ridiculous prices (hey, I can get that Rock Chang for way cheaper and still original, the super shitty store at the mall sells it in a quadruple price!) and nothing but merch for prices that even the guys of Fueled By Ramen tell you that it's way to pricey.
And these guys had higher shipping than the pre-order largest pack.
And the guys behind the shipping May Death Never Stop You would tell you that it's more unfair than not shipping to Israel.
Okay, in these days, I was thinking more why I need Gal.
Because I don't want to get to the point of "I could have saved her, now it's too late..." I felt this way when she got into depression, and I don't want it to happen to her again.
I just need to get my shit together and save her.
I assume that for now... As always... I'd cover myself in shame, guilt, and other lovely things.
I was chatting with a thirteener who is quite a rebel, he is now outside, late at night, talking with me through his iPad, not wanting to get back home.
And the cherry on the top? He was this way for over four months.
Am I the only one who's worried sick about this stuff.
Oh, he's back in his room, he entered through the window.
OH FUCK.
Guys! Remember that it's more likely to have a surrealistic mate than having peace with Hamas (or something like that)?
Well, fuck you guys, we also got a pierced thirteener who just locks himself in his room and doesn't interact (cough fucking cough Dominik!) and escapes plenty of his everyday life.
I wonder if his Polish.
He is not.
He's a harmer too (yoopideedoo!), and he knows that he probably won't last long, he gives himself 21.
If it's a serving and a suicide, I'd better find him.
Selfish and truthful: I don't want another one's blood on my already red hands.
I asked him if he has siblings, he does. Two.
Just like me.
Oh, he planned to have a tongue piercing and an eyebrow piercing, he already has one lobe (how strange, I never understood one sided lobes, but I guess people do that) and probably other thingies.
He has a ten and six year old brothers.
I asked him "Don't they miss you?"
I know, how hypocritical of me, right? Guilt tripping.
They do.
Am I the only one who feels utterly shattered.
I mean, life can be so fucking shitty for some people.
I'm glad I'm alright.
Well, for now.
I mean, ISIS doesn't really care about Israel, so we have time.
Brits don't become Jihadists in Israel.
The UN's soldiers are kidnapped (and I believe that one was beheaded) by the rebels and in Israel we are just giving them the casual comments that they usually give to us when one of our soldiers is kidnapped and we're going bat-shit crazy.
I don't want to be away from my siblings.
I feel like I'm making him uncomfortable, I just don't want people to be this way.
It hurts like a fucking bitch,
The least you hurt, the better it is.
The more you help, the better it is.
I assume it's my way to fix my wrongs.
How pathetic, I know.
I feel like I'm about to drown in my pitiful pool of lies and pain of others.
I'm probably going to finish my homework and buy wax stripes and *just maybe* go visit the one I crave to see again, hear, talk to, anything would do.
I know that it's probably the most reckless, stupid, masochistic, and emotional thing I'm going to do.
It's one thing to self harm, it's a whole new other level to meet a person that people don't really understand the relationship.
I've compared it before to an abusive relationship, but the only abusive thing is that I am doing this to myself, I'm freely hurting the one I love and therefore, hurt myself.
Some sort of a vicious cycle, isn't it?
Anyway, I feel like my happiness is coming from the realisation that I wasn't really supposed to be here, and even though I am.
My grandpa? Well, some germans tried to... Well... You know... Murder him and commit genocide...
And then my dad, well he was supposed to marry a relative, but in the end he married my mother (phew, almost lost myself, didn't I?), and then, I was supposed to be a boy.
A boy? A boy!
Why is that? Well, my mother went on special diet for having a female.
And I was born purple, I choked.
And I had a huge birthmark with a nevus inside of it.
And it's quite weird, I love it, it means that my body is strong, the people who were with me are strong, and I just slipped through the cracks.
He asks me how many boyfriends I've had.
I told him none (which is pretty accurate).
He asked why, and told me that I don't have to if it's personal.
I told him that I'm not really asked out because I'm not an attractive spot and I don't really feel the need in a partner.
I'm going to bed, I need some good ol' healthy sleep.
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