Bipolar

Bipolar is some start of mental illness.
Demi Lovato had it.
I don't.

I just thought that because its about two sides it's really matching.

So I missed my smart friends that I usually meet at our special school once a week and when I'm there I'm missing my everyday friends.


So I set and thought -not really- and I want to accomplish things that is possible on my age and my possibilities.

I'll try to write a novel.
Not very long, about 200 pages -at least 150- an with few rules.

I'll try to make logos for small businesses.
I'll do it for free using adobe photoshop.



Pretty easy ain't it?
It is.


So now it's 10:22 pm (it's 5 hours from the upper part) and I have another mission.


Learn to code.



So there is code project to teach students to code and learn to use at computer technology.
I'll want to do it.
Maybe I'll come with startup?
Like Waze has made by Israeli guys.
And so many more has invited on Israel

If thinking of it, Israel is a small -small… haha…- tiny country and look, look what we have done on this short 64 years!
Thousands of problems and hundreds of great things.

Ties.

It's strange that I don't miss Itay anymore.
It's actually REALLY fun when he's gone.
Exhibit A:
I laughed a lot with Yali & Gal today and had so much fun.

Done with the case.


I think I finally found my place.
With the geeks.
It's something that really hidden well.
They are so cool!
They are true, they are funny, they are smart, and none of them is afraid to be the real him.
I could spend weeks talking about Xbox or iPhone and the up & downs of Samsung galaxy, or watching videos of smosh and figuring the best way to play Black Ops II.
It's beautiful.

So yeah, I'm not girly girl.
So what?
Girly girls sucks!
All the girly girls I know that completely girly I can proudly name them, HOES.
I can stop planning revenge on the girls from the other class.


If talking about class…
On the end of the year -very soon!- we'll have SEX EDUCATION.
Awful isn't it?
At least there's separation between girls and boys.
There is a thing that in every Israeli six grade classes together here are the one or two guys that got laid and they are the kings and the other two girls are now known as whores or popular.

So I lately checked the tips for a successful blog on WikiHow.
And I was happy to find I did all the steps WRONG.
If thinking of it, when you have tons of fan you don't appreciate it so much.
I appreciate my few readers that each one got his own epicness.


I hope that no one that I'll love be needed to a dictionary.
Because every-freaking-one misspelling in purpose and writing in double letters an its not cute.
It's fucking stupid.


I difriended someone.
Maya (ds) is acting like a low lame hoe.
She acts dumb,
She acts like she's sexy,
She acts like she's cool,
She just needed a slap… from a chair… that seated on a blind person… with a gun… that shoots with every hand moving or noise…



So for happy ending here is Berrypouson and his brother BlueTayls.
And their official nail art

Meet Berrypoison!

Here is our new blog goddess named…

BERRYPOISON!!!

So he has cute ribbon and stitches and button eyes and weird stuff…

And my YouTube friend.

Berrypoison?

I'm still thinking on a name.

Blueberrytayl is too long.
Bluetayls is cute and so does Berrytayls.
But I thought about a name that will be unique after this blog and his fans you little berries.
So Bluepoison sounds weird for the cutest doll ever.
And Berrypoison sounds adorable.

So I will pick a name much later.

I've got news from old story.
Ido liked my incredibly goofy picture.
And you are more then invited to check y profile and search for it and not finding a thing because I'm being the safest as possible when it's about online.
It's better to be quite online.
Nobody can caught you by the word you statused.

I hope my hoeness rush expired today.
Because I need to be dominated (on life. not in sex) I need to be controlled under a safe and known system.
I hate being somewhere I don't know without a system.


So after reading Shadow Land (from The Immortals series the includes: Eternal Flame, Forever, Blue Moon, Shadowland, Dark Flame, Night Star, Everlasting) and I REALLY WANT THIS DAMEN GUY DIE.
Just hit him in his Karma chakra.



I think I'm starting to let Itay go.
Like he's freaking bird that tired from being in the cage in my small bloody heart.
I never wanted him in.
I never wanted someone to be in.

So now I have something to think about twilight jokes.
Beside the pars their fucking awesome you need to think about it the it doesn't matter if he is a vampire.
It doesn't because who say he'll love you.
You supposed to want the love not the sparkling.
And that's for dumb girls who want sparkles as their boyfriend.


Today a friend (who is a girl) came to our house because she is friend of my small brother.
Two funny things occurred.
First the girl set alone on the chair and I was sure that my sister got shrunk.
The second is when her brother and her father came to pick her up and he play with some bouncy ball and it falled next to me so I took the ball and said "Hey ****" (the name of my brother) without looking and then I looked and I figured his not my brother.

So here some songs to feel like MR. POTATO McCHIPS.

Olgakay

I just want Saftypin!

Olga Kay is a -pretty awesome- YouTuber. She has something about 3 charters, Razorblade (Stacy), Jiggly, Bubbly.
She is epic.
And I totally in love with Safetypin.

So I'll probably making one of my own.
I'll name it something probably with cherry or something.
Just anything that have food in the name.
Jelly, cherry, apple, blueberry.

So the main design is this:

I want to have a little doll!
Like cute and creepy one!
And I want a purse.

Gosh!
Am I a hoe?!



So today I felt hoeness (?).
I said "Lameness" on some stuff my sister told me.
I think most of stuff is lame and full of lameness.
Just never told it out.

I hate this hoe confidence.
Like no one likes them -sorry- but it's stupid to act so sure at yourself.
I want my old back.
I think I'm dyslexic.

Well, it's just the words got messed for me when I write (Hebrew & English) and it like on the very light level.

On this thing I'll probably write "Warning! attention seeking whore!" but now I am her.
I can't handle with it.

It's so weird to be someone you hate.

Yesterday I thought I'm tayling.
I were sure I were mini girl taylo.
Everyone agreed with me and were with me.
And I argue with one of my goodest friend.

The epic new name of Blueberry is:

Blueberrytaylo.

Low

I hate many things.
About myself, about others, about many other things.
Just I'm a hater (which I hate people who think they have haters) of the world.

So why I hate people who think they have haters?
It just disturbs me that people think they're incredibly popular with their pathetic 9 views every 2 weeks.
No offense but its weird because no one hates you.
You are EPIC. NO ONE hates you.

I don't have haters, like yeah… people disliking me.
But they not at hating level.
There is a clear line between disliking because you're not friendly or nice between hating from jealously or unkindness.

I don't like people who…
Well, I just don't like people.

Fun fact:
My cousin says that Itay is a name of hot guys.
She had a boyfriend named Itay.
I hope I will have too.

Ankles

Achilles' heel, or, as everyone knows, a term vulnerabilities. Achilles was the most powerful man in all of his body Besides a small pair of heels that were used in all strategic victory for him.
So what makes Itay so different?

Itay's ankle got hurt somehow and now he walking as fast as the slowest turtle.

I hate loving him.
Sadly, I can't control about it or even make him like me.

So he walked (walked... *grin*... walked...) before me and I was pissed from slowlyness so I almost puked my words and it came like
"Maybe slowe..?! Oh... right... sorry..."
And I felt...
Nothing.

What happening?
Am I stopping to love him?!
Am I letting go?!

Joy division.



So I've got something.
I had to do guided thinking for you, Ok?
See your past.
Are you watching all the awful things you've been last year? Remember the time you fall in the mud and sank in.
Do you remember?
Do you want to change it?
If you don't-find another
If you do, read more.
Imagine now how it would be difference from where you are.
If the one you love be with you you'll be happy, right?
Think now if he'll act cruel -as a joke- to your friend. It's a trusted friend and it's or him or your friend.
Sadly you picked your love. And he dump you.
You've got back for the warm nice mud, and your friend isn't there to get you out.
White voice came in, your imagination reversed to the first mud.
Now, imagine this:
The guy you like- he's dead.
He died from a duck that were in alien costume who rided in a B.M.W who crashed the guy (or girl).
He's gone but time has passed and you're getting closer and closer to be the happiest person in the world.

No find that your life could suck.


The epic end, my poisoned army.

Ooooo sounds mysterious!
If you'll had ideas to call an army name for my youtube video (coming soon!) comment below (I;m speaking youtubish!)

It's strange.

I feel obnoxious (word the I learned today) while people say th...
I swear my computer just "psstttt!" me!
Oh it were a messege.
So people who say cutters are annoying.
It's not fair.

You can't judge and post it to the world before you know how they feel.
Some cutters do it for *PREVENTING* suicide.
And really... Do you want those thousands of people die.... Because of you?!

Hate are spreading.
By who?
Some from me... Some from others....
I don't understand why there are bitches in the world.

Specially the girls from the other class. I feel uncomfortable near they're bee-queen.
Like they're buzzing around her for hours.
Like Gigi from wizards of waverly place and her tails!



I'm in hate with a female TAYLO!
fuck it!
I hate her.
Like I'm getting really friendly with other people who definitely out, up and away from my personal league.

And they're going with it!

But then with bees I feel so uncomfortable.

I just feel like a deer in lion cage.

A baby deer in adult lion cage.

Lions who ate their regular food waiting for a sweet small snack.

First the queen check the food and let the king help her.

Then tiny bite in the belly to check the taste.

approved.

then, the baby will die in their stomach liquids.

So I'm starting to think about writing a book!

like.. a novel.

About this superhero things.

or maybe about girl who get her life just like me.

Maybe...

It's strange to be without him around.

Like I'm living as who people know me without any type of spirit.

I'll just miss him.

set aside and whimper quietly and say his name until i'll see his face saying "what's wrong with her?"

Just miss him.

For now i'm getting my desk nicer to my author needs and for uploading to the awesome application "Desk" and by the epic site "WikiHow"

Hi.

I wonder why those days are getting worse.
My mask is better.
People getting to know me... At least the masked one.
And I do what I like.

Does it too much?
I can't live with those days.
I don't know why.

On winter I'm likely to get in depression.
Every year it happens since the change.
It happen and the cure it's weather.

But now...
WHAT NOW?
I hate this life.
I hate the life i'm living.
I hate that I can't suicide.
Because I'm afraid, and because I know somehow I'll miss this life, and I know that I'll miss something.

And I hate the new me!
I hate this freaking child I've became!
I hate she masks every single thing.
I hate she lies and can't stop with it.
I hate she do all the wrong things.
I hate she don't get what will happen.
I hate her.

But, one problem.
I can't murder someone just because I hate him.
I should die.
I wouldn't be surprised at all if one day I'll read a comment on video and see comment says "go die" or something alike.
But I can't.
People who don't actually live can't die.
Simple math.

And I'm so sorry if you're like me or I affect you.
Another reason to hate me.
And I let everyone hate me.
Because like if you love yourself then everyone can love you, just... Opposite.
Nobody likes me.
Nobody but loneliness.

And I wonder why me, like I know my life aren't perfect, no one does.
But so many other deserve it.

I know now why I picked to hang out and have only guy-friends.
Because, the girls I mate make me be sure that all the girls are cruel.
And I picked the gender that seemed perfect to me.
But I knew that if I want boyfriend it's better to don't ruin all the relationships with my best friends so I had to change.

WORST MISTAKE EVER.

I just want to say.
There is hope.
Like in Pandora's box where under the whole terrible things where fragile winged hope.
And one day this fragile hope come to you and light your day.

I miss him.
And I miss love.

Tiara

Once upon a time were a girl who were tired from life.
So she tried to get out of it.
She failed and went to sleep so she could dream for a better life were books and movies came alive and ask her to be the hero, and beloved, and be…
Happy.
Somehow, she couldn't dream.
She leaded to the frightening moment of being in a shell of normal girl.
She wondered why she didn't dreamed last night.
She waited to meet her beloved that never could be hers.
She wanted that he told her that he love her.
She wanted everything he'll never give her.
She wanted to feel better.
And then,
When she reached to her bed.
A show started.
She set behind people she never met.
And watched a play.
There were no actors.
There were no music.
There were no lights.
There were voice who red her life.
He says everything that happen to her.
And then, suddenly a light came in.
Showed the voice, the brother of the guy she likes.
He says how much this girl is powerful.
How much beautiful.
How smart.
How special.
And last he rode something.
About how she had been treated.
How she felt.
How she fall to his brother.

But suddenly a music came in.
The awful morning.
She woke to take her clothes and she saw tiara stuck to her head.
Small princess tiara.
Small thing stuck to her.
He wore everything and walked with the shiny tiara on her head.
In school ready for mocking she enters to the worst place to be in.
The cool area, where the boy she likes sit.
One of the cools asked her to come.
She did.
She did the worst mistake.
They asked why she wearing ugly childish tiara.
She stayed frozen until they convinced her to talk.
She asked where his brother.
She walked to the room and said thank you.
She brought him a little note says what she dreamed about last night.
Word in word he said.
And wrote at the end one word with four letters.

Hope.

That was stupid.
I felt today suicideish (it's a new emotion ) like tired from life.
Even Itay complains didn't excited me at all.
I just felt shitty (another new emotion).
The only hope today were the fun kid that says truth.
He said that I'm sexier when I'm crying.
And it made me feel better.
Much better.
It's nice to know there is someone who cheers up.
Someone who don't care.
Someone who is make you feel better.

And after all I felt for evil angel.
Heart ripper.

Even I can't enjoy my life anymore.
The sad thing that I quite like another company.
Company who wants to love life and be silly and be open.
And I do cry and I do smile.
Maybe emotional group could help.
But we live in small place so the chance is lower from loose virginity on first grade.


Can't wait for summer.
To enjoy.

Italy

Pasta, pizza, pork.
All the foods I couldn't eat in Italy.
Why?
Not Kosher at all!
And it was the physical painful i felt since years.
I did snowboard and enjoyed it.
Unfortunately, I didn't saw Itay at all this week and I couldn't see photos and know what with him because the hotel decided that free unlocked wi-fi is too much for him.
I can't wait too see him.
And get hurt to see him living perfectly without me.
And to freeze because i'm out of long jeans!
So I'll might found tons of news (hopping that Itay & Maya broke the fuck up) and I might not.

So good morn' and I hope you had happy -or miserable- Valentine's day!
Because I didn't enjoyes mine and imagined me with Itay and he probably bought her something.

Hmff!

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

I am Titanium

So...
Today I woke at freaking 5 am.
I guess I'm too excited.
I can't wait to snowboarding in Italy!
It's my first time with snow and with *real* ski and snowboard!
The closest thing was fake ski on white wet grass in the Gilboa... I did it with skates (if that's the name).
And I really like Italy because it's the Pasta & Pizza land!

Magnificent.

And I also spelled this word correctly and also correctly the word correctly!
I suck at grammar  but I don't have problem talking as you see because how it spelled is pretty how much like it's sounds.
I don't know to spell grammar. I used the correction (I'm correct champion) in the Blog post publishing correction.

I don't know why but Magnificent sounds to me like sarcasm.
Just remind me somehow sarcasm.

Magnificent.

So today I'm (beside packing) going to Yali with Keren to ride bike.
I'm practicing skateboard and hanging out with friends.


I gotta to practice in Chinese.
  Since 'm a mothafucka genius I go to special school once a week and I have Chinese lessons so I need to practice.

I can say what my birth date and how old I am.
And draw it!

For now...
四月十五号

And saying it like this
Sì yuè shíwǔ hào
I can say I'm 十一 years old.

Lately I've been  working on making Scrapbook and Bucket List.
I do my scrap book on some turquoise binder and home made cute stickers.
The bucket list probably be in pocket in the scrapbook and everytime I do one of the bucket list I'll put them in the right page of the scrapbook.


Good morning or whenever you are.

Good morning

Hallelujah

My dear laptop is back and so am I with better posts!
Since Iv'e got a videocam for my lappy *laptop shortcut because his too awesome for regular names* I can Youtube

So how the laptop recovered?
The charger start to make smoke and I didn't charged because I was afraid it set fire...
So today my dad bought me Laptop Universal Adapter that has about 12 different  options.
And I'm really glad that my laptop is back from the dead.

My family and I going to Italy for ski.
I want to start snowboarding because I'm good on surfing and skateboarding, so how hard it could be?
I would like to be in real snow.
The closest for snow I've ever been in is the snow that delivered from Harmon mt. to the city and there's huge snowball fight.
I would like to do angel-snows and snowman and his snowbride and maybe snowbaby.
I just live the dream.

My dream when I'll be big is to move to NYC or California and be like -the awesome- iJustine or Smosh.
I want to complete goals and feel I did my job in the world.
How I'll do it?
Take steps and for now I make sure I'll remember and I'll make it through.
I use Evernote and Flava.

Maybe tomorrow I'll start.
Who knows?
My first dream is to make a YouTube video.
I reached 2/3 steps.
All I need is ideas.
I love you and I love the boy who don't love me back but still alive. And so am I.

You are!
everyday you are showing how awesome you really are.

The Red Socks (and the blue sock)

Is he changing girls like socks?
I'll wish I were his sock.

He like to remind me who his number one.
Definitely not me.

It's so painful to see you and her ugly face in her head lying on your shoulder.
But somehow I always searching you face. Maybe I love just to harm myself and not see me bleeding.
Nothing wonderful in my love life didn't happen since they've started (but a crush on surf boy) and I think they began when I saw TWILIGHT.

Maybe Midnight Sun just gave me the feeling I had when I started with the stupid circle.
It was wrong to let it continue and worse to make it stop.
Just a glance from his beautiful deep grey eyes meeting my poor-girl-who-wants-something-she'll-never-get-means-love stare.
It's terrible I need to see her frog face on you, dancing with you, kissing you on you small blushy cheek.
There are two girl who really really likes you (but not like I love you) and they are popular (not like me - I'm just known as my I don't really know what).
One is short, curly blonde, from Brazil (!), and used to be my best friend.
The other one is wavy brown, frog faced, and dumb as shit.
And you picked the second one.
Why?

And when I start to think you became better.
I was so wrong.
You talked to me, you teased me, you insulted me and we laughed about it together.
Then, crash.
You dance with frog-face.

And I'll wish one day you'll read it and say:
I killed this girl.

I'm swearing I'm crying now invisible dry tears.
I stop myself from crying so you don't need to see the truth I'm trying to keep like in secret.
I remember when Gal came and told him that I don't love him anymore and she said that she saw that he was little sad because no one loves him anymore.
WRONG.
I still love him.
And maybe he see it, maybe he's not.

If I only had Midnight Sun here and Red Moon (my name for New Moon as Edward  version that I was in red moon).
I'll here over thousand times the soundtrack of Breaking Dawn Part 1 and I'll cry because I'll thought it reminds me too much how I feel about Itay.