Stay

There's difference between Arabs and Muslims, but I'll talk about it on Back note.
So another *Arab* killer, in London.
It seems that Panic is the best song for this situation.

Panic in the streets of London, panic in the streets of Birmingham,
I wonder to myself, could life be sane again..

It shows to all the people who lecture Israel to stop bully the Arabs, when they have failing killing and bombing attempts.
All I can say is, Boston, London, you are newbies, Israel in this business long ago, ask Moses.
And seriously, when will people fix their brain and see who are the troublemakers.

So, today it's my school-off-school day, every Thursday I'm going to the geniuses school, and today there were some switch so we started it like that:
Chinese (like always!) -Yiselie hen mei!- and we made symbols from the basics.
Then, animation (it was supposed to be the third and last hour) and I've got all my stopmotion animations.
And then, some circus thing! I learned three Diablo tricks and some floor juggling.

It was fun, I also took the new Magnum, the espresso, and I can say, the pink one it's my favorite.


So let's clear stuff.
My father is now in some town in Detroit, and he's luggage got lost in New York.
I'm not emotionally crazy anymore (stupid distracting period!).


So today I forgot that nobody that I know likes alternative rock, or some rocks and few metal, and it's hard to explain to my pop shiny hits friends about anything I like.

I can make another doll, inspired by anything.
I'll make one and ask you at the bottom where all the comments are, and you'll pick the name, maybe your name, or someone you love... anything.


I just watched this movie, Cyberbully.
I watched it at the last time, half year ago.
I feel it now, if you'd see the changes, the pain there and now.
I feel like I'm falling.


I have good news, I didn't passed on the quiz but the two others did!
It's amazing!


Now I'm hearing the song Stay, or untitled, because they never told it.
I think it's about someone who wants to die, but he trying to convince him to not do it, because he tells him that someone care for them and love them after all it,
And I'm crying now, salty tears coming out of my eyes, making rivers on my cheeks.

It's hard, so hard, try to make yourself to see strong, unbreakable, when the inside, is nothing but broken, shattered.
Your eyes leak, dropping all the pain in liquid.
And you cry far from people you know, to not make them suffer, not make you a charity case, or a pity one to take care of.

I'm blocking again, I'm building this walls, the room for recovery.
Make my feelings hidden. Again.
Leaving my tears for myself.
Hearing about someone that tries to save someone, before it'll be too late.
And I wonder, if one say someone will hear this song, and think about me, because he saved me.
But though, there's a line, more like a question, he asks if there's someone that really cares?
And that's the problem.
What if not?
It's one of the hardest thoughts, and if not, the hardest.

I also heard "Gold" of wake owl.
"But I don't feel like I'm falling, I'm up against the sky"
I believe that after I'll get up, not bleeding like the other time, maybe metaphorically bleeding, but not physically.

Look at the comment.
On stay.

I always cry in this song, I feel broken everyday, I feel dead inside and yet, so alive, the rage making my heart pulse keep beating, but when I'm alone, I cry, I break, I shatter.I guess it's what happens to people who want to end their lives but won't, because they scared, not to hurt themselves, not as much to hurt the ones that loves them.

It's me.
And it's true.

And if you didn't knew, I consider you as my second best friend, I don't know you, but I'm comfortable telling you everything.
Like you are like the nicer version of Patch from cresscendo (hush hush).
And if I had another ways to compare you, but I can't, nothing explains it, you see? you are one of a kind.

And if you feel life doesn't worth it, remember that you are keeping me alive, and if I'll die, the others might want to end their lives, not because I died, because they'll think that it's the on;y soulution.
Maybe it's another reason I'm still breathing, that I'm giving you the soulution.


I'm letting myself break, and bear it underground.

You are might be the best thing that ever happened to me.
People who really listen, or reading (?).


Since it's too much, the feeling, the movie, the song, the situation.
I'm gonna put the picture of the hideous doll, and

What would it's name be?

I want you to pick a name, every name, someone you care about, that this post reminds you, even yourself.

I need to practice saying it more,
So I'll start with you.

I love you, you are the world to me, and I think that I'd die without you, you mean so much.

So you need to promise one thing, and it's in every finishing of post.
You need to stay with me (berries), you need to survive, and you have to make it, okay?

Shattered girl, is going to watch the last episode of the secret circle (again),
And cry and see sad questions in the hebrew site of yahoo.
Like the old times, but now I know what's wrong with me, and what's wrong with the rest -even if I'll keep blaming myself- and I'll sleep and dream, on eveything that night will give me.

Last thing, I consider it as one of my favorite posts, ever, it finally gives me something to hold onto, I hope you'll stay, because I do love you and care about you.


Berries, survivors,
I hope you'll make it.