Musics

If I was the kind of the people who swear, well, I would do it.
Because my mother is fucking hating me.
I just need to remember, 15 days, it's almost two weeks, and it's good, next week I'll surf, so no problem, just about one week.

Why do I even bother fighting my will?
Why to stop when I can go forward?
Ugh, I hate this weird thing, fighting against myselves.
I wonder what I can do, and not getting caught.
I suck at most hiding things.

I should be named Super-Dvash, I have few powers, like being annoying, having guts to do crazy things, easy learning (am I kirbi?), and my most famous one, complaining about first world problems, in this life.

I know what I want now, the room, the laptop, and somebody that don't have the girl bullshit (some females have it, and they won't think the burping is cool), and fucking jump, just jump.
I used to do it back there until I got too big for it, I was inviting friends and in some moment we just took the costumes, wore them all, played some disc I had that had some cheetah or leopard on it, and it has like pop of the 70s or something, and we jumped from the couch to the matters over and over and over until their parents will come.
Just we'll jump on the bed, hearing the spice girls (it's illegal to hate them, you know) one of the most famous songs "Wannabe", and just fucking waste that day, because we can.

So, what can I say, I still dream about this magical abandoned house that I'll hang there with people, it's incredible to have this kind of life, don't you agree?
Have your true friends, together, and fucking waste our time when we're bored, so we'll at least be together.
I'm weird, I know.
But at least I dream.


SUPERSTAR!
I love this movie, I watched it yesterday, and it's fucking epic.
I love movies about people that wants to become celebrities or actors, they are like always coming good (this movie that Disney made with the dogs, just not it)

.....

What? are you fucking real!
Guys, I wrote so much, and it's gone, like it never was here before!
Why the goddamn iPhone app can't do auto-save, it'd save my life, now I have nothing.

Well, since that I can't get the things that never existed real, I'll try my best to repeat (fucking hate to repeat myself, once in enough).

So my music playlist show me how ironic can it be, playing Pretty Boy (M2M) when I texted to this young boy we all know, from unknown reason, I like nicknames better, just easier to manage and talk about them when they don't know that.

And then it played The New National Anthem (Pierce The Veil) and it reminded me, something I wanted to share with you since this very morning, it's not new, it's only halfway new.

Today I've heard a song named National Anthem (Lana Del Ray) and I did it, and I'm not sure if I shall regret or not, it lost the effect that it used to have, instead of setting fire again in my burnt heart, I was numb.

I don't know if you remember or not about my story with many songs and artists, I just start to avoid them, bad memories, ones that won't scar me for life (mentally it happens a lot, physically I have two that everybody can see from past injuries, and only one that I can notice), just reminding me how bad people treat others.

So I barely can get Lana Del Ray through my head, I can hear, no problem, she have a beautiful voice, just that thoughts will land in my head, reminding me scenes, that I loved,  and some, that I hated.

Ms. Kooka used to sing all the time Blue Jeans, she loved Lana Del Ray like she was her idol, I won't blame her, voice like it, life like this, of course it's inviting most, but privacy, I can't stand to position I'm in right now, fame will only make me suffer, I can't let my door closed for a brief moment and I'm upset, so that people will have even a decision in my own personal life? no fucking way! Do I look insane to you?!

Well, it was a bad question, of course I do, but, I hope you understand what I meant.

And on the scrap post that got deleted, I'll try my best.

I also have this story with Paramore, same girl did it, just it's little worse and a little better, it reminds me Twilight and The Hunger Games (both movies that she and I promised to each other we'll go together), and it won't ever happen, exactly when I thought that I won't break promises ever again.

And another similar story, with who else but, Justin Bieber.

About at the middle of May 2010, I stopped hearing and adoring this young Canadian boy (you saw what I did there? I didn't, so would you tell me?), and at this time, a little slut came to my room, we call her MB, as we call her all the time.

She asked me, where are all of my posters (I had about twenty, all around my bed), I replied with the truth (one of the things that she never did), and she asked to get the posters, I was surprised, she likes him, back there I believed her, now? not a single word, I guess that she did everything so I won't have a thing left, jealousy, works in mysterious ways, don't you think?

You know what disgust me?

Most of clothing.

Like, men, women, children, you shall cover your fucking ass and nipples (everyone), I know that your lungs are beautiful and everything, but it won't kill you to cover them, some people did it, and they wasn't sick for years, you should try it too!

So, but it, I like most of women fitted shirts, like come on ladies, nobody have the same figure, not even close, and they most look ugly, because it's out of proportions, for -a very bad- example, I have slight belly, and very thin arms, I'm short, and I'm stuck between clothing lines, because not all of them fit my size, because some reason that you won't be surprised from, every lady had the exact same problem, the stage between being flat as a boy, and with titties, please help us look like unslutty humans with decent taste of clothing.

And many jeans I hate, the stores make pants by sizes of the same shape, it's stupid, because of my muscles in my legs, I have to wear pants that are bigger and longer than me.

You people annoy me.

And also your too high prices, if someone will jump from there, he'll fucking die.

What's the problem of making the simple blazer on 20 Nis instead of 200, it's not fair, it's a basic in a price of a building.

And the funny is that it's looking exactly the same, just the logo and the price, people will pay thousand dollars for a Gucci one instead of ten dollars in Target, you people, make me sick.

Oh yeah, today my mother punished me, three hours without electronics, for nothing.

I didn't touched my eyebrows, but I'll be punished for it.

It's another one of the crazy mysteries of my chaotic mother.

So, anyway, I think it's all.

Today I got waxed a bit, not the whole legs, but whatever.

I just wanted to make sure that you know, another day passed, and I'm still alive.

The process of recovery isn't finished but this record is.

Berries, Survivors, 

I hope you'll make it.