I'm not in school.
Don't be mistaken, I am where school supposed to meet.
Needless to say, I remembered how much it sucks.
Now rven more, since that some girl (Yali) is here.
I can't believe that my tormentor gained her popularity and her army of fans overnight.
I can't stand this girl, she killed my inner self until I became numb, and she got her crown.
Fuckung great.
The queen of hearts from Alice In Wonderland is nicer, she physically shuts you down, and does not torture you until you're incapable to live normally and rains down on you her seeds of mental illnesses.
I got ednos thanks to her, and maybe it's her fault as well that now I can't stand social situations, and constantly having something to do with my fingers so I won't freak out.
Great, now I can't even be a human being, while she is treated like a goddess.
I wish them all to go through puberty. Her, and her loyal filthy servants.
They make me feel sick.
I still can't believe that my friend almost commited suicide, her mother saw her with the loaded gun in her hand and with a knife in the other, so it became to almost and not did.
The fact that upsets me even more, is that they didn't sent her to a psychologist/psychiatrist/another-therapist.
It annoys me.
Sapir is not a bad person.
She's just... Socially awkward.
She doesn't have a good style, and her hair is never fixed, and she's Religous, it's not that bad!
Hell, I've had a makeover myself!
From a fearless tomboy to a bitchy-girly-girl cunt that obsesses about beauty and shit, and I'm glad that I was done with the damn straightener (christians or another believers in satan: see why I hate it: STAN, which if you duplicate one letter it's SATAN. Deal with it, I learned it from the backwardly played records and from Jesus Is Savior), none of the cruel harmful (for me and for my surroundings) behaviour helped me.
I just got my self esteem lower than the dead sea, and somehow I covered it in I don't know what!
I was constantly betrayed on fights I've picked or got picked on by my own fucking "best-friends" (insert the nervous laughter at the beginning of the dubstep I love from Dystopia named Legend of Speo, at the narration part).
I changed everyday to tights without my parents knowing.
Hell, in some point I just broke down on tears after being constantly bullied, I've been called fat, ugly, a monkey (can't blame them, their parents probably called darker skinned people apes or ape-looking and they just learned it), and a lot of words that did certainly not make me any happier.
We all know the story very well from there with extra poofy hair and people who endlessly dye their hair (that really cute scene girl that did rainbow hair once and leopard and she's so adorable!) and the depressing time where I was devastated because that I just lost a girl as a friend and constantly heard Avril Lavigne, because it described perfectly our relationship, and then after I got her back and lost her, I didn't stop hearing Fix You of Coldplay and the rest of the shit.
Oh, and have I mentioned the fact that I stopped eating school meals because of that girly-girl phase but I just ate too much and everyday was a binge day and drowning in calories all the time, now I'm at 47-48, and much more fucked up.
Great.
By the way fucked up, I started reading in My Pro Ana (hence why I'm fucked up, and that's just one reason, don't even get me started!) and I started thinking about that I wouldn't be able to stand it if one or both of my parents would be in therapy, it took me a while to remember that my parents went to there, my father did it again when I was on the second-third grade, when he started learning to be a paramedic, I guess too much death can mentally fuck you up.
Great, now I feel stupid for making up problems even though I don't have any, and that's a problem but it isn't real but it's interrupting and I'm creating dozens of paradoxes and I just can't!
I probably connected it even more thanks to the fact that Sapir went early today to her psychologist (she started recently, and I was aware of that only now) she actually had the ink blob test.
I don't know if it's real name, but it's the name of it in Sims.
It's inkblot, but it's more known Rorschach test.
I find it better.
Her psychologist gets straight to business while mine is talking and drawing.
People should understand that drawing was always important to me (I was the only six year old who didn't draw their suns in the end of their pages) and I just improve,
"Satan is silly as God is."
Don't even say it! How do you think that Jesus Is Savior people will get their money?!
I'm sorry, I just treat this way to religion (as a business that it's only purpose is to empty your pockets and to suck on your lives like leeches) only because that in this specific country, religion is not parted out from the country itself.
I had something to say, but I forgot it.
...
I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
A bit sad, because, well, I'm still alive, in this place, like this, and I damaged my ears, and my hair is in the uncomfortable length, and I got a lot of things to whine about, but fuck it.
YAEL'S BODY IS SUPPOSED TO GROW.
AND NOT TO STAY IN THE SIZE SHE IS.
Why am I so happy?
It'd probably happen in the couple of coming years, and I'll probably think about leaping from a building because I want to die happy, because for once I won't hate myself that badly.
Just wanted to share with you this detail that drives me crazy.
Her bmi is 14.9.
This number is just burnt into my brain.
Well, I should start to get to 46 soon, or that I'll just be stuck forever in this weight.
And soon I'd just be so frustrated with the fact that I'm ruining my health for something that was unachieveable for so long, that I'd just breakdown.
Again.
Like it doesn't happen on regular basis anyway.
I need to weigh less than 35.5 to be skinnier than her.
I need to first lost more than another a person I'd like to weigh less than.
It's frustrating.
I feel already the cloud of despair above me.
And it's not like it's a typical me.
It's a usually hormonal me, and I'm not hormonal now.
For sure.
I'm tired of hearing the word "apartheid" by so many damn politicians.
Unless it's about South Africa, not so far from now.
But in Israel.
If we had apartheid, it could be very interesting.
Imagine all the Jews, Druze (maybe), and Christians, and the shit-ton of cults all together, enslaved by the muslims.
It could be epic.
You know what?
Even a smaller group.
The Druzes!
NO!
BETTER!
BAHA'IS.
FUCK YEAH.
Another stupid person.
Do you understand that when you say that "most of this world's population isn't vegan but it's carnivoran"?
CAN YOU NOT?
Dude, I really hope you're not a carnivoran, because it's so unhealthy!
Please tell me that you're an omnivore.
Maybe you'd save you life or at least save yourself from seeming stupid in front of me.
Omnivores eat both plants and meat, while carnivores eat only meat, and herbivores eat only plants.
It's that simple.
I know it, because of Spore (great game, teaches evolution, religion, how humanity functions, and a lot of things in a fun way!) and thanks to it, I also know that omnivore is the best, I can eat on trees and on my enemies' flesh.
It doesn't matter much when I'm in the city stage, nor the space stage (I completed it with my sister once), afterwards, all that matters is to rule the world, with your army of airplanes, your economical relationships, or your religious preachers.
I loved spore, I always picked military, because it was the easiest to me, than I tried some economy with military, but I need once to defeat them with my talking.
It's great because they usually dance while I'm doing religious stuff, my priest/rabbi/the-muslim-religous-preacher dances, and the people, well they run in circles, panicking.
"NO! NOT RELIGION! NOO!!!!".
Better than my sims being on fire and then like standing normally, like they aren't on fire.
You know, the stuff that Electronic Arts are really weird.
Spore and The Sims is a good start.
EA FOREVER.
AND STRONGHOLD.
May our forces defeat the Snake, and the filthy Pig!
There's another one, but I forgot his name.
I just got my self esteem lower than the dead sea, and somehow I covered it in I don't know what!
I was constantly betrayed on fights I've picked or got picked on by my own fucking "best-friends" (insert the nervous laughter at the beginning of the dubstep I love from Dystopia named Legend of Speo, at the narration part).
I changed everyday to tights without my parents knowing.
Hell, in some point I just broke down on tears after being constantly bullied, I've been called fat, ugly, a monkey (can't blame them, their parents probably called darker skinned people apes or ape-looking and they just learned it), and a lot of words that did certainly not make me any happier.
We all know the story very well from there with extra poofy hair and people who endlessly dye their hair (that really cute scene girl that did rainbow hair once and leopard and she's so adorable!) and the depressing time where I was devastated because that I just lost a girl as a friend and constantly heard Avril Lavigne, because it described perfectly our relationship, and then after I got her back and lost her, I didn't stop hearing Fix You of Coldplay and the rest of the shit.
Oh, and have I mentioned the fact that I stopped eating school meals because of that girly-girl phase but I just ate too much and everyday was a binge day and drowning in calories all the time, now I'm at 47-48, and much more fucked up.
Great.
By the way fucked up, I started reading in My Pro Ana (hence why I'm fucked up, and that's just one reason, don't even get me started!) and I started thinking about that I wouldn't be able to stand it if one or both of my parents would be in therapy, it took me a while to remember that my parents went to there, my father did it again when I was on the second-third grade, when he started learning to be a paramedic, I guess too much death can mentally fuck you up.
Great, now I feel stupid for making up problems even though I don't have any, and that's a problem but it isn't real but it's interrupting and I'm creating dozens of paradoxes and I just can't!
I probably connected it even more thanks to the fact that Sapir went early today to her psychologist (she started recently, and I was aware of that only now) she actually had the ink blob test.
I don't know if it's real name, but it's the name of it in Sims.
It's inkblot, but it's more known Rorschach test.
I find it better.
Her psychologist gets straight to business while mine is talking and drawing.
People should understand that drawing was always important to me (I was the only six year old who didn't draw their suns in the end of their pages) and I just improve,
"Satan is silly as God is."
Don't even say it! How do you think that Jesus Is Savior people will get their money?!
I'm sorry, I just treat this way to religion (as a business that it's only purpose is to empty your pockets and to suck on your lives like leeches) only because that in this specific country, religion is not parted out from the country itself.
I had something to say, but I forgot it.
...
I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
A bit sad, because, well, I'm still alive, in this place, like this, and I damaged my ears, and my hair is in the uncomfortable length, and I got a lot of things to whine about, but fuck it.
YAEL'S BODY IS SUPPOSED TO GROW.
AND NOT TO STAY IN THE SIZE SHE IS.
Why am I so happy?
It'd probably happen in the couple of coming years, and I'll probably think about leaping from a building because I want to die happy, because for once I won't hate myself that badly.
Just wanted to share with you this detail that drives me crazy.
Her bmi is 14.9.
This number is just burnt into my brain.
Well, I should start to get to 46 soon, or that I'll just be stuck forever in this weight.
And soon I'd just be so frustrated with the fact that I'm ruining my health for something that was unachieveable for so long, that I'd just breakdown.
Again.
Like it doesn't happen on regular basis anyway.
I need to weigh less than 35.5 to be skinnier than her.
I need to first lost more than another a person I'd like to weigh less than.
It's frustrating.
I feel already the cloud of despair above me.
And it's not like it's a typical me.
It's a usually hormonal me, and I'm not hormonal now.
For sure.
I'm tired of hearing the word "apartheid" by so many damn politicians.
Unless it's about South Africa, not so far from now.
But in Israel.
If we had apartheid, it could be very interesting.
Imagine all the Jews, Druze (maybe), and Christians, and the shit-ton of cults all together, enslaved by the muslims.
It could be epic.
You know what?
Even a smaller group.
The Druzes!
NO!
BETTER!
BAHA'IS.
FUCK YEAH.
Another stupid person.
Do you understand that when you say that "most of this world's population isn't vegan but it's carnivoran"?
CAN YOU NOT?
Dude, I really hope you're not a carnivoran, because it's so unhealthy!
Please tell me that you're an omnivore.
Maybe you'd save you life or at least save yourself from seeming stupid in front of me.
Omnivores eat both plants and meat, while carnivores eat only meat, and herbivores eat only plants.
It's that simple.
I know it, because of Spore (great game, teaches evolution, religion, how humanity functions, and a lot of things in a fun way!) and thanks to it, I also know that omnivore is the best, I can eat on trees and on my enemies' flesh.
It doesn't matter much when I'm in the city stage, nor the space stage (I completed it with my sister once), afterwards, all that matters is to rule the world, with your army of airplanes, your economical relationships, or your religious preachers.
I loved spore, I always picked military, because it was the easiest to me, than I tried some economy with military, but I need once to defeat them with my talking.
It's great because they usually dance while I'm doing religious stuff, my priest/rabbi/the-muslim-religous-preacher dances, and the people, well they run in circles, panicking.
"NO! NOT RELIGION! NOO!!!!".
Better than my sims being on fire and then like standing normally, like they aren't on fire.
You know, the stuff that Electronic Arts are really weird.
Spore and The Sims is a good start.
EA FOREVER.
AND STRONGHOLD.
May our forces defeat the Snake, and the filthy Pig!
There's another one, but I forgot his name.
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