Oh fuck.
When was the last time you saw a girl, sticking her finger to her throat, attempting to purge that food she just ate?
And her friends wanting to film her.
I sat, not moving (paralyzed from shock and fear) and looked into her eyes, I was so afraid, it thought about all of my moments, attempting and succeeding on doing it, on my first time, gagging and smiling giddily and telling myself that I'm a good girl, from coughing and puking the pastelic versions of green and brown and white, all while trying to see through my watery eyes, and ignore the acid-like substance that was on my tongue.
When I pleaded her to not do it, she asked why, and I stuttered as I talked, "don't do it, you'll screw up your body, please -don't do it."
I'm sorry, but I can't.
I won't ever let somebody ruin their body this way, or any other similar way (don't screw your health), let alone encourage it.
I like this phrase.
"Let alone"
I don't know why, I just do.
....
I'm home, I'm still a coward, I'm terrified from the thought of ever going to serve this country this way, it's not that I hate the country that much, of course that I despise many things about it, and this country can bring you a lot of shame, but, I live in here, I'd rather serve the country in another way, not this one, I'm just not built for that shit.
I have a heart, of course that it's covered in five layers of steel, only to keep me safe, I can't handle almost 3 years taken away from me, I can't stand my time to be stolen, my body physically can't handle it, that's why I was never much of a sleeper, sometimes I need only four hours and I'm good to go, only so I can spend my time on better things.
I still can't handle talking to Gal.
I'm too afraid... From the unknown.
Who will I see when I'd look into her eyes? Her? Probably not, but I'm afraid that I'd see her eyes, seeming hollow, and maybe worse, I won't see her at all...
I'm still to afraid to kill myself.
From one side, I'd hurt my siblings and maybe some people around me, and from the other, if I'd fail, I'd hurt them as well, and I'll again attract more pain for myself.
Wow, religious, underweight, and your account name is brokn_heart, while your age is (currently 23, he was active on his eighteenth and nineteenth years) and your actual name is Andy.
And let me guess, your family name is impossible to pronounce in every other language but Hebrew?
WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?!
I need to hurt them... Bad.
I'm sorry, what's the matter with you?
Is it for his fucking "starbucks" cup?!
...
I can't deal with those stupid damn pills.
Fucking stupid hormones, I can't stand them!
.....
I wasted so much time on fearing my future in the past couple of hours.
Maybe hearing a song that I haven't heard in such a long while will chear me up.
And it's Beautiful Monster, of Ne-Yo.
Okay, now I'm Not Okay.
It's all nightcore anyway, and I hear the first minute or two until I can't do it anymore.
Okay, I just got carried away with some question on fxp (a forum website, you'd hear about it in the future, just like Stips and wikihow), written by a fourteen year old, saying that she doesn't want to grow up.
I don't want to, but I can't stand this way.
I need to disappear, and I've heard that as time pass, it's easier.
Okay, who's the person who put Impossible after I'm Not Okay?!
You just can tell me that everybody I love is dead because they think that nobody cared.
Even though that I do feel this way everyday, each time that I see them, even slightly frown, I just think that it's my fault, for not being enough with them, and not saying the right words, and sometimes it happens with persons that I cared a lot about in previous years.
Okay, it's probably my first time seeing a Black Veil Brides song in nightcore.
I wonder who made it for the first time, because many nightcored songs have multiple versions, sometimes people copy, but good nightcores are actually mixed and has added music on top, to fit the high pitched music, which makes it sound angelic.
Well, my headphones work only in a specific pose, which drives me crazy, I purchased the same kind again, surprisingly, the ones I just purchased are cheaper, way cheaper than the price in the original store where I bought it, or in Sony's website itself, it's surprising because I purchased in Israel.
My head has to be in a perfect horizontal position in order to hear music in both ears.
And I can't even rotate my head forward.
Meaning, my eyes are making most work.
Nevermind, I repositioned my laptop.
I'm listening to Bullet Train.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkime9M4z34
I love it, the mix is gorgeous, I think they once made a chillstep version of it.
There's a song named My Heart Goes Nana.
I'm just imagining the Dubstep video that 5 Second Films made.
At some point the dubstepped guy said "banana".
I just saw a weird title: Beep Beep Beep (goes my ringtone melody)
It reminds me of the So Alone from those video that led me to Studio Killers, it was originally a ringtone, but, it's so deep.
Bring Me To Life nightcore?
Okay.
I remember watching it for the first time, I remember that at some point, a brown bearded guy was on a motorcycle and sang.
And some parts that are similar to the video I found a while ago.
It was about... Four years ago or so.
Wow, it's so strange.
I remember my first sight of the slang word of "wanna".
Okay E.T. is a great nightcore.
I wonder if it's the only Katy Perry or with the rap version.
The chorus isn't as great, quality-wise and editing-wise.
Evacuate The Dancefloor!
It's from Tap Tap 3!
Cascada!
Ka-bam!
I know a lot of stuff about Tap Tap.
Linkin Park had a couple of free demos on the fourth gen, and they a full one, I remember House Music, Sing, and there was another one, but I guess that I didn't play it as often, maybe it didn't have a "hard" option.
http://www.giantbomb.com/tap-tap-revenge-4/3030-34039/
I looked on it, and as the list went on and on, I had a really "impressed" facial expression, seriously, it's so strange!
Phineas and Ferb?! Admit it, it's strange.
Another something I remember from the third generation, Blink 182's All The Small Things, I think it was on hard or extreme.
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I tried to look for Rock Band, since this game always seemed as a good boredom killer.
I found a lot of stuff that for some reason seemed weird.
MANY BAND TRIVIAS.
The funny thing is when I accidentally write a band's name in the app store, some weird ass app comes in.
Umbrella 0 and Umbrella 1 are the apps I found while trying to collect album information for My Chemical Romance, by the way, it's a comics for your phone, pretty good art, I just can't stand reading and watching for a long time.
Part Of Me on here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQa1hkohJYc
Is epic.
I found Guitar Hero cheats and not Guitar Hero itself.
By the way guitars, yesterday, on my way home, I found another funny thing among the teenagers in this city, one guy wore his non-beats headphones (beats are more of a statement accessory rather than a good music equipment) and air guitared, suddenly he saw me coming with my bike, and stopped like nothing happened.
I waited for him to pass, and looked down and smiled.
I'm sorry, it's so amusing, two decades and more ago, it was common as fuck, right now? People will make fun of you.
It reminds me another incident, with the long and black and curly and not well-treated haired guy who heard some sort of metal (I'm pretty sure it was metal) and he looked in my eyes, and I could see how sorry he was.
I obviously smiled down, there's nothing wrong with metal.
Except from the lyrics.
The lyrics that you get connected too, well in those cases, I should be the one with the sorriness in the eyes.
I wonder, who created the first superstition.
But I don't care enough to check it up.
WOW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJlsv04qJ5Q
Can these people reproduce please?
Okay, homestuck information, Aradia is an aries and thirteen years old.
WHO'S ARIES AND THIRTEEN YEARS OLD AS WELL?!
ME!
I can't wait for starting reading it.
....
I'm home, I'm still a coward, I'm terrified from the thought of ever going to serve this country this way, it's not that I hate the country that much, of course that I despise many things about it, and this country can bring you a lot of shame, but, I live in here, I'd rather serve the country in another way, not this one, I'm just not built for that shit.
I have a heart, of course that it's covered in five layers of steel, only to keep me safe, I can't handle almost 3 years taken away from me, I can't stand my time to be stolen, my body physically can't handle it, that's why I was never much of a sleeper, sometimes I need only four hours and I'm good to go, only so I can spend my time on better things.
I still can't handle talking to Gal.
I'm too afraid... From the unknown.
Who will I see when I'd look into her eyes? Her? Probably not, but I'm afraid that I'd see her eyes, seeming hollow, and maybe worse, I won't see her at all...
I'm still to afraid to kill myself.
From one side, I'd hurt my siblings and maybe some people around me, and from the other, if I'd fail, I'd hurt them as well, and I'll again attract more pain for myself.
Wow, religious, underweight, and your account name is brokn_heart, while your age is (currently 23, he was active on his eighteenth and nineteenth years) and your actual name is Andy.
And let me guess, your family name is impossible to pronounce in every other language but Hebrew?
WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?!
I need to hurt them... Bad.
I'm sorry, what's the matter with you?
Is it for his fucking "starbucks" cup?!
...
I can't deal with those stupid damn pills.
Fucking stupid hormones, I can't stand them!
.....
I wasted so much time on fearing my future in the past couple of hours.
Maybe hearing a song that I haven't heard in such a long while will chear me up.
And it's Beautiful Monster, of Ne-Yo.
Okay, now I'm Not Okay.
It's all nightcore anyway, and I hear the first minute or two until I can't do it anymore.
Okay, I just got carried away with some question on fxp (a forum website, you'd hear about it in the future, just like Stips and wikihow), written by a fourteen year old, saying that she doesn't want to grow up.
I don't want to, but I can't stand this way.
I need to disappear, and I've heard that as time pass, it's easier.
Okay, who's the person who put Impossible after I'm Not Okay?!
You just can tell me that everybody I love is dead because they think that nobody cared.
Even though that I do feel this way everyday, each time that I see them, even slightly frown, I just think that it's my fault, for not being enough with them, and not saying the right words, and sometimes it happens with persons that I cared a lot about in previous years.
Okay, it's probably my first time seeing a Black Veil Brides song in nightcore.
I wonder who made it for the first time, because many nightcored songs have multiple versions, sometimes people copy, but good nightcores are actually mixed and has added music on top, to fit the high pitched music, which makes it sound angelic.
Well, my headphones work only in a specific pose, which drives me crazy, I purchased the same kind again, surprisingly, the ones I just purchased are cheaper, way cheaper than the price in the original store where I bought it, or in Sony's website itself, it's surprising because I purchased in Israel.
My head has to be in a perfect horizontal position in order to hear music in both ears.
And I can't even rotate my head forward.
Meaning, my eyes are making most work.
Nevermind, I repositioned my laptop.
I'm listening to Bullet Train.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkime9M4z34
I love it, the mix is gorgeous, I think they once made a chillstep version of it.
There's a song named My Heart Goes Nana.
I'm just imagining the Dubstep video that 5 Second Films made.
At some point the dubstepped guy said "banana".
I just saw a weird title: Beep Beep Beep (goes my ringtone melody)
It reminds me of the So Alone from those video that led me to Studio Killers, it was originally a ringtone, but, it's so deep.
Bring Me To Life nightcore?
Okay.
I remember watching it for the first time, I remember that at some point, a brown bearded guy was on a motorcycle and sang.
And some parts that are similar to the video I found a while ago.
It was about... Four years ago or so.
Wow, it's so strange.
I remember my first sight of the slang word of "wanna".
Okay E.T. is a great nightcore.
I wonder if it's the only Katy Perry or with the rap version.
The chorus isn't as great, quality-wise and editing-wise.
Evacuate The Dancefloor!
It's from Tap Tap 3!
Cascada!
Ka-bam!
I know a lot of stuff about Tap Tap.
Linkin Park had a couple of free demos on the fourth gen, and they a full one, I remember House Music, Sing, and there was another one, but I guess that I didn't play it as often, maybe it didn't have a "hard" option.
http://www.giantbomb.com/tap-tap-revenge-4/3030-34039/
I looked on it, and as the list went on and on, I had a really "impressed" facial expression, seriously, it's so strange!
Phineas and Ferb?! Admit it, it's strange.
Another something I remember from the third generation, Blink 182's All The Small Things, I think it was on hard or extreme.
I found a lot of stuff that for some reason seemed weird.
MANY BAND TRIVIAS.
The funny thing is when I accidentally write a band's name in the app store, some weird ass app comes in.
Umbrella 0 and Umbrella 1 are the apps I found while trying to collect album information for My Chemical Romance, by the way, it's a comics for your phone, pretty good art, I just can't stand reading and watching for a long time.
Part Of Me on here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQa1hkohJYc
Is epic.
I found Guitar Hero cheats and not Guitar Hero itself.
By the way guitars, yesterday, on my way home, I found another funny thing among the teenagers in this city, one guy wore his non-beats headphones (beats are more of a statement accessory rather than a good music equipment) and air guitared, suddenly he saw me coming with my bike, and stopped like nothing happened.
I waited for him to pass, and looked down and smiled.
I'm sorry, it's so amusing, two decades and more ago, it was common as fuck, right now? People will make fun of you.
It reminds me another incident, with the long and black and curly and not well-treated haired guy who heard some sort of metal (I'm pretty sure it was metal) and he looked in my eyes, and I could see how sorry he was.
I obviously smiled down, there's nothing wrong with metal.
Except from the lyrics.
The lyrics that you get connected too, well in those cases, I should be the one with the sorriness in the eyes.
I wonder, who created the first superstition.
But I don't care enough to check it up.
WOW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJlsv04qJ5Q
Can these people reproduce please?
Okay, homestuck information, Aradia is an aries and thirteen years old.
WHO'S ARIES AND THIRTEEN YEARS OLD AS WELL?!
ME!
I can't wait for starting reading it.
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