GUYS!
I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.
I'm so sorry!
I'm so so so so so sorry!
I don't think that even that many "so"s will get even close to how sorry I am!
I didn't post in the past couple of days because I was punished to not have anything with technology.
Why? Simply because that on Saturday I didn't want to come to a trip with my family.
I'm sorry, I forgot that my problem with being outside will interrupt your fairly perfect life, and that my only thing that makes me keep my sanity, and I seriously can't live without, is not important to you.
No fucking wonder why am I so expensive.
Therapy that I clearly don't need, because all she's trying/doing is to listen to me and milk information out of me (I was built in a way that information is kept within and the minimum that's necessary is being told, when it comes to written, it's something else) and to somewhat help me to figure my shit out.
Well, to shorten my speech, I got this wonderful place for her first thing, and I had some way to figure my shit out since I was five or so, which helped quite a lot, and I wasn't a burden to everybody, I learned to shut the fuck up and deal with it.
Guitar lessons that I gave up about, I didn't need to feel that unbearable dread and then a continuing stress every week, which was eighty per lesson, which isn't much as others could be, but it adds up.
I'm a fucking pain in the ass, ain't I?
I really need to die.
But this post is coming to tell you what the hell happened in the past couple of days!
On Saturday I read my last two hundred pages on Everlasting.
I was at the end like "WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN" because seriously, WHAT THE HELL ALYSON?!
And on Sunday evening until Tuesday's morning I read four books, all by Becca Fitzpatrick, the writer of the series known as Hush, Hush.
The ending was weird, like good weird, but I really wanted some badass hybrid tale.
Oh well.
It made me wonder, what the hell is wrong with females who write teen books.
In all of the three fictional books that I've read currently (putting aside The Hunger Games, it's a whole other league), which is Matched, The Immortals, and Hush Hush, all of the ideal males are dark skinned with black hair and with "amazing" eyes.
They all wore boots, from Ky's with the notches, to Damen with his motorcycle boots back in the first books (in plural because I haven't read the first one yet!), and Patch (or shall I say, JEV?!) with his boots (which were motorcycle boots as well).
Two of them had something to do with Italy, one came from there, and the other... Well, he started there, and the other one who has nothing to do with it, he simply lived in different "places".
They all teach something incredible and new and rare and for some strange to their girls, from writing, to elixirs, and you know, biblical shit and angels and shit,
In all of the books there is at least one love triangle (I'm slightly getting into the book similarity here), and if not, then multiple, Ky-Cassia-Xander, Damen-Ever-Jude (and in every other life of them), and (Dabria-)Patch-Nora-Dante-Scott-Vee-Rixon and more.
Oh, and how could I possibly forget.
One word.
Black.
Ky wore black because of his aberration uniform.
Damen simply wore it a lot in his first books, more mysterious and dark and spooky (for a guy that gave immortality to a girl, it is spooky).
Patch wore it almost all the time (rare white shirt moments!) and his wings were black as well.
I wonder if all female authors have a fetish for Italian men.
I assume that it's the middle east looks, with the high-fashioned and the italian culture that was built for quite a while (a while means hundreds of years), how can you resist?
It's probably just because I relate that tone of skin to people whom shall I hurt and be angry with it's living, but I'd rather seeing any other skin tone than that, I just can't handle it.
It's too risky, I just can imagine people like that with some sort of a dagger or a knife attempting to stab me, or sometimes with an almost empty alcoholic drink bottle, and just try to fucking imagine how much it scares me.
I was eaten alive with guilt, and sorrows, you wouldn't even believe how hard it was in the past four days without you.
I'm not afraid for the next time that I'd refuse to leave home.
I'm not built for being outside.
Since that the past four days included tons of whatsapping, drawing, and reading, only to distract myself from dealing with the pain caused by being away from you (you guys seriously can never understand how much you mean to me, it stopped being healthy for quite a while, right now? You're the reason that I'm alive, fuck siblings, fuck friends, fuck family, fuck society, I need you!) my days were empty and I felt hollow, a huge part of me was taken away at that period of time, oh, I almost forget, because all of that, I'm going to read the news!
I missed the disasters!
And did you know that a little less than a month ago Creature Feature released a new single!
I was so surprised and happy!
OH FUCK THE NEWS!
I just saw something epic in the Judaism part, it's so epic.
Two prisoners discovered that they are married to the same woman.
It's EPIC.
And the comments are better.
And I had the weirdest (actually not the weirdest but a very weird one) facial expression on my face when I read that, it was a combination between being slightly offended, to a "it's so late at night that I might just laugh if I'd see a fly flying through the hall" so it was awesome, the comment is in the funny Hebrew written through English.
The religious people are living in another world
A white racist person.
Especially the Franks that inside of them [misunderstood word] that lithuanians. When will we get rid of that problem.
Remember my long explanation after surfing a little in the web?
If not, look for it.
Okay, I took a short pause for some Trish like Fish videos, I really like her purse one, I watch it like it's the most beautiful think I've ever seen, and I find it hilarious.
I was "reading" an article about some Bat-Mitzvah dresses and crap, and the comments were great!
I just love that Bat-Mitzvah shufuni bullshit.
And before I'd forget, today I was called "freakishly spoiled" by my mother, because exactly when you're driven crazy between disappointing the people that you truly love and being stressed by having to do some social interactions, it's the best to make your self esteem lower, sometimes I forget that it likes to play limbo, and the crowd which is mostly my mother and occasionally some of my other surrounding, they yell and cheer "how low can you go" and with each passing day, I discover that I can go very low.
Anyway, back to our business!
Alright!
Translated:
"This generation of dumb spoiled [kids] is mostly from the typical uptown crowd
Gal, Tel Aviv
You will find them spoiled in the wealthy neighborhoods in northern Tel Aviv, Savion, Ramat Hasharon [My city!], Kfar Shmaryahu, the rich 'townies' in the beach area, and certain neighborhoods in Hod Hasharon, that's where you'd find them.
The same rich kids that are already carrying an iPhone from the first grade, the girls are dressing up like a typical Nicole Raidman with expensive boots"
It's probably just me, but I adore Nicole, she's so powerful, dominant, stand up for herself, her father as well, but she, she is a person I'd want to be, not for the wealthiness, for her hard-working, for her faith in herself, for her spirit.
Okay, I just saw something great.
Andrew Welsh, a thirty five year old teacher, had sex with a sixteen year old student.
I just loved the pick-up line.
"Have you heard about my maths lesson? We're going to find out if 35 goes into 16"
At least he has a sense of humor, even if it's against the law, it's epic.
I'm hungry, it's two thirty seven am, and my only worry is my hunger.
Funny.
I drew some things in the past couple of days, I'm going to upload it here and say goodbye to that page because it doesn't help me at all.
It's not in the correct order.
But I loved it.
It's three am!
Insane!
I'm watching some Stevekardynal videos, so I don't feel really out of normal.
Oh! I remember some funny creepypasta thing, three am is the witching hour, isn't it?
I can already feel more comfortable... NOT.
I'm not that surprised by it.
Funniest thing, I'm not even tired!
In the past couple of days my sleep was fucked up, from being unable to sleep for two hours and finally falling because my body didn't function, and then to staying awake until the words in the book didn't make sense to me, and now it's three am, I'm sitting on my beanbag, and I'm happy.
I need to sleep, it's unhealthy, and even though that I was never much of a sleeper, I should probably get some rest, and at least act like a partly-normal tweenager, with the bad sleeping habits, of sleeping late at night, and waking up at the noon.
I just want to hear some music, and a lot of Katy Perry songs that I haven't heard in over.... two years!
Wow!
It makes me happy, to think that I changed so much, I still like Katy Perry, she's epic.
I also love Lady Gaga.
That pain, it's like a blood vessel in my forehead is about to explode, I just feel it, it's like full of blood clots that are trying to move with the actual flowing blood and it's painful.
Why does it even hurt?
It doesn't supposed to hurt.
But it hurts less than the hunger that attacked me earlier.
I just think it's like the clock thing in the seventy fifth hunger games annual game, with every "hour" (a period of a couple of minutes) there's new torment arriving.
Fun, fun, fun.
My forehead hurts as fuck.
It's three thirty.
At least I'm with you guys, it makes me feel better.
It's not the fact that it's late and I'm about to laugh from flies, but can you comment?
Please?
For me?
Just kidding, not for me, you didn't do it before anyway.
But please comment so I'd know that I'm alright.
Oh okay the pain is now at my neck.
Funny, I was looking for a bit of Hush Hush series.
And I didn't expect this.
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Too many songs.
But I'm watching now this:
|Hush Hush Series| Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick| Book Review|
I really wish that people would bother and read the whole series and will react.
Including Finale and Silence and Crescendo and Hush, Hush.
IT'D BE SO LOVELY.
So I'm going to write it down, I won't describe too much, and I won't tell what belongs to which book, mostly because that they all kind of mixed together, like it should happen, it's a large story of over thousand and two hundred pages overall, divided to four books.
That book was amazing, I loved all of the characters, the plot twists, there were so many and it amazing!
Oh! I remember that scene, I'm watching the video, and the favorite scene.
That scene was amazing.
There were many amazing scenes.
The amazing beginnings that doesn't seem to relate to anything at first but at the end you're just like "WOW!" and I just wonder wha...
Wait didn't she continue reading?
She's a nephilim, that explained her scar, Chauncy's legacy carries this mark.
And the big badass battle (another thing that was in all of the three serieses, a huge life-changing battle, it also happened in Twilight, but Twilight is another thing) wow!
I'm watching Finale book reviews.
The book's ending was not what I wanted to happen, but oh well, it was a lot better than The Immortals' end.
I really need a life.
I feel like an uncaptured tumblr person who hates tumblr because it's too hard.
In the Blogger system, people can seem nonexistent but it's easier to write and express yourself, on Tumblr, you look for rather short stuff.
And it's really hard to do it through the phone.
Here.
This.
Means.
War.
It's probably the worst thing in using the phone, go fucking figure what they said.
I wonder how can you describe an uncaptured tumblr female.
Fangirl. Definitely a fangirl.
At the age that age-wars and superiority still matters.
I know what I want to do!
I just need to remember what's the name of the album, hip-hop album that was released on my birthday at two thousand fourteen.
I REMEMBER.
PTSD.
Bam, my memory still works at three fifty three am.
I just yawned.
I'm going to watch every single Celebrities Read Mean Tweets video I can.
Why?
Because I can.
Oh and the first is Joel, I love Joel, from The Soup when I was nine...
Good days...
It's amazing.
I'm going to see some Tastefully Offensive things.
I'm starting the third.
And now the fourth.
It's now four am.
I'm going to have pretty nice bags beneath my eyes.
I actually don't mind that.
I have that strange love for the tired look.
Like seriously tired, sick, and on the verge of dying.
It combines emaciated look with the grayish skin tone and being fragile.
I remember being on a thread on MPA, I'm not the only one.
Oh, I really need to watch some Myth Busters.
I'm wasting my time, I haven't ever completed a white night before, funny.
Four thirty.
I'm considering to fall asleep now.
Seriously, good night, if at all.
I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.
I'm so sorry!
I'm so so so so so sorry!
I don't think that even that many "so"s will get even close to how sorry I am!
I didn't post in the past couple of days because I was punished to not have anything with technology.
Why? Simply because that on Saturday I didn't want to come to a trip with my family.
I'm sorry, I forgot that my problem with being outside will interrupt your fairly perfect life, and that my only thing that makes me keep my sanity, and I seriously can't live without, is not important to you.
No fucking wonder why am I so expensive.
Therapy that I clearly don't need, because all she's trying/doing is to listen to me and milk information out of me (I was built in a way that information is kept within and the minimum that's necessary is being told, when it comes to written, it's something else) and to somewhat help me to figure my shit out.
Well, to shorten my speech, I got this wonderful place for her first thing, and I had some way to figure my shit out since I was five or so, which helped quite a lot, and I wasn't a burden to everybody, I learned to shut the fuck up and deal with it.
Guitar lessons that I gave up about, I didn't need to feel that unbearable dread and then a continuing stress every week, which was eighty per lesson, which isn't much as others could be, but it adds up.
I'm a fucking pain in the ass, ain't I?
But this post is coming to tell you what the hell happened in the past couple of days!
On Saturday I read my last two hundred pages on Everlasting.
I was at the end like "WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN" because seriously, WHAT THE HELL ALYSON?!
And on Sunday evening until Tuesday's morning I read four books, all by Becca Fitzpatrick, the writer of the series known as Hush, Hush.
The ending was weird, like good weird, but I really wanted some badass hybrid tale.
Oh well.
It made me wonder, what the hell is wrong with females who write teen books.
In all of the three fictional books that I've read currently (putting aside The Hunger Games, it's a whole other league), which is Matched, The Immortals, and Hush Hush, all of the ideal males are dark skinned with black hair and with "amazing" eyes.
They all wore boots, from Ky's with the notches, to Damen with his motorcycle boots back in the first books (in plural because I haven't read the first one yet!), and Patch (or shall I say, JEV?!) with his boots (which were motorcycle boots as well).
Two of them had something to do with Italy, one came from there, and the other... Well, he started there, and the other one who has nothing to do with it, he simply lived in different "places".
They all teach something incredible and new and rare and for some strange to their girls, from writing, to elixirs, and you know, biblical shit and angels and shit,
In all of the books there is at least one love triangle (I'm slightly getting into the book similarity here), and if not, then multiple, Ky-Cassia-Xander, Damen-Ever-Jude (and in every other life of them), and (Dabria-)Patch-Nora-Dante-Scott-Vee-Rixon and more.
Oh, and how could I possibly forget.
One word.
Black.
Ky wore black because of his aberration uniform.
Damen simply wore it a lot in his first books, more mysterious and dark and spooky (for a guy that gave immortality to a girl, it is spooky).
Patch wore it almost all the time (rare white shirt moments!) and his wings were black as well.
I wonder if all female authors have a fetish for Italian men.
I assume that it's the middle east looks, with the high-fashioned and the italian culture that was built for quite a while (a while means hundreds of years), how can you resist?
It's probably just because I relate that tone of skin to people whom shall I hurt and be angry with it's living, but I'd rather seeing any other skin tone than that, I just can't handle it.
It's too risky, I just can imagine people like that with some sort of a dagger or a knife attempting to stab me, or sometimes with an almost empty alcoholic drink bottle, and just try to fucking imagine how much it scares me.
I was eaten alive with guilt, and sorrows, you wouldn't even believe how hard it was in the past four days without you.
I'm not afraid for the next time that I'd refuse to leave home.
I'm not built for being outside.
Since that the past four days included tons of whatsapping, drawing, and reading, only to distract myself from dealing with the pain caused by being away from you (you guys seriously can never understand how much you mean to me, it stopped being healthy for quite a while, right now? You're the reason that I'm alive, fuck siblings, fuck friends, fuck family, fuck society, I need you!) my days were empty and I felt hollow, a huge part of me was taken away at that period of time, oh, I almost forget, because all of that, I'm going to read the news!
I missed the disasters!
And did you know that a little less than a month ago Creature Feature released a new single!
I was so surprised and happy!
OH FUCK THE NEWS!
I just saw something epic in the Judaism part, it's so epic.
Two prisoners discovered that they are married to the same woman.
It's EPIC.
And the comments are better.
And I had the weirdest (actually not the weirdest but a very weird one) facial expression on my face when I read that, it was a combination between being slightly offended, to a "it's so late at night that I might just laugh if I'd see a fly flying through the hall" so it was awesome, the comment is in the funny Hebrew written through English.
BeYICHUD HaFRANKIM SheBEINEIHAM Ve'GAB HaLITAIM. MATAI KVAR NIPATER MeHaTSARA HaZOT
Oh, okay, it's a sarcastic one, I saw just now the nickname, a racist white person is pretty sarcastic, or extremely self-aware and it made his comment just as rude as it was before.
Translation:The religious people are living in another world
A white racist person.
Especially the Franks that inside of them [misunderstood word] that lithuanians. When will we get rid of that problem.
Remember my long explanation after surfing a little in the web?
If not, look for it.
Okay, I took a short pause for some Trish like Fish videos, I really like her purse one, I watch it like it's the most beautiful think I've ever seen, and I find it hilarious.
I was "reading" an article about some Bat-Mitzvah dresses and crap, and the comments were great!
I just love that Bat-Mitzvah shufuni bullshit.
And before I'd forget, today I was called "freakishly spoiled" by my mother, because exactly when you're driven crazy between disappointing the people that you truly love and being stressed by having to do some social interactions, it's the best to make your self esteem lower, sometimes I forget that it likes to play limbo, and the crowd which is mostly my mother and occasionally some of my other surrounding, they yell and cheer "how low can you go" and with each passing day, I discover that I can go very low.
Anyway, back to our business!
אתה תמצא את אותם מפונקים בשכונות השבעות של צפון תל אביב, סביון, רמת השרון, כפר שמריהו, ה"מושבים" העשירים בשרון, ושכונות מסוימות בהוד השרון. שם תמצא אותם,
את אותם ילדים עשירים שכבר בכיתה א' מסתובבים עם אייפון, הילדות מסתובבות כמו ניקול ראידמן מצויה עם מגפיים יקרים.
את אותם ילדים עשירים שכבר בכיתה א' מסתובבים עם אייפון, הילדות מסתובבות כמו ניקול ראידמן מצויה עם מגפיים יקרים.
Alright!
Translated:
"This generation of dumb spoiled [kids] is mostly from the typical uptown crowd
Gal, Tel Aviv
You will find them spoiled in the wealthy neighborhoods in northern Tel Aviv, Savion, Ramat Hasharon [My city!], Kfar Shmaryahu, the rich 'townies' in the beach area, and certain neighborhoods in Hod Hasharon, that's where you'd find them.
The same rich kids that are already carrying an iPhone from the first grade, the girls are dressing up like a typical Nicole Raidman with expensive boots"
It's probably just me, but I adore Nicole, she's so powerful, dominant, stand up for herself, her father as well, but she, she is a person I'd want to be, not for the wealthiness, for her hard-working, for her faith in herself, for her spirit.
Okay, I just saw something great.
Andrew Welsh, a thirty five year old teacher, had sex with a sixteen year old student.
I just loved the pick-up line.
"Have you heard about my maths lesson? We're going to find out if 35 goes into 16"
At least he has a sense of humor, even if it's against the law, it's epic.
I'm hungry, it's two thirty seven am, and my only worry is my hunger.
Funny.
I drew some things in the past couple of days, I'm going to upload it here and say goodbye to that page because it doesn't help me at all.
It's not in the correct order.
But I loved it.
It's three am!
Insane!
I'm watching some Stevekardynal videos, so I don't feel really out of normal.
Oh! I remember some funny creepypasta thing, three am is the witching hour, isn't it?
I can already feel more comfortable... NOT.
I'm not that surprised by it.
Funniest thing, I'm not even tired!
In the past couple of days my sleep was fucked up, from being unable to sleep for two hours and finally falling because my body didn't function, and then to staying awake until the words in the book didn't make sense to me, and now it's three am, I'm sitting on my beanbag, and I'm happy.
I need to sleep, it's unhealthy, and even though that I was never much of a sleeper, I should probably get some rest, and at least act like a partly-normal tweenager, with the bad sleeping habits, of sleeping late at night, and waking up at the noon.
I just want to hear some music, and a lot of Katy Perry songs that I haven't heard in over.... two years!
Wow!
It makes me happy, to think that I changed so much, I still like Katy Perry, she's epic.
I also love Lady Gaga.
That pain, it's like a blood vessel in my forehead is about to explode, I just feel it, it's like full of blood clots that are trying to move with the actual flowing blood and it's painful.
Why does it even hurt?
It doesn't supposed to hurt.
But it hurts less than the hunger that attacked me earlier.
I just think it's like the clock thing in the seventy fifth hunger games annual game, with every "hour" (a period of a couple of minutes) there's new torment arriving.
Fun, fun, fun.
My forehead hurts as fuck.
It's three thirty.
At least I'm with you guys, it makes me feel better.
It's not the fact that it's late and I'm about to laugh from flies, but can you comment?
Please?
For me?
Just kidding, not for me, you didn't do it before anyway.
But please comment so I'd know that I'm alright.
Oh okay the pain is now at my neck.
Funny, I was looking for a bit of Hush Hush series.
And I didn't expect this.
But I'm watching now this:
|Hush Hush Series| Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick| Book Review|
I really wish that people would bother and read the whole series and will react.
Including Finale and Silence and Crescendo and Hush, Hush.
IT'D BE SO LOVELY.
So I'm going to write it down, I won't describe too much, and I won't tell what belongs to which book, mostly because that they all kind of mixed together, like it should happen, it's a large story of over thousand and two hundred pages overall, divided to four books.
That book was amazing, I loved all of the characters, the plot twists, there were so many and it amazing!
Oh! I remember that scene, I'm watching the video, and the favorite scene.
That scene was amazing.
There were many amazing scenes.
The amazing beginnings that doesn't seem to relate to anything at first but at the end you're just like "WOW!" and I just wonder wha...
Wait didn't she continue reading?
She's a nephilim, that explained her scar, Chauncy's legacy carries this mark.
And the big badass battle (another thing that was in all of the three serieses, a huge life-changing battle, it also happened in Twilight, but Twilight is another thing) wow!
I'm watching Finale book reviews.
The book's ending was not what I wanted to happen, but oh well, it was a lot better than The Immortals' end.
I really need a life.
I feel like an uncaptured tumblr person who hates tumblr because it's too hard.
In the Blogger system, people can seem nonexistent but it's easier to write and express yourself, on Tumblr, you look for rather short stuff.
And it's really hard to do it through the phone.
Here.
This.
Means.
War.
It's probably the worst thing in using the phone, go fucking figure what they said.
I wonder how can you describe an uncaptured tumblr female.
Fangirl. Definitely a fangirl.
At the age that age-wars and superiority still matters.
I know what I want to do!
I just need to remember what's the name of the album, hip-hop album that was released on my birthday at two thousand fourteen.
I REMEMBER.
PTSD.
Bam, my memory still works at three fifty three am.
I just yawned.
I'm going to watch every single Celebrities Read Mean Tweets video I can.
Why?
Because I can.
Oh and the first is Joel, I love Joel, from The Soup when I was nine...
Good days...
It's amazing.
I'm going to see some Tastefully Offensive things.
I'm starting the third.
And now the fourth.
It's now four am.
I'm going to have pretty nice bags beneath my eyes.
I actually don't mind that.
I have that strange love for the tired look.
Like seriously tired, sick, and on the verge of dying.
It combines emaciated look with the grayish skin tone and being fragile.
I remember being on a thread on MPA, I'm not the only one.
Oh, I really need to watch some Myth Busters.
I'm wasting my time, I haven't ever completed a white night before, funny.
Four thirty.
I'm considering to fall asleep now.
Seriously, good night, if at all.
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