I'm leaving.

I really need to stop fearing it.
This morning, after sleeping for around five hours (I fell asleep at four am and woke up at nine) I curled into a fetal position and it took me around ten minutes to start slowly accepting my future, so from a tight curled human armadillo I changed into a mermaid position; I crossed my legs and kept my body as tight and I barely moved.
I didn’t enjoy it, I was really stressed and I didn’t want to do anything.
After thirty minutes I got up, mostly for trying to find some objects that will make me calm, I didn’t find any at the end, but at least I got up, and that’s what really matters, right?

I’m listening now to Snuff of Slipknot.
I remembered that on the third grade, around that time when this asshole kid from my class tried to impress me with him hearing hard rock, and he’s cousin or friend hearing heavy metal.
I remember that or him or his friend heard Slipknot.
Or maybe my memories are just in a mess.
From some reason, I never imagined myself listening to Slipknot.
Considering what happened in the past couple of years, I never imagined myself doing many things.
I always imagined that shit will go bad at fourteen and that extreme joy and mania will flood me.

Oh, a funny thought that passed in my head earlier, after not finding anything I said that in the end I’d find myself tying poems on my wrists.
I just read the Matched series for quite a while to make me remember such things.

You know, there’s one rule that I remember about heavy metal.
It’s a pretty simple one, so I guess that you can remember it.
“No heavy metal until breakfast.”
The teacher for game designing (In Shankar, remember that hell? Where boys that are slightly older than me talked a lot about Yaoi and Hentai and I just tried to not smirk because, well, come on!)  

I’m leaving.
Love you guys.