Okay, I broke my phone [accidentally of course.] and it fell on it's back, with it's cover, but the front got broken.
My phone denies simple logic and has to just do the unfair things.
I'm watching Sala Samobojcow, I don't really know why, it was opened in an untouched tab, so why not?
Maybe after lunch [and after Sala Samobojcow] I'd watch The Killing Room.
It seems really interesting and a bit like experiment-psychological creepypastas.
It's about a couple of people, in a room, for an experiment, and they find out that only one or none is coming out alive.
Now, that would be interesting.
This type of movies doesn't have to have brutal and gore deaths in them if they are made well.
Oh, I should check up on the rating later and agree or disagree.
Just like I did after watching Into The Storm.
Oh, why wait?
I'm going to watch The Killing Room and eat.
Okay, The Killing Room is amazing, Pandorum is amazing, Disturbia is great as well.
I was in the middle of watching another thing, but I got tired so I rested on the beanbag, I don't remember what I watched.
I'm going to listen to some music and Sim a bit and chill, I need to draw a certain character that I thought about.
I was trying using Sai with a mouse.
It's hard, but it's not as bad as it used to be.
The face looks alright, but the clothing is just messed up.
The hair isn't that bad [which is a huge improvement!] and the horns look fucked up.
I really need a tablet soon.
I want a hug.
It's probably just one of my nightly moods.
It's nothing important, but I'll just go with it, let's get over with it already.
I want to cut again, I miss it...
Or maybe I miss the times, where at least my mood was rather stable, which was Gal = Happy, at other times = a bit blue.
Now, it's a fucking hell that goes from extreme happiness and adrenaline, to a typical semi-depressed teenager.
It's not fair.
Seriously, how do I fix it?
That's was quite a dumb question to ask.... We all know the answer.
Omri is still a danger to himself...
And I'm still being triggered but with enough self control to not do something I'd dearly regret about doing.
I can't allow myself to go to such places anymore. No privacy, check ups, no technology...
I feel like I need to purge.
I need to be alright again.
It destroys me... The fact that I'm still without her.
I'm afraid that I might never forget her.
I think about her everyday.
And these songs don't help.
They just make me feel worse about myself.
I almost started crying... Fuck.
It's awful.
I need to see her.
For now, I dye my shirt with permanent red marker and breath the chemicals.
It smells funny.
And it's cool, almost like a light peppermint gum.
Great, now I'm red everywhere.
Maybe I should try typex.
I feel my bones.
Feeling them makes me feel okay.
I don't know exactly why, perhaps it's something to do with last year, the corrupted but partly successful year of My Pro Ana.
I don't understand why now to cut my....
Oh, wait, I do.... Never mind that.
I guess that I'm going to repeat it all again.
Such ugly cycle, isn't it?
Oh well, let's get back to the delights that not eating has to offer.
I don't feel like I'm even real without these things.
It's probably a fuck up I've obtained in these sickening years that I call puberty.
Good night fellas.
I might try tomorrow to learn "P Stands for Paddy I Suppose" on my guitar, and maybe other things.
Maybe I'd go crazy and pick up some weird biblical... NO!
I know.
For the singing-like reading of the bible, we need to add music to eat!
Because choreography isn't an option as it may be considered blasphemous.
It would fit perfectly, we can actually add culture fitting instruments as well, Jews that go by the XYZ when it comes to bible will use ABC and so on.
Oh well...
If not for my brains or the fact that I go to that sports class [basically, the titles that give an impression], I'd probably be stuck in the decorating committee, and since that there are no fundings [all the money goes to ridiculously overhigh pensions], I have my options for the guys from the military band, balloons, and pens.
Oh, and food.
We have food.
My phone denies simple logic and has to just do the unfair things.
I'm watching Sala Samobojcow, I don't really know why, it was opened in an untouched tab, so why not?
Maybe after lunch [and after Sala Samobojcow] I'd watch The Killing Room.
It seems really interesting and a bit like experiment-psychological creepypastas.
It's about a couple of people, in a room, for an experiment, and they find out that only one or none is coming out alive.
Now, that would be interesting.
This type of movies doesn't have to have brutal and gore deaths in them if they are made well.
Oh, I should check up on the rating later and agree or disagree.
Just like I did after watching Into The Storm.
Oh, why wait?
I'm going to watch The Killing Room and eat.
Okay, The Killing Room is amazing, Pandorum is amazing, Disturbia is great as well.
I was in the middle of watching another thing, but I got tired so I rested on the beanbag, I don't remember what I watched.
I'm going to listen to some music and Sim a bit and chill, I need to draw a certain character that I thought about.
I was trying using Sai with a mouse.
It's hard, but it's not as bad as it used to be.
The face looks alright, but the clothing is just messed up.
The hair isn't that bad [which is a huge improvement!] and the horns look fucked up.
I really need a tablet soon.
I want a hug.
It's probably just one of my nightly moods.
It's nothing important, but I'll just go with it, let's get over with it already.
I want to cut again, I miss it...
Or maybe I miss the times, where at least my mood was rather stable, which was Gal = Happy, at other times = a bit blue.
Now, it's a fucking hell that goes from extreme happiness and adrenaline, to a typical semi-depressed teenager.
It's not fair.
Seriously, how do I fix it?
That's was quite a dumb question to ask.... We all know the answer.
Omri is still a danger to himself...
And I'm still being triggered but with enough self control to not do something I'd dearly regret about doing.
I can't allow myself to go to such places anymore. No privacy, check ups, no technology...
I feel like I need to purge.
I need to be alright again.
It destroys me... The fact that I'm still without her.
I'm afraid that I might never forget her.
I think about her everyday.
And these songs don't help.
They just make me feel worse about myself.
I almost started crying... Fuck.
It's awful.
I need to see her.
For now, I dye my shirt with permanent red marker and breath the chemicals.
It smells funny.
And it's cool, almost like a light peppermint gum.
Great, now I'm red everywhere.
Maybe I should try typex.
I feel my bones.
Feeling them makes me feel okay.
I don't know exactly why, perhaps it's something to do with last year, the corrupted but partly successful year of My Pro Ana.
I don't understand why now to cut my....
Oh, wait, I do.... Never mind that.
I guess that I'm going to repeat it all again.
Such ugly cycle, isn't it?
Oh well, let's get back to the delights that not eating has to offer.
I don't feel like I'm even real without these things.
It's probably a fuck up I've obtained in these sickening years that I call puberty.
Good night fellas.
I might try tomorrow to learn "P Stands for Paddy I Suppose" on my guitar, and maybe other things.
Maybe I'd go crazy and pick up some weird biblical... NO!
I know.
For the singing-like reading of the bible, we need to add music to eat!
Because choreography isn't an option as it may be considered blasphemous.
It would fit perfectly, we can actually add culture fitting instruments as well, Jews that go by the XYZ when it comes to bible will use ABC and so on.
Oh well...
If not for my brains or the fact that I go to that sports class [basically, the titles that give an impression], I'd probably be stuck in the decorating committee, and since that there are no fundings [all the money goes to ridiculously overhigh pensions], I have my options for the guys from the military band, balloons, and pens.
Oh, and food.
We have food.
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