Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Match.


I guess I have someone like me.
My mom came to my room and told me one of the girls from the other class.
One of those girls has done the awful, unforgivable, heart racing, mind blowing, blood freezing, thing I can think about.

Another girl is matched to me.
A girl I don't know her identity, and this girl probably doesn't know that I'm matched to her in a well-tied bond of metal.


This stranger girl, has...

This girl cut herself.
How I know?
My mom told me that she shared photos on instagram that she is bleeding and cutting herself.

I've done it too.
And I deleted the all when this boy start questioning me.


But she got discovered by someone that I don't know his name.


I've tried to search for her, but logic tells me now that she'd probably deleted like I done.
I want to know who is she.

I'd probably not help as much as I can.
It's still painful topic for me.
I can't think about people I know, do it.


I want to know.
What's the reason?
I've got the information of "Tough class" that it's hard for her.
But, if she's popular, what would happen?
After all, it's too late.

Will it become to a trend, like it happened in China (google it).
Or may she will go underground?



Berries, survivors.
I hope you'll make it.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Shoes




I could have a better title.
But I can't sit on my table because there are shoes.
I wonder how it's like to be a shoe.
Being stepped over and over.
Changing socks like socks (it sounded better in my head).
And always have this amazing relationship with the other pair.


And by the way, voice in the head.
I hope you know that I sound like a British man.
My voice is so low that the Snowhite thought I'm another dwarf.
I want one of those sweet voices, ones that you can sing with.
Gal, once complained when I sang.

I like to draw anime and this searching led me to an awful feeling instead of satisfaction.
There was an anime there.
A boy with a rope on his neck, and a girl -I think- is letting him sit on her.
He asks why, and she answer that life would suck without him.
But is it the same thing with me?

I don't believe until it's proven.
And I will not hang myself.
If someone want to die, he should do it in a very creative way.
Dance to die.
Shop till drop.
Or even better.
Hearing Rebecca Black non-stop until you getting insane.
Try to have a deep talk with Snooki.
Become a teacher.
Watch twilight (doesn't count for people who like twilight).
Have a very racist talk with black people, Asian people, one direction.
Go to a one direction/Justin Bieber concert with your girlfriend.
Cheat on your girlfriend.

And somehow... Some when.... someone will do it.



My mom hearing now "Whistle".
My mom prefer to hear songs that encourage tweens to become a whores on crack then songs that can speak to you.
Or at least amuse you.
I'm not speaking on most of my songs.
But she can hear Gronlandic Edit.
Or maybe Panic.
This songs are good.
Music and lyrics and the situation you might to hear them.

My teacher told us that in most clubs the song Panic were played.
It's quite funny because in the song there are children singing "Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj" and the DJ is "Whooaaa!!" and spilling alcohol everywhere.


I hate almost everything the currently happening.

Yali have a boyfriend.
And in case you forgot we are in the 6TH GRADE.
We should to play hide and seek (we actually play it... some of us..) and not kiss each other.
But it all happen from the whores on crack music.
I wonder if those ladies making fun of us.

I keep playing like it's alright.
But it doesn't..
Because it makes no sense.
She is the girlfriend of someone she doesn't even like, and what he called "love" is not getting to the bottom of my relationship with you.
I don't know you.
So I hope you understand how much he "love" her.


But...
 I am satisfied, 
Hiding in my friends apartment. 
Only leaving once a day,  
To buy some groceries.


I'm addict to Gronlandic Edit,
I love the voice, the funny lyrics.

All the church is fulled with losers, psychos, or confused.
And the music.


But still there is a slight sign of a whores on crack thing.
But even the video shows it -directly- so it's okay.

I just hate rappers.
and the always remind me rapers.


Sometimes I wish I could blush.
I can't blush.
But it have a good side.
No one can know it, but me and my blood in my cheeks that beats so violently.
And no one can know when the run I just had was a very intensive sport.
It's maybe another reason why I'm so good at lying.
Nobody can see I'm getting nervous and see I'm lying.


I have different soul.
I've experienced more then I expected to do until I'll be twelve.
I've didn't ever expected what have happened in the last 3 years.
Such a massive take over.
From boys to girls,
from girls to myself,
from myself to others,
 from others to the web
from the web to the girls,
 from the girls to Gal,
from Gal  to Maya,
From Maya to myself.
And with all the personality changing.

I'll tell what I want I really really want,
So tell me what you want what you really really want.
It's a better song then whores-on-crack.


From tomboy to girly,
from girly, to slutty,
from slutty to a social butterfly,
From social butterfly to a happy girl,
from a happy girl to a girly,
from girly to emo -my definition- ,
from emo to psycho,
from psycho to a liar,
From liar to emo,
From emo for the personality I own right now.


I have a problem of teenager,
Everyday I can like or hate something. It's a matter of seconds.
I used to like pop, then to Avril Lavigne, then I loved nicki minaj, and now absolutely rock.


I think I like rock because this is the my favorite kind of music that can scream better and louder then me.
I am loud.
I can compete with opera singers.



So now it's noon and my brother pissing me off.
I want to try to figure what is Monster high.
I want (or have?) to find another show in my type.
My type is animation, about teens, and if I like it it's becoming a part of my favs.
For you, I love pokemon (I gotta train Cherry -my chermeleon- and my Pikachu) and I love code lyoko and since I was seven I had a crush on Ulrich.
I love avatar,but the one with Ang because I didn't really liked Korra.
I love spongebob, Invader Zim (I wanted to adopt Gir), I like Danny Phantom, and the short cartoon on Nickolodeon, with the doodle thing and this freddie.


I am a child in me!

Water bending out!




Berries, survivors.
I hope you'll make it.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Exhausted.

Berries, survivors.
I hope you'll make it.



Bat Mitzvah are not a big fun for everyone.
And they'l make you tired -more then usual- when it including sport.

We jumped, ran, swam,and a lot more.
I can't believe I'm still alive.

I can't believe that others too.


Okay, Gal, she forgot my existence, why?
She hanging out with the girl she hates the most.
I mean not directly.
She hangs where the other girl hanging and it's close enough.
And it's unbelievable.

And it's sucks, most of people that I know want to be my friends because I'm a friendly creature, I can laugh, ask, get embarrassed, and all the good things and the bad things that including being a human in my society.
And it sucks.
The person I need and want, doesn't want me at all.
Worst friendship ever.

I hope you will not get a relationship like that.
Why had I change my mind?
So you could now the sting when she laughs and enjoys. Without you.
I wonder if it happened to you.
I wonder if what I say reminds you.
I hope it ended well.


You know, finally I want to be wrong.
If I'll be Mr. Right it would mean that, the girl with the cancer, would be real, would be me in a few years.
I don't want to see this girl never again.
Not in my brain, and of course, not in the mirror.

I want to see another girl in the mirror.
Gal, and I.
She doing my hair, straight like sticks.
And I wear my white dress, she wears another one.
We laugh and sing with a cover of MattyBraps because we adore him, because we found him together.
The phone could rang, telling the bus is right here.
We walk smiling ready for a fun day.
And since that moment I can't tell another word.
If I will I'll cry.


Gal and I were supposed to go to the mall few days ago.
Plans canceled.
She became popular and I stay in the cozy, safe, loved unpopular guys.


So today, I felt that I'm rejecting someone.
Not maya, that's I know a long time.
I've rejected myself.
I hate to be around the populars.

Now I hate them more.
They starting to know English.
And I can't stand it.
My "private" language that I keep for my heart is now destroyed to keep me outside.


So it's really late and today almost becoming tomorrow.


I hope you staying alive.

Berries, survivors.
I hope you'll make it.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Two lips. 25th

It started well...
This day...
Somehow.

Last night I didn't slept on the helix side so I slept all night long.

Most of the people wanted to see my ear multiple times.
I love attention, yet, not as much I love and cherish privacy.
I guess that "you don't know what you have until you've lost it" I've lost privacy... it's kinda true.

Well...
This new piercing aren't hurting so much anymore because I cleaned all the yucky dried blood from the hole so it's looking like the ear haven't been through Hiroshima or Nagasaki.
At least my ear is okay.


But, today Yali and I decided to make a birthday video to Maya(when we say Mazal-tov with extreme Jewish voice -no-) and we done a bit with my iPhone.
Why a bit?
Because we came to shoot the girls from the other class -I hate them- and it took a very long time until we could even tuck a word in this conversation because two popular guys came and you know....Popular+Popular+Birthday of someone else (one of the populars)= louder then gods revolving and twice as shiny.

And I've got pissed off because this is my iPhone, and I didn't came to watch the party of talking.
Just no.
So I walked away and I'm still pissed off on Yali.



I'm having a hard time getting closer to Gal.
It's just... harder.
It's almost impossible because she came a little more popular, and this little is too much for me to handle.
I'm not popular, people know my name from -very bad- reasons, and I don't want many people.

Popularity is knowledge of many people.
Many people means many risks.
Many risks means harder times.
Harder times means troubles.
Troubles means dying inside.
Dying inside means self destruct.
Self destruct is being unpopular.
Let's start again.

I found it as the main reason why I don't like people.
And all the rest are hidden in my drawer.
Away from people, which I hate.


I still miss her.
Imagine the heart necklaces, you give one to someone and the another you keep.
Imagine this necklace is my real, bleeding, barely beating, heart.
Now wheres the other part?
It's in the dumpster.
Away from the one that I gave it to.

Are you feeling the same?
Is this why you reading this?
I would sorry for you, but you feel like me, and I can't feel sorry for myself, I don't deserve it.

I'm different from you.
As well, you from me.
So maybe we just should say hello to each other?
I'll start.
You shall steal the base.

Hello,
My name is/ I'm from/ I'm ___ years old... Dvash Abarbanel.
I'm here because... I'm writing a blog.
I never believed I will... Love tuna fish.
I always wanted... Something still that I could always hang on.
I feel like someone who is different because... I'm not doing the things that expectable in my community, I watch kids show and laugh from the jokes, I want to piece myself, I've destroyed my body and my soul.
I would rather to jump from the window then... To leave Gal (my best friend).
I would like that the writer... Will stop nagging you.


Easy, you just need to copy the base.
I want you to do it so I could know and get closer with people I don't hate, yet not admire.

I like fancy words, I like words that have meaning and beautiful sound.
Like tulips.
I could stare at them, could write they name, could make music inspired from them.
Just from tulips.
Field of tulips, or a few hiding in a stone.

Tulips remind me the pair of the word, two lips, two lips kissing, talking.
Tulips are the flowers that gal mum hold in her wedding.

I'm obsessive.
Bye.


I just show you some photos and I'll be gone


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Crap.


Psychiatrist... Psychologist.... what's the difference? They both make me feel like a psycho.
Insane, mistake, error, gray in world of colors.
I don't like this story.
The story I'm forced to live in.
Today, I wrote something.
But I don't remember.
I'll write it down there in few minutes.

This is awful.
He talked, I was honest but avoided from questions as possible.
I cried, he wrote.
It pissed me off.
I can't tell this "experience" in words.
Few times I thought for myself that It's better to talk to you, to people who don't judge, don't have faces, just statics.

He didn't gave me like tips, he said that he's only making a reference or something.
Most of time I said "I don't know".


You know that a language or moves can't explain everything.
My emotions are one of them.


Well... I'm still away from Gal.
And it's sucks.
Right now I'm asking her if she want to go to the mall tomorrow.
Yes.
I'm not brave but as the meme says, close enough.

Tomorrow I'm going to get my helix (possibly) and maybe if she'll confirm, to the mall with a helix.
It's weird.
6th grader with piercing.
I consider helix as a piercing, and the regular ear piercing, to just earrings, no more.
It's my mind.
And I'm excited.
Helix is awesome.
And when I'll get older and get a permission, I might do more in the ear.
I know if I'll tattoo myself, it will be names of people who is important to me, on my feet.
Because they all make me stand up, stay strong.
My mom will be there.
My father also.
My grandmothers and grandfathers, my grand-grandmother from my mom side because I know her well.
My sister and brother.



I remember that Demi Lovato gave me inspiration, and made me stronger.
Now I hate who she'd became.
This why I love only skyscraper from her songs.
It's the only song I can feel her feeling.
Now with "heartbreak" it's like she is whole different person.
I don't like this "new" person.

But it's because Panic of The Smiths.
I still think that to hang the DJ is a very bright idea.
Today the job of DJ is to play songs that considered as "enjoyable".
The songs mostly catchy, but mostly stupid.

Good example is One direction, they are nice, but I hate them because everyone thinks that they made the song of Blondie (on way or another, I'm gonna get you, i'm gonna get you, get you, get you...) and next.
I knew all along that this song is of Blondie.
I knew it from a movie.




I hope she'll answer.
I want to get tomorrow a helix.
I also want that she'll come with me to the wall mall.
Well since now this emotion roller-coaster is here again, welcome to my own black parade.

Today in this bible lesson (damn israel, damn learning program) the teacher said the word parade in Hebrew and I opened my eyes like the moon, the parade she talked about was happy, but close enough to my imagination  colorful black parade -it make no sense-.


So guys, welcome to Dvash's black parade.
Each one of you are the dancers, musicians, ducky momo's and rilakkuma's.




The thing I've wrote today:

Anger and rage in my lungs raising,Make my heart beat it feels so amazing.The blood in the rush, the pulse that it's making,What have I done? I don't know but it's crazy.


It's kinda song.
I wrote many things like feelings so here they are.
This one is the first unrhyming version of this song

Hate & rage
has burned
my lungs.
Now there's
ashes in
my chest.
Making
my heart
black as
coal.

The next one is,

The problem isHERE.It's unstoppable,The problem iscoming for you.Beware.The problem is deadly.

And

Am I a mistake?Am I a trouble?Am I a human whose here to make good?It doesn't feel likes it.I feel awful as possible to feel.I still have those crazy visions.The last drop of sane has escaped from me.Now I'm just a body that is not what I want.A shell I don't like.How sick is that?Barely 12 and did so much trouble.Cut and harmed herself.Today going to a psychologist.Fell in love once.Almost dies multiple times.If saying that life is a book and you always can find a new page,but mine, it's the last page.I have to read it slowly and carefully.Cause this page is dusted, toorn, with too much stains.Mostly red stains.

Bye!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Knew it.


I just knew it.
Tomorrow is my meeting with a psychologist.
Awful.
But after all , l said it might be an experience.

I'm scared.
I don't know a thing about it, about him or her, or where.
So I'm scared.

I'm stretching the goo in my arms, putty peeps in grey-silver.
My heart isn't eating like it should.
Psychologist.
I hope that Gal will be tomorrow at school, she wasn't today.
My mind ain't relaxed.

Times like this make me wonder, what will relax me?
I used to had an option, this option no longer an option.
I guess when I'll be adult I'll miss this times because the future not promising well, or else it?
I don't feel alive anymore, it's just coming and leaving, this joy.
And I remember that emo it's not only sad, it's being connected to your emotions, you can be the happiest human on the world, but this times it's tough.
And I can't stand it -I'm sitting- and it's hard to carry on.
It's almost impossible.

Now I'll bet this moment you respect almost everyone in your life a little more.
I'm still disrespectful with one person -that I remember right now- and you know her name.

I can't relax from this psychologist thing.
My mom told me that I'm going there because I've harmed myself and talked about suicide.
If she knew like each one of you knew what I feel, it would be different.
Or may it's be worse.

I keep imagining myself having cancer.
I don't know why.
I always see myself bold, making YouTube videos, and I'm thirteen.
I'm blowing the cakes on the candle in my hospital bed, with needle in my arm.
I'm afraid.
When I was younger and from time to time now, I know what the future will do.
Sometimes it's hidden, sometimes not.
I'm afraid it's not just a scary vision.
Celebrating a birthday in a hospital bed, how sick is that?

I guess I don't have words to talk, or tears to cry, or anything else to feel.
I'm numb from fear.

What shell I do?
I don't know.
I can't even vlog.
I wonder what will make me feel better.
I'll start with a bath, dinner, maybe a movie, or just Avatar (the last airbender, it's childish but I love it.).

I hope tomorrow will be kinder, like in The Hunger Games soundtrack.
Just without this wistful voice of this women.
And just the main chorus line.
That tomorrow will be kinder.
Or maybe it'll just taste like the old kinder eggs (word game).

I want to see the light in the end of the tunnel.
Just instead this tunnel of death, it's tunnel of depression.
And instead to get to the place that everyone collide, heaven and hell, I'll go to earth with a smile.

This weird, I used to be whole another person.
Look what it have done to me...
Nothing good but more empathy.

Empathy it's one of the key words in life.
You can feel others.
I miss to feel my mind, my heart.
So it would be nice to know what they feel, and relate.
Sometimes it could burn like hell.

The best friend of my sister having tough times, her parents divorce.
Her bigger brother used to be a good friend of mine, imagine to see his face again.
Your mind delete the old child happy face, replacing it with a confused face, hiding it's feeling.

Awful.

At least now I have another band.
Another one to the list.
My Chemical Romance.
Black Veil Brides.
and the new addition Linkin Park.

I feel confused.
Like the new child face in my mind.


So I guess I'll carry on away from here, to a night.
Frightening probably.
With birthday in hospital bed, and bald head, hearing music that will not make me happier.
Goodbye, goodnight.
And say hello to a ghost.

I'm a ghost,
A soul who's lost.
Using bodies as a host,
Get back to living, making the most.


I find it amusing that the backgrounds are in calming blue, in this horror of life.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Bore.


Tomorrow it's Gal's birthday, and since the risk I've took made her step back, I'm going to celebrate her birthday at school.
I can only have one example for how much she means to me.
Like a girlfriend.
I mean it this way:
She might be annoying and step back, but I love her, and I need her.
And guys I'm not hundred percent sure about my sexual identity, but I mean friends love.
But she still means a lot for me.

So today we didn't do something.
Something special at least.
Yali and Gal somehow want to be with me (why?) and anyone is around me, and I don't know what I feel about it.

Remember the first video?
It was crappy, but still I've done it.
I've also found that vlogging is really fun!
I would give you one now but I'm not sure so if it will be one, i'll publish it later.
Vlogging it's like blogging, but somehow more alive.
I've made you one but my iPhone stopped in the middle because It was too much memory.
I've deleted a lot so now I could do it easier.


I'm getting more boring everyday, nothing interesting happen.
Everyday it's the same, like at the parody movie for the shine of the dead, The Shaun Of The Dead, which I love.
Day after day, I guess it's what called "carry on"....

What shell I do?

When a child that has started to grow says his first word,
The child is picked, being an angel, or being a devil.
His word will change the world.
The devil children changes it's tongues, from flesh pink to a raven black, presenting the devil.
 And the angel children, get a ring, attached to their skin, with two wings.
The babies who don't say a word going to earth, make another kid, that might be an angel boy.

But I am a mixture, said the best, and yet, the worst word.
Love, can make you the happiest, can make you the saddest.
The angel and the devil who kept an eye on me, was surprised.
They knew something strange.
The officials said to grow me on earth, the angel and the devil with this child.
Under the ground.
Safe.
The only mistake that happened to those officials, it's that they've didn't knew what I am.
I destroy.



I don't have something to say, because I'm out of ideas.
If it's intresting enough, tomorrow my clothing will probably get comments, but I like it.
I like ties.
Those are adorable.



I'm sorry I'm boring you to death, but if you think about it, death is the most interesting thing on earth.
Nobody ever felt it, nobody can tell how it's like.
We'll just have to wait.
But I know that one day I'll feel this way, by accident or not, by purpose or not.
It will happen,
Until then I can sit aside and appreciate what I'll lose.


Bye!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Video.


Yes this is the real one.
I've made one.
And since you didn't gave me any ideas *cough* *cough* I've made a vlog about writing this post.
And all the I'm writing captured right in my iPhone.
So...
I'm getting surprised everyday.
Look at the stats.

United States
25
Russia
12
Germany
11
Israel
7
France
2
Indonesia
2
South Korea
2
Canada
1
Hungary
1
Kazakhstan
1


Well I don't know what the thing that I always get views from Israel, it's weird because I live here, and the only one who know this blog.
So I'm ignoring them.
But South Korea?
Well...
I have a problem with south korea...
Because my birthday date is the same one of Kim Jong On, or how he writes it.
If he were alive I'd probably be hanged because having the same birthday date in North Korea with Kim Jons family member is illegal.
Just kidding.
I wonder how it's like to live in every place of those -you- readers.

USA.
I have a big family there.
But it's only in NYC.
I know that one day I'll move to a sunny place, in a beautiful state.
Probably in the worst apartment..... But who cares?! It's America!

Russia.
So many Israeli people getting whores (sorry about that) and wives from there.
My aunt is from Russia.
And you have vodka.
Funny fact.
I've drank vodka once, it was mixed with my favorite juice, mango juice.
It made me go like "wooohooo!!!" and then to "oh crap..." and then "fuck you all!" and I would love to this again.
It was at the beginning of the school year.
I guess after I've started to cut.
And you're freezing most of the year so it's not really fun.

Germany,
It's never fun word in April.
You know... Holocaust...
But with it, you're an awesome ski spot!
And I've never been there.

Israel!!
I have only one sentence for this land!
YOU SUCK.
And it's true.
Ask me, a citizen of it.
At least we have Bar Refali so, if someone want to bomb the shit out of us, ha!

France.
I've been only in disney there.
I've hated this place.
Probably because I've been stuck with smokers, and not very kosher food (like everywhere else).
Viva le France.

Indonesia.
I've never been there.
So I even can't have a rude comment.
I don't really know how people in your place look alike.
I should get there someday.

South Korea.
As said before, I have a problem with this.
But still, I like any kind of people who reminds me Gangnam Style and the new song of PSY Gentleman and when I went to this Opera the main male singer was from South Korea.
You awesome.

Canada.
My best friend is from there, Maya.
I like Canada.
And I like Mapel.
We are so good together!

Hungary,
I like your name.
It's like hungry, and hungry reminds me Patrick Star who wake  up in 3am for a krabby patty.
And I like the coffee-restaurant in our cinema with the black worker we clap for him when he make Hungary food.

Kazakhstan.
I think you are need Russia, right?
And if I don't, don't get mad, I didn't knew that Yeman is in Asia and It's my grand-grandma place where she born.
So I've never been there.
I'll bet you're freezing either.




So in this conversation you figured that I suck at maps, the map of Apple is more correct.
For the old readers, my first blog named Lime and I've colored today my change jar in this color.

So here is the video.
It's dumb, but It's mine.





Well I think it's a good beginning for me.
Maybe if -faking a couch and staring at you- someone -cough- will comment about ideas it would be better.
But since -cough- nobody is commenting.
Ha!


So I'm going tommorow for another field trip.

It just cancelled so horay for no more awful trip.


Well, I just came to the room and Cancer was on, I'm not in the mood.
I'm a promise maker, so here is the real first video.
Ha!
Bye.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Two parts


Two parts of a day.
Happy and unhappy.
At the start, it was awful.
Remember the complaining about what the girl said "I can't be without my friends for two days" and I was talking about that I'm risking losing my best friend, that will probably the only one who really know and understands me.
Well since I watched "Just Peck" and the girl moto was "Life is a bitch and then you die" it's kinda true.
But bitches can be nice when they need you, like life needs me.

So I'm losing my best friend.
Correctly she's far like at the first time I've lost her.
And I hate it.
It's hard.
I'm not really friendly lately.
I'm friendly when there are no people I know to disturb.
Now in school it's hard as breathing in the water, on the bottom of the sea, drowning because your  life doesn't mean too much to you anymore.

Anyways.... I can't live with this anymore.
I'm needy!
I will be the next worst girlfriend... so clingy.
I don't want to be my boyfriend.


So then after school I finally went to the beach with maya (g) for a surf thing she have.
My dad got me a membership for this for the rest of the school year (awesome!) and I'm going to surf with her every Friday.
It'll make me skinny and it's an amazing way to get in shape for the sports class (that I've passed from all those tests!) and It will stay awesome.


Well it's quite strange that everyone hates the bully.
Like only I think she is but they consider her as a bitch, but not like the good better way of being popular, she is just being a jerk.
And everyone agreeing with that.
How weird that I have the guts to do what everyone thinks.
I don't have guts for seeing or hearing about bugs....

Well now I'm using Qello, and this app (that I recommend for those first five minutes) recommended me the band "Bullet For My Valentine" which I've heard about before.
I always like fans...
Especially those kinds.
He says "Fuck you" and middle finger, and then they repeating it after him.
And I love it, it's funny for me.
Like an argue, but with an admire from fans?
Well I still like it.

I like this app because new music is good for your brain, and I need it.
And I'd like anything addicting.
I'm easily addicted.
I have few proofs.
I've got addicted to juice.
I've got addicted to you know what.
I've got addicted to cleaning my room.
Which the last one isn't really bad.


I cant decide.
What should I do.
For now I'm breathing.
Breath in..... Breath out.....
This is my thing.
To breath.

On the TV there's a commercial.
Of a new show.
About tests for making the best new band of Israel.
In here it's a problem.
The music that's considered "Israeli" it's the worst one I've heard.
It's awful and if you want example copy those:

איזי

or

אייל גולן

And discover horror of music.
The first name is of a Israeli rapper (I hate rappers.... unless I can understand what they saying) and I hate his pointless songs, in this case I'll agree with the smiths, hang the dj because the music that they constantly play speaks nothing to me and my life.

And the next one is one of the one who give us the correct ear pain.
And if you want the music that is probably the regular old school old music band.
The address is

כוורת

And yes, I am being nice and giving you pain.

So when I'm in most of parties I'm like "hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj." because I can't stand this music -another why I sit down in parties and wait for hell to end- it's awful.

Stop.

I feel like a snob.
I'm not better then everyone.
I'm worst.
I'm awful.
I passed a lot.
I know how annoying it when another act this way.
So why am I?




Fuck you (bfmv) and fuck me too.

bye

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Disgusting Disguise


Try to say it fast.

The trip sucked.
Simply from just a few reasons that makes sense.

1. Jealousy
2. Freezing
3. Sadness
4. Lack of music, sleep, entertainment, friends.

It's the things that ruins... everything.

Well I was (and am) jealous about my friend and a guy.
Just so cuddly buddly.
Disgusting.
Awfuly disgusting.
But it still made me be sad the I'm alone, even when I'm with everyone, I feel alone.

Freezing, we walked with a pair of jeans (some with shorts) and short shirt and some (like me) a hoodie.
We walked in the and on the beach.
We walked in the rain and breeze.
And stopped to many times for looking at snails.

Sadness, ain't to hard to explain.
So just what I felt in a short list.
Fat,
Alone,
Stupid,
Traitor.
I hate to be far from Gal.
It makes her crawl to Yali and become a tayl, but when I'm around, she is a best friend, because she don't know what to do so she escaping, and I don't know either what to do so I carry on with her.
And I was so scared from this place so I felt stupid.
And alone because I'm a moody and because I'm a ducking (trying to stop with *ucking else) human.
And fat because I ate too much.

And to not feel alone I tried to socialize (leaving my iPhone) and I didn't heard music or feel joy most of time.

A story from the storyteller.
There's the makeover girl I've told you about (or not) and she didn't came because she "can't stay without her friends for two days" and I can, barely, so if I can and risk to lose my friend again, she can leave her barely friends.

I'm such an awful person.
Judging too many.
Too much.
But, why am I letting it happen? I know the results very well, am I?
I've gotta shut my mouth.
Fast.
And don't decide on others.
I know how annoying to talk to someone who give only commands and shows the negative of all.

The fire was pretty.
I like red, and the orange, and the green and the blue of flames.
I wish I was like the fire.
Eternal, staying until she don't have a reason to go further.
But, sometime you need her...
I don't really want to be a fire anymore.

I'd like an ice-cream.
And I'd like a hug.

Well I guess I'll leave you for the few next hours (so I could talk) and yeah!
The video!
well, a soon as possible.
(Probably at Wednesday because on Tuesday I'll be tired from the another two days trip.)

Bye guys.
Loner is off!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Summer days


When I opened my laptop I ate an apple.
I clicked on the Google Chrome sign and then to Blogger.
Then I almost chocked.
You've scared the shit out of me.
199 views?
What?!
And szia for the guy (or gal) from Hungary.
You make me feel famous.

I feel sad because I;m not giving you something back.
I remember I promised a video long ago.... blogs ago...
So why won't I try?
My teacher (cats stink) told us to write a song even the worst ever but still write one.
Here I go shame!
So next post will tell you what is that awful sharing file.


Today I was at the south.
All the roads is full with cars and fluttering flags.
We ate unhealthy food (I ate popsicles, watermelons, some meat,a piece of a pita, and some smoothie of strawberries and water).
It were fun, they have a hot tub!
And I like hanging there with my quiet funny family.


Tomorrow I'm going to a two days trip from Ram.
And on Sunday another two days trip from my normal school.
I'm busy person.

So here is the first verse from the first poem I've read in my book (A Little Book Of Cherished Poems).

Summer Days 
In summer, when the days were long,
We walked together in the wood:
Our heart was light, our step was strong;
Sweet flutterings were there in our blood,
In summer, when the days were long.

I like this one, because it's the first one I've read, the page I opened.
 Well I have to change the background, it's messy in my head.
So bye for now.
If you want to decide on what the video about, comment.

Salute.


I don't really salute for Boston.
I'm brofisting to the people who helping.
And I'll bet that if you didn't saw all those tweets and statuses, and probably instaphotos, you know what I mean.
I didn't knew it until I opened facebook and saw a status of Richard Marx, about it.
Then I immediately I searched for Boston+Attack in Hebrew and I found the article were fine but the subject made me wonder and think.

He put it somewhere, I think that the best place is under something that nobody looks at, and put it somewhere that will do something.

And the saddest part is that a girl, 8 year old girl died.
I don't know her name, I don't know who is she, I don't really care who is she, but she died.
And this girl weren't supposed to die like everyone else who died this way.
Too many are gone.
In Israel it's constantly happen, memorial days, for many people in a large group, for event, for a prime minister, and many others that I'll prefer to forget, forget because it's hard.
This prime minister were murdered.
It was such a shock because, he could get us closer and closer to peace.
But now there is another government, I like the prime minister, he have a plan, he believe in defending and cooperation between differences (my friend would comment on this, "Yeah right, lol").

Because I don't really know -but I kinda care- if you know that's in Israel, when you finish high school  you go to the army, you learn to do push-ups be in massive situations.
We're not like America, we have to do it.
But who doesn't do it? The religious Jewish who is extra with it.
They don't believe in Israel, they'll kill all the Muslims even if they're not Arabs.

Well now I have to explain, Arabs are Muslims (and a little of them are Christians) who hate Israel, and the ones who live in Israel named Plasticine.
Because of the image that sadly we created (and not others) we starting to get... bullied.
Israel is getting bullied, also Muslims because they are not Arabs they love Israel they want peace!

Well at least this blog working, on the Apr. 7th there were an cyber-attack from Anonymous against Israel.
It was quiet funny because Israel is really great in Tech, my cousin moved to New York because he is so smart, and he got to the cyber stuff in the army.

By the way, it's not considered a super secret stuff, it's what we all know in Israel.

So think about it, we're kinda awesome, 65 years of struggle, pain, laughs.
Israel kinda rocks.


And so do you.




So today I was quite (loud!) surprised.
Because that's what I saw.

United States
18
Germany
10
Israel
6
Russia
6
Indonesia
2
Canada
1



Thank you guys!
I don't think that I've done the Israel because I don't do it through my computer, I do it only from my iPhone. 11 views were on this post "Tomorrow!" and most of them came from Windows, and the rest Linux.

The most surprising part was Indonesia.
I don't really knew where it is until now.
You live near Australia right?
And Canada, if you are at the 6th grade in Toronto my friend might know you.

But wait... Who from Israel?!
Oh no....
Mom! Dad!
Shut right now your computer!
It's totally not appropriate! It's like reading you daughter (coughs!) diary!
Thank you very much!

Well mom and dad I wan you to leave so I won't censor this blog!


So guys, I only want to show you the last thing from this weird "behind the scenes"

Referring URLs

EntryPageviews
9
6
1
1
1
1
1
1

Referring Sites


What?!
fimhill?
vampire stat?
What?!
Now I'm getting to this sites and I don't have an Idea what are those.

So bye!
++++BRO FIST++++